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To really struggle with my DDs friends at times....

(8 Posts)
BumpyGrindy Tue 18-Mar-14 21:35:00

I know that we're not meant to get involved or too invested in children's frienships but it IS hard as girls approach THAT age isn't it?

DD is in year 5 and there seems to be some "stuff" going on...who is whose "BFF" (yuk) and who isn't seems to be the main thing and DDs best friend is LOVELY on the face of it but I notice that she sometimes ditches my DD...mainly when DD hasn't wanted to do what the friend wanted to do at breaktime etc....or if DD wants to play with some other friends...or include other girls.

When this happens DDs best friend dumps her in favour of her "second in command" and ceases to text DD or to include her at all.

I saw that DD had a text tonight from the best friend which said "Let's text bestie"

After around a week of no texts this annoyed me...irrationally...because what has it to do with me?

I just want to shake the little buggers. I am sure DD is not totally innocent.

ThreeBeeOneGee Tue 18-Mar-14 21:40:09

DD's friendship group sometimes has these shifting dynamics (she is also in Y5). There are four of them. Two of them regularly fall out with each other, and the third sometimes tries to control who plays with whom. (I'm not saying DD is blameless, I'm sure she contributes to the drama in her own way). None of them have mobile phone though, which simplifies things.

WorraLiberty Tue 18-Mar-14 21:40:12

I just want to shake you to be honest! grin

You'll wear yourself out getting emotionally invested in all this nonsense.

It's part of a learning curve that kids go through, to prepare them for teen/adulthood.

Just be there for her if she's ever really upset...that's all you can do.

Oh and maybe ditch the phone. 9 or 10 year olds really don't need to be texting their friends...it can cause all sorts of hassle.

MammaTJ Tue 18-Mar-14 21:44:51

You need to go deaf and blind for the next four years or so.

I found shutting all the nonsense out when my DD1 was in middle school helped a great deal. DD2 is a delicate little flower and starts middle school in September and I am dreading it, but have my ear plugs at the ready.

BumpyGrindy Tue 18-Mar-14 21:45:26

I wish she did not have the phone but she only texts this one friend and her older cousins (who just kid her along and are very kind about their annoying little cousin) but she needs the phone as it varies who collects her from school and brownies and dance class....and from experience it's important that we can sometimes text or call her to let her know who will be collecting her. We live too far to walk to any of these.

BumpyGrindy Tue 18-Mar-14 21:46:16

Mamma I will try to shake it all off....I HAVE to check her phone though...it would be very remiss of me not to.

kerala Tue 18-Mar-14 21:53:44

It's developmental training for relationships don't you remember it?! The intrigue! Cardinal Richelieu has nothing on the a average 11 year old girl

BumpyGrindy Tue 18-Mar-14 21:58:51

That's what I said to DH the other day Kerala I said that it's almost like they fall in love with one another! They have such mad obsessions with each other and then play frigging games! Gotta love your Cardinal Richelieu comparison there grin

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