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AIBU to be angry with DD for reading my book

(143 Posts)
Serendipity30 Tue 18-Mar-14 21:09:03

Just caught DD sneakily reading my book 'Angela's Ashes'. She is 9 and in my view too young to deal with the themes in her book. Ideas please on how to address this with her tom as she is now asleep.

WorraLiberty Tue 18-Mar-14 21:10:30

Surely you'll address it by telling her she's too young for the content of the book, and to ask in future?

AcrylicPlexiglass Tue 18-Mar-14 21:10:31

That kind of pity porn is bound to appeal to a 9 year old girl. Bunty stories were similar in my day. All doom and gloom and suffering. Loved it.

Kif Tue 18-Mar-14 21:11:02

If she can read it she'd old enough for it - that's my view.

Books are a good way to open up more grown up themes at a pace that the child can handle.

Turnedouttoes Tue 18-Mar-14 21:11:32

I used to do this as a child. At 9 I had a reading age off the scale which went up to 15. Perhaps you need to get her some books which are challenging but also age appropriate. Tbh I wouldn't worry too much though, if you talk about the issues with her I don't personally see the harm.

EyelinerQueen Tue 18-Mar-14 21:11:39


If you don't want her reading certain books, keep them out of her reach.

I read The Exorcist when I was 11. And Flowers in the Attic. I read anything that I could find in the house. It's not her fault if she's similarly curious.

Needadvice5 Tue 18-Mar-14 21:11:53

if you don't want her to read it, for whatever reason then don't leave it lying around!!!

How did you manage before mumsnet? try talking to her ffs....

CocktailQueen Tue 18-Mar-14 21:11:58

God, that was a depressing book. Dh and I hated it.

No, don't be angry. Why not tell her why you'd rather she didn't read it, and go to the library together or suggest some other books she might like?

notnowbernard Tue 18-Mar-14 21:11:58

Why angry? confused

I'd want to avoid turning a book into a 'contraband' item IYSWIM

can't you just explain that it's got difficult subjects in it that she'd struggle to make sense of atm? That's it's meant for adults not kids?

AcrylicPlexiglass Tue 18-Mar-14 21:12:00

Yeah, agree with worra to just say oh, by the way, this is my Bunty and you can't read it until you're 12/14/42/whatever age you think is suitable.

isitsnowingyet Tue 18-Mar-14 21:13:05

Maybe she is mature enough? I wouldn't be telling her off, but discussing it with her. I'd keep an open mind

sunbathe Tue 18-Mar-14 21:13:16

I used to read my dad's library books when I was way too young for them.

Perhaps you need to get her some new books/take her to the library?

steff13 Tue 18-Mar-14 21:13:34

I've read it, and I think I would have been mature enough to read it at her age. Are you sure she isn't?

Regardless, I think you simply need to tell her you don't think it's appopriate for her and leave it at that. I don't think it really needs to be "dealt with," just explained. It isn't like it's 50 Shades of Gray. Unless you had an Angela's Ashes cover on 50 Shades of Gray. smile

littlewhitebag Tue 18-Mar-14 21:13:37

I loved reading my mum's books as a child and longed for the day i could get an adult ticket at the library. As long as you are happy to discuss anything she doesn't really understand then i think it will be fine.

WorraLiberty Tue 18-Mar-14 21:14:29

I'd want to avoid turning a book into a 'contraband' item IYSWIM

Depends on the book

I wouldn't want a 9 year old reading 50 Shades Of Gray for example

HarlotOTara Tue 18-Mar-14 21:14:55

Why be angry? She was curious and reading a book - both positive things in my view. Angela's Ashes is very miserable but jot exactly porn after all. She will only understand what she is capable of understanding anyway. I tried reading Little Women when I was 5 or 6 - didn't understand a word

adeucalione Tue 18-Mar-14 21:14:56

We've got hundreds of books in our house, so putting those with inappropriate themes out of reach would've been difficult.

Instead I told my DC that they had to ask me before they took a book from the bookshelf, so that we could discuss it first if necessary.

Don't be cross with her OP, it's just natural curiosity. I thought you were going to say it was Fifty Shades of a Grey or something!

WorraLiberty Tue 18-Mar-14 21:15:00

X posted Steff!

Sharaluck Tue 18-Mar-14 21:15:14

I agree that if she can read it she is old enough for it. I don't think any books should be off limits. Reading is different to viewing images etc, so I don't think rating applies like tv.

Start a discussion with her if you're worried about themes etc so you can find out how she feels about it.

Goblinchild Tue 18-Mar-14 21:15:25

Don't be angry, what's the point? confused
Talk to her about the content and why you don't want her to read it until she's old enough to handle the content. In the same way you'd do with 15 and 18 cert DVDs.
Unless you were upfront about her asking permission before reading one of your books, she's done nothing wrong. Mine used to check with me if something caught their eye, and we'd talk.

Philoslothy Tue 18-Mar-14 21:16:26

Needadvice5 Tue 18-Mar-14 21:

How did you manage before mumsnet? try talking to her ffs....

I suspect most threads could be answered like this , thankfully few people are that rude.

steff13 Tue 18-Mar-14 21:17:04

I love that 50 Shades of Gray has become the go-to example of a dirty book. smile When I was little it was Danielle Steele.

notnowbernard Tue 18-Mar-14 21:17:33

I'd hope MNers in particular would be ashamed wise enough to not leave 50 Shades of Grey lying around for all to see...

mrsjay Tue 18-Mar-14 21:18:05

why are you angry and tbh how far did she get into it and is it really a terrible book for a 9 yr old granted it isn't very cheery but dont be so over dramatic tell her she can read it when she is old enough, least it wasnt 50 shades that was handed in to my dds (secondary) school book fair and a lad got a hold of it and was reading it out ALOUD in history shock

Pippilangstrompe Tue 18-Mar-14 21:18:11

Is she actually reading it or is she just reading the odd page? If it is the latter, then just move it out of the way for a day or two. If she actually wants to read it, then say no and direct her in the way of more appropriate reading matter.

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