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To be weirded out by FB birth updates?

(36 Posts)
TheMagicToyshop Wed 19-Mar-14 11:44:52

A guy I know from years ago is last night/this morning providing very regular Facebook and Twitter updates on his wife's labour - including comments on how excited he is, photos (not of her yet thank god but of their home birth set up), how things are progressing including cm dilated shock, and the midwife's comments. I haven't given birth myself but this is really weird right? How can she be ok with this?!

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Wed 19-Mar-14 11:57:02

I'm not on FB personally but these days I guess a Facebook status update saying you're on your way to the hospital/settling in to give birth at home, then another one later announcing the birth is quite the thing.

My concern would be, clever as it is, the risk is that this friend will miss out on something really important by living it through technology rather than in real life. I suspect nearer the big moment his DW will want him focused on her not social media.

TheMagicToyshop Wed 19-Mar-14 12:01:33

Yes that's how I feel. A recent update said he was providing a hand to squeeze but I'm not sure exactly how he's doing that whilst updating Facebook!

Dwerf Wed 19-Mar-14 12:12:10

I imagine various grandmothers, aunts and uncles are riveted to their facebook today. I'd be quite excited to be following a 'live birth' on facebook.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Wed 19-Mar-14 12:12:35

A mw told me that nowadays no detail is too private or graphic for some people. Which could be educational if you haven't been in that situation! Scroll on by if you feel it's a little tmi.

ChristmasYoni Wed 19-Mar-14 12:14:14

I've seen people updating facebook before the cord is cut -literally

RhinestoneCowgirl Wed 19-Mar-14 12:14:43

I had homebirths and would have hated if DH had done this.

Nice smug smiley photo of mother and baby when it's all over thanks...

Is it that different to the 'Live birth' threads that MNers post here, from time to time? As long as his wife/dp is aware of what he's posting, and happy for him to share, I can't see anything that terribly wrong with it.

And maybe it will stop people from ringing and pestering for news.

TheMagicToyshop Wed 19-Mar-14 12:32:13

I guess it's different to a live birth thread in that it's him not her doing all the posting - that's the part I find weird, just can't imagine her being totally ok with him being on his phone updating on the status of her cervix every 15 mins. The updates are taking up my whole feed so I think it might be a case of avoiding fb today!

Virtualhaggling Wed 19-Mar-14 12:34:33

It's sad. You are totally and utterly not bu.

elliejjtiny Wed 19-Mar-14 12:41:58

One of my friends gave birth recently and her husband was posting updates including "we're pushing". There was silence after that so I was assuming she'd shoved his phone up his bum so he could have something to push out grin.

Now he updates whenever he does a night feed: "I'm up feeding our princess so my wife can sleep" with a whole load of replies saying how wonderful he is, then him saying "it's nothing, my wife is worth it". Makes me want to puke.

elliejjtiny Wed 19-Mar-14 12:44:27

Mind you, she's one of those people who puts her whole life on facebook. I'm a "x born this morning, 7lb 2oz mum and baby doing fine" with a photo types of people.

MimsyBorogroves Wed 19-Mar-14 12:50:55

One of my friends did this - he must have been on his phone the entire time. How his wife didn't throttle him, I don't know. The best one was when he said "she's finally 10 inches dilated!" and I asked if she was birthing an elephant.

He just seemed detached from the birth.

TheMagicToyshop Wed 19-Mar-14 12:52:08

Oh god I really don't think I could cope with 'we're pushing'! shockshock
Yes this guy is ridiculously Facebook active at the best of times so I'm not sure why I'm surprised really.

hoppingmad Wed 19-Mar-14 12:54:25

We're pushing?! Christ if dh had done this I'd definitely have shoved his phone somewhere uncomfortable!
In fact dt's were about 3 days old before he posted something on fb - we were a little busy up until then!

The midwives at my local unit have a no mobile phone rule during labour. They simply state if a husband/partner is there to support a woman giving birth, then they have to provide support and not play on their phones. Anyone who has to be pulled up on this once gets asked if they would like to leave to focus on their phone.

Because they are really emphatic during the ante-natal phase about this rule, they have no trouble at all getting people to follow it.

Aeroflotgirl Wed 19-Mar-14 13:00:25

Yanbu are some things not private anymore!

Doodleoinkquack Wed 19-Mar-14 13:06:57

I think it's pretty crude, but, each to their own I guess. I'm sad that people think that living life's big moments via social media is better than really living them ifswim, but hey ho. My DH is not a fb updater, but fiddles with his phone, games etc, in times of boredom or stress. It gets on my nerves, so I pre-warned him that if I saw the phone while in labour it would soon be in a billion pieces. I didn't see it, but I'm sure the thought would never have crossed his mind even if DD didn't half shift herself so there was no time.

Most disturbing fb updates I've seen are from a girl I vaguely know who was birthing partner for her sister. String of updates about sis being in labour, what pain relief she had etc. Then - "midwife can feel baby's head, not long now sis, push!" which was then 'liked' by the sister! Updating fb while pushing out your first baby, that's dedication. Ugh.

KonkeyDong Wed 19-Mar-14 13:12:25

I'd have seriously stabbed someone if they'd been updating Facebook during labour.

Emilycee Wed 19-Mar-14 13:13:24

Urgh. Id drop his phone in the birth pool!

cowbiscuits Wed 19-Mar-14 13:14:57

"My wife's just shat in the pool"

I'd LTB.

Sukebind Wed 19-Mar-14 13:22:36

With my second DC my husband posted on FB to say we were leaving for the hospital and then the baby had been born (there might have been other updates but I doubt it as when DC was born even the midwife wasn't expecting it!). If I hadn't got a lovely new baby to take my mind off it, I would have been furious. I felt it was an invasion of my privacy, lacked class and was another reason why I hate the way our lives seem to have to be narrated through Fb, What's app?, etc.

Did anyone see recently that the actor Jason Biggs (American Pie, etc.) was criticised for posting photos of his wife during labour and immediately after? His wife was furious that they had been censured in this way and posted a photo of her placenta being held up in the delivery room and asked 'does my placent look fat in this photo?' or something like that.

softlysoftly Wed 19-Mar-14 13:33:35

I think its terrible, it also would generally reflect someone who has no history or understanding that things don't always go well.

So you are happily updating facebook and where does it end? "baby in distress heading for theatre" then all goes quiet for the now terrified following relatives?

Crude, shortsighted, not committed to supporting his wife and generally fucking stupid.

TheMagicToyshop Wed 19-Mar-14 14:58:46

The baby has arrived, apparently he is 'in bits' - although composed enough to compose long smug status about her lack of pain relief. I am in no way tempted to comment 'thank god maybe you will shut up and focus on your wife and baby now'. Can't wait for the daily nappy/feeding/burping updates to start!

SparklySocks Wed 19-Mar-14 15:02:23

Someone I know posted that her mucas plug had come out hmm . TMI.

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