I've had a lot of stress recently, I won't go into (another subject entirely) but it's clouding my judgement a bit as I'm not thinking that clearly.
My daughter has a few communication problems and some other issues that concern me a bit. She was 3 in December. She shows little interest in potty training. She knows that people use toilets and potties, and what they do on them but if I try and gently encourage her to use one herself she totally freaks out. She'll sit on one and "pretend" to use it but only for a second then she gets off, it's like she's playing at using it. As we've been through a lot recently, I haven't really pushed the issue but people keep asking me why she isn't "trained" yet.
Another thing that worries me is her communication...and by that I mean listening, not speaking. Her vocabulary and pronunciation is very good (so I'm told) but she struggles with social interaction and understanding quite a lot. She's quite shy and anxious in new situations. She is also very demanding at the moment (but I'm guessing that's normal).
She doesn't like people touching her...mostly strangers, but sometimes even us. If she doesn't understand something she gets very upset. I'm struggling to find a way to describe how she is. She's very particular and if something isn't exactly to her expectations she will have a total tantrum.
It really frustrates me as it comes across that she is spoilt and rude at times and I hope I haven't fostered that in her. She switches off sometimes when I'm trying to explain what's expected of her, I try and simplify it and speak in a clear and calm but firm way. She does shout and scream quite a lot and refuses with lots of "NO!!!" and if she gets like that I'll give her a time out until she calms down. I don't see the point in reasoning with a tantrumming 3 year old...or telling them off as they're not taking in what you're saying (or that's how it seems anyway). She's become very argumentative, which is really hard to deal with. Example - Her "I want to go upstairs and play in my room" Me - "OK, go on then" Her "NOOOO I don't want to!!" That's just a vague example...she'd argue with herself if she could I think. It drives me batty sometimes.
The other day, someone I consider a friend suggested that maybe she had some sort of SEN. She has a very different parenting style to me. She's very strict and authoritarian, whereas I'm laid back and generally try and guide her towards the right way, rather than force it.
I have no clue about SEN. I personally just think she's struggling with communicating a bit and gets frustrated, but maybe I'm wrong. Is this all normal behaviour? Is there anything I should be concerned about? Nursery are very happy with her, she's behind slightly in physical tasks, but they say her mental development in terms of numbers/colours/letters and things like that is good.
I know this is probably me worrying over nothing....I seem to be doing a lot of that recently. And please I dont' want anyone to think that I consider SEN a "problem" so I apologise if my language is clumsy, I just want to see f she needs any help and if she does, how I got about that.
Also, if it's just totally normal toddler behaviour, any help to deal would be AMAZING...I'm so tired.
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Was my friend unreasonable to suggest this?
47 replies
ScarletLady02 · 19/03/2014 14:42
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