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AIBU to be angry with DD for reading my book

(143 Posts)
Serendipity30 Tue 18-Mar-14 21:09:03

Just caught DD sneakily reading my book 'Angela's Ashes'. She is 9 and in my view too young to deal with the themes in her book. Ideas please on how to address this with her tom as she is now asleep.

LapsedPacifist Wed 19-Mar-14 18:22:29

It was Little Women that traumatised me.


Other books on our 1960s 'Nursery Index' included The Little Wooden Horse, Black Beauty and The Water Babies - all good classic children's books which had to be hidden away after causing my younger brother to cry himself to sleep for months.

Wuthering Heights - a set book at school - messed with my 13 year old head far more than a contraband copy of Mandingo purloined from under my BF's mother's bed. WH was supposed to be 'literature' and therefore instrinsically important and 'good', but the inexplicable emotional and physical cruelty portrayed was deeply disturbing. At least Mandingo could be interpreted within the context of slavery and was obviously intended to be a trashy bodice-ripping heap of sleaze blush

OP - if your DD is upset by reading Angela's Ashes then she will have learned a hard truth about peeking into the Pandoras Box that is the world of adult books. Hopefully she will ask your advice about what to read in future, or at least read a bookjacket carefully to find out what the book is about before reading it. She is very unlikely to experience any lasting damage!

BoffinMum Wed 19-Mar-14 18:27:54

Good grief, you should have seen what I was reading at 9. Turned me into a brilliant reader and ultimately an academic. Kids tend to skip over the bits they are not ready for emotionally.

Just tell her to ask if there's anything that worried her in the book.

LapsedPacifist Wed 19-Mar-14 19:57:42

I found a copy of 'The Encyclopaedia of Sex Practice' in the parental (broken) locked 'Forbidden' bookcase, when I was 8. Most enlightening.

FrumiousBandersnatch Wed 19-Mar-14 22:09:24

I read Jane Eyre when I was about eight and had terrible nightmares about the red room.

BrokenButNotFinished Wed 19-Mar-14 22:22:07

I haven't read the whole thread, but I agree with others: children bounce off the bits they're not ready for. I read 'Lady Chatterley' at 10 or 11 and while I understood the words on the page, I totally failed to grasp what it was really on about. If she's interested, let her read it. Explain what you feel you want to. It's years since I read 'Angela's Ashes', but I just remember it being miserable.

To 'Wuthering Heights', on the other hand, read at 14, can be attributed much of my teenage emotional torment. I didn't realise love wasn't meant to be like that... grin

MyChemicalGerard Wed 19-Mar-14 22:30:37

Why angry and not really pleased she is interested in something worthwhile? I was reading Stephen King and other adult books at 9, loved reading and am not studying literature at Uni so never damaged me smile

MyChemicalGerard Wed 19-Mar-14 22:33:17

I meant am am, not i am not! oops

Alibabaandthe40nappies Wed 19-Mar-14 22:47:07

Lapsed yes there was a similar bookcase in our house which I found some very interesting books in. The Joy of Sex, a version of the Karma Sutra etc. I remember reading it with my mouth hanging open in shock, and then not being able to look my parents in the eye for days because of the horrific idea that they might have done some of the things depicted in the books!


defonamechangedforthis Wed 19-Mar-14 22:59:57

i agree with lots of posters, say i would let her read it. At her age i was reading Hannibal and all kinds of books from my dads book shelf.
I would say as long as you are open to talk and explore the book in detail with her then it can only be a good thing.
Reading will help to encourage growth and broaden her interests. Perhaps allow her to read what she wants, (50 shades excluded!) and then maybe spend some time talking it through and discussing factors in the book?

mowmylawn Wed 19-Mar-14 23:31:34

EyelinerQueen I was coming on here to say that at 11 I was reading The Exorcist and Flowers in the Attic - AIBU to think that's soooo creepy?

Being a good reader at a young age I would read anything I could get my hands on, if it was left out I would read it.

SleepOhHowIMissYou Sat 22-Mar-14 09:39:10

My daughter's read all that she wants to in the school library so is allowed to take in her own books. I bought her Judy Blume's 'Are You There God, It's Me Margaret?". Perfect, I thought. The book is about a 12 year old in middle school who wants to start her period and grow breasts so she's 'normal' and also deals with cliches, peer pressure and starting to notice boys. Also, 'Margaret' has been raised with no religion (like my daughter) and the book is about her relationship with God without dogma.

It was confiscated. Returned at the end of the day with the advice that this is a book for High School children and not suitable for her.

My daughter is one of the older Year 5s and is very physically developed. It is a secular school.

Am I right to think this a bit of an overreaction on the school's part?

SleepOhHowIMissYou Sat 22-Mar-14 09:46:45

Cliques NOT cliches! smile

Elsiequadrille Sat 22-Mar-14 10:10:18

Wow, an overreaction I'd say, Sleep. Though I remember (many many years ago now) a friend of mine got into trouble for spending her book prize money on a Judy Blume book as they were banned in the school.

I think the only books I've ever put away in the attic have been Game of Thrones (blush to admit to owning such trash, has now been given to charity) and some of the more dubious Jacqueline Wilson books, but the latter were taken out again and probably never should have gone in. Otherwise, no permission is needed to read anything in the house (unless I'm currently reading).

WitchWay Sat 22-Mar-14 10:18:41

I read all sorts of "grown-up" books at that age. I'd probably suggest it might be too old for her & ask what she thought, telling her that she could discuss anything she found difficult.

If she'd been reading it while I was reading it however, with my bookmark in & everything, i'd go berserk smile

Nataleejah Sat 22-Mar-14 10:34:12

She's interested in a BOOK! And its a serious book, not one of those mummy porn nonsense.

HerGraciousMajTheBeardedPotato Sat 22-Mar-14 20:32:09

Definitely a ridiculous over-reaction, Sleep. I, too gave dd that book in Y5 (10th birthday present, in fact). She's not particularly developed, but it was the right time and led to some very good discussions and learning for her. All of the mums I know who have given Are You There God? to their dds, have done so in primary - some even earlier than Y5.

rabbitlady Sat 22-Mar-14 21:16:51

if you don't want her to read it, don't have it in the house. all reading material is fair game.
really, i mean it. i feel quite angry that you blame your daughter for reading trash when you read it and leave it around for her to find.

GeordieRose007 Sun 23-Mar-14 11:49:50

I think as long as you are there to put everything in context and encourage your daughter to talk to about anything she doesn't understand then there isn't a problem here. I think it's great she's showing an interest in books and reading tbh. At her age I was reading much worse; all of my mam's Stephen King and Clive Barker books as a 13 year old, all the Hannibal Lecter books the year after that, Lolita, Game of Thrones, Gone With the Wind, the Marquis de Sade, Shakespeare, cheesy soft porn bodice rippers..anything I could get my hands on was devoured and enjoyed.

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