Was talking to good friend mum A. She told me that mum C had said my dd was a bad influence on her dd. Happened to mention this to good friend mum B and she said mum C had said the same thing to her.
Mum C is not a good friend so couldn't really give a shit what she thinks but for her to tell other people that she thinks my dd is a bad influence, well that's a bit unfair. Mums A & B know mum C has form for being up her own arse so they didn't take any notice.
They are all normal seven year olds and her dd is just as talkative and confident as my dd. My dd is doing really well in all her subjects at school and I've never had any negative feedback about her behaviour at school, and I'm there four days a week volunteering so there'd be plenty of opportunity for her teacher to say something.
Mum C fancies herself as a bit of an alpha mum and I think she thinks the sun shines out of her dd's arse. I'm a bit cross that she thinks it's ok to talk about children this way, especially when they don't deserve it.
AIBU? If so please pass me a grip by all means, but I feel a bit upset for dd.
AIBU?
To be upset at this mum's comments?
Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme · 19/03/2014 19:04
Understandably you are upset. Children will pick their own friends so what is she hoping to achieve? It always sounds awful when an adult talks about a child in a critical way - very bitchy. I'm a teacher and once heard a mother describe a child in her dd's class as a bitch to another mother in the playground- this child was 5 yo. She then caught me staring and smiled sweetly. I told everyone in the staffroom as I have a big mouth 
. I'd give her a wide berth as she sounds a bit thick to me.
This kind of snidey stuff just makes me cringe and ashamed to be female sometimes (maybe it happens with blokes slagging off each others kids but I haven't witnessed it, always the women with playground mentality 
)
I would confront her, it's not ok to talk about 7yr olds in this way but maybe she'll have a genuinely surprisingly response 
. I wouldn't hold your breath though, it sounds more like there some sort of jealous pettiness or competitive popularity engineering going on.
Oh god I remember that!
When I was about 15 we moved and I made new friends. One of the mums collared my mum one day and told her to keep me away as I was a bad influence. I was mortified. I wanted to crawl into a hole and pull the earth in on me.
My mum was great, she laughed. Loudly. She told MrsMum that her daughters had not known me when they got suspended / pregnant / arrested / drunk and that, had she been the kind of mum who tried to control her children I would NEVER have been allowed to even LOOK at her daughters, let alone be friends with them.
She even shook the woman's hand and said thank you, with a big smile!
It was awful! But I was so proud of her really.
Maybe Mum C has problems with her DC and is trying desperately to blame someone else. It sounds like everyone else is aware, so just smile, maybe buy your DC a Little Devil hat/badge/bag 
This happened to me at secondary school - one of my mate's mums decided on no evidence at all ( apart from weird hair and multi-pierced ears ) that I was a Bad Thing and hung up on me every time I phoned ( back in the dark ages before mobiles 
) My friend was forbidden to speak to me but she always was a wilful trollop and we're still solid 30 years later!
It did hurt my feelings, though ... Mum C is a daft mumper and best ignored!
Perhaps I'd better ignore and hold my head up high. I am a bit crap with confrontation and I might make it worse. Would so love to tell her what I think though, pull her off that high horse of hers.
Perhaps I'll let it stew for another day, until I'm proper wound up, and then let her have it with absolute impunity.
I'm going to ask dd's class teacher if there is anything she'd like to tell me, although as she was gushing with praise for dd at the parents evening last week I somehow doubt there will be. She's quite good friends with this mum C which makes it a bit awkward but I hope she can be professional about it.
Nomama
I've seen them together, they are a bit pally. Mum C is always very overfamiliar with the teacher. Perhaps if I mention it to the teacher it might get back to Mum C and she might rethink herself.
God, I'm getting to the point now where I think fuck you and the horse you rode in on. Silly cow.
What's my best approach then? Ignore or confront?
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