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to dislike people just "dropping in"?

(105 Posts)
Hadagutsful Wed 19-Mar-14 14:41:55

It's probably just me being antisocial. I have some friends who repeatedly "drop in" with no prior warning. I'm not particularly house proud and they wouldn't judge me for the house being less than showhome standards anyway. But I really don't like it when they call in and then end up staying for an hour and a half chatting and eating all my biscuits with the assumption that if I'm home, it's ok for them to do so. I don't feel it's ok to not let them in. I'm not really looking for solutions, just wondering if I'm being grumpy and antisocial. grin

Bellini81 Wed 19-Mar-14 14:46:03

I must be grumpy & antisocial then too. If my doorbell goes when I am not expecting anyone it gets totally ignored.

dunsborough Wed 19-Mar-14 14:46:48


I hate it too. Call me first!

TarkaTheOtter Wed 19-Mar-14 14:46:50

I don't like this either. I would find it impossible to tell people they couldn't come in even if it was really inconvenient so to me it seems a bit presumptuous.

GrendelsMum Wed 19-Mar-14 14:48:07

Oh, I love it - really enjoy unexpected visitors. But I have no shame about saying after 30 mins 'now you need to go', and none of my friends would take it the wrong way.

sunbathe Wed 19-Mar-14 14:48:11

Keep 'em on the doorstep! grin

Or ignore the bell and the phone, like I do.

DrOwh Wed 19-Mar-14 14:48:42

I absolutely would hate if people did that to me.

MistletoeBUTNOwine Wed 19-Mar-14 14:49:59

Me too Grendel- hardly ever have visitors but I love it when people do. Dp not so much though hmm

ReginaldBlinker Wed 19-Mar-14 14:53:01

Personally, I love when people drop in unexpectedly. One, it happens so rarely, that it's quite a nice surprise when it does happen, and two, I always saw it on the movies and on tv when I was little, and I wanted to live in a house like that and never did. So now, I always have the house tidy when I'm in, and always have biscuits in the cupboard in case someone does drop in grin

Joysmum Wed 19-Mar-14 14:56:31

I hate it, it doesn't happen because people know how I feel and they feel the same.

It also doesn't happen because I don't have a regular routine so might not be in.

Seminyak Wed 19-Mar-14 15:05:34

I wish I had people who'd do that!!! But yanbu if you don't like it.

GrendelsMum Wed 19-Mar-14 15:15:04

Reginald - yes, it feels like being in a TV show where people always drop round unexpectedly and have a whale of a time.

starfishmummy Wed 19-Mar-14 15:16:10

If you really hate it then try this old method. Quickly out your coat on and grab your bag and keys when the doorbell goes. If its someone you are happy to see then you can say you have just get home. If you don't want to see them you are on your way out to an appointment and must dash...

Of course you may then have to go out in case they follow you grin

DidoTheDodo Wed 19-Mar-14 15:18:16

I like it.

I really missed it when I moved down south. An invitation of "Please drop in for coffee" had to be amended to "Please drop in for coffee on Thursday at 2pm" and it took some getting used to.

Felyne Wed 19-Mar-14 15:19:10

I wish I loved it. I'd love to be more inviting but I'm not. I get stressy enough when I'm expecting people. I don't even know why.

Sparklysilversequins Wed 19-Mar-14 15:20:29

Everyone dropped in when I was a child. No mobile phones etc, quite often no land line either bad I am a seventies child so not THAT old. Dropping in was the only way to visit if you were too common to have "At Home" afternoons or calling cards. I hate it now too though "f*ck off! I am about to watch TOWIE on catch up!"

Costacoffeeplease Wed 19-Mar-14 16:11:54

I hate it, and never answer the door if I'm not expecting anyone, I've unplugged the landline too, so only people with my email/mobile no can contact me

notthegirlnextdoor Wed 19-Mar-14 16:18:56

If I'm not expecting anyone I ignore the door
Zero fucks given.

magicstar1 Wed 19-Mar-14 16:24:53

I hate it friend in particular often just turns up...even though he's been told numerous times that I hate it, so I stopped answering the door to him. Now he rings ahead. My dad is the same, and has been known to shout out that there's nobody home lol.

SallyMcgally Wed 19-Mar-14 16:29:12

I almost always hate it, unless it's someone I'm really really fond of, who won't judge and who I haven't seen for a while.
It's a v dangerous thing to do - how do you know you're not going to walk into the middle of a blazing row, or find someone in floods. I repeat - the best strategy is to dig a moat, and erect a drawbridge so that you can have ultimate control over the times when visitors are able to call.

Delphiniumsblue Wed 19-Mar-14 16:36:57

I love it!

Eastie77 Wed 19-Mar-14 16:37:05

One of my neighbours does this and it drives me mad.
The worst incident was when she 'popped round' uninvited when my baby daughter was just 4 days old. She had her two rowdy kids in tow who ran amok while she wittered on about how tired I looked and wasn't it a shame I ended up having a c-section rather than a natural birth. I haven't opened the door to her since!

ViviPru Wed 19-Mar-14 16:38:28

dig a moat, and erect a drawbridge

<takes notes/draughts sketch>

Not only do I hate to be the dropee, I get twitchy at the thought of being the dropper.

One of the MANY reasons I no longer see my brother it that he refused to make plans and insisted that we just 'drop in' when passing, then had a whinge up that we supposedly 'never make an effort' to see our DNs. For a start, they live 45 minutes away in a direction we never have any reason to pass... hmm

StephenKatz Wed 19-Mar-14 16:46:01

I hate it too. It's my family that do it, rather than friends. It's always after I've taken my bra off for the evening angry

ShirakawaKaede Wed 19-Mar-14 17:56:45

My Dad's mother used to just "pop round" (from a few miles away, so a possible wasted journey). She would then criticise my Mum for the house not being tidy enough (bear in mind my bros & I were quite small; there were 3 of us - what did she expect without notice?) and whatever else she could think of to berate her for - driving my Mum to hide a bottle of vermouth (or whatever else) behind her chest of drawers, unknown to everyone but me - to swig before the shaming/criticism/abuse started. She didn't normally drink. Says it all, really.

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