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To think etiquette should be taught at school?

(113 Posts)
Pedantichag Tue 18-Mar-14 20:15:38

What has happened to basic manners? Hmmmmm? Anyone have any idea where they've gone? Most people I've encountered recently seem to have lost theirs.

dementedma Tue 18-Mar-14 20:39:53

Oh, I do love a man with nice manners.
And no, I can't reconcile it with being a feminist but a chap who opens a car door for me is always going to be on a winner......

I had an Eastern European student once who got soaked holding his umbrella over me in the rain as he escorted me back to my car......melts
<expects to be flamed>

phantomnamechanger Tue 18-Mar-14 20:40:05

pedant - not all schools have after school clubs as in childcare, no. many have lots of voluntary clubs run by staff - DSs primary has loads of sports, choir, recorder group, photography club, green gang and others - all run voluntarily by staff and a few by parents

Pedantichag Tue 18-Mar-14 20:40:06


Re after school clubs. I did not know that. All the ones in our wider area do.

TiggyCBE Tue 18-Mar-14 20:40:56

Like addressing letters to married women by their husband's name? That's ettyket but people don't seem to like it on here.

Pedantichag Tue 18-Mar-14 20:41:47


Yes, those were the ones meant.

phantomnamechanger Tue 18-Mar-14 20:42:03

pedant - depressing? why? every year our school does a parent survey and there is just not enough demand for pre or after school wrap around care to make it possible

cardibach Tue 18-Mar-14 20:42:33

Why are you depressed that not all schools have after school clubs?

AntlersInAllOfMyDecorating Tue 18-Mar-14 20:43:25

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

phantomnamechanger Tue 18-Mar-14 20:44:04

sorry x-posts - confused about clubs after school and afterschool clubs !

WooWooOwl Tue 18-Mar-14 20:44:05

It is depressing, I agree.

Are you referring to after school club as in childcare, or after school extra curricular clubs?

I'd have thought that most schools have extra curricular clubs, but they will often be run by outside agencies doing things like French or football. Loads of schools don't have what I know as 'after school club' that parents can use as childcare, and lots don't have any teacher led free or very low cost clubs.

cardibach Tue 18-Mar-14 20:45:21

Aaah, I see. You are depressed that already overworked teachers are not working for free after school to keep your little darlings occupied, and also want to add an extra thing for them to teach confused
What do you want parents to do? How many unpaid hours do you do?

Pedantichag Tue 18-Mar-14 20:45:31

No, I'm depressed at WooWooOwls post prior to that one.

Although, after school clubs are not as far as I'm concerned a bad thing.

stillenacht Tue 18-Mar-14 20:47:31

I am a secondary school music teacher. I JUST WANT TO TEACH MUSIC!!! Not pshe, not budgeting, not work skills, not careers, not learning skills etc etc Just music please!!!!!!!confused

Goblinchild Tue 18-Mar-14 20:48:26

I have beautiful manners, good posture and a lovely standard English accent with excellent grammar. grin.
However many parents would take exception if I attempted to make any of my rules of etiquette standard for their children.
So it would have to be optional, how to speak proper and which spoon to use and the correct order of people to offer your seat to. Which means you'd be likely to be teaching those that already knew.
We had deportment and elecution lessons in one of my private secondary schools. Luvverly.

morethanpotatoprints Tue 18-Mar-14 20:48:41

I think parents should be more responsible and teach their children good manners, not necessarily etiquette though.

daytoday Tue 18-Mar-14 20:48:41

Is this a joke? Good manners should be taught at home! Of course it's reinforced at school but really? On the curriculum?


Pedantichag Tue 18-Mar-14 20:49:08


Free? We pay for all extracurricular activities, I wasn't aware schools offered these free.

Finola, I'm very publicly displaying how out of touch I am that I'm outing myself left right and centre.

Martorana Tue 18-Mar-14 20:50:06

Basic manners should be taught at home and reinforced by school. "Etiquette" is something different. I teach my children very old fashioned posh manners- on the principle that if they "know", for example, how to eat asparagus they can always choose not to eat it that way, but there might come a time when it might be useful for them to know how the dinosaurs do things.....and they can choose to do it the dinosaur way! In the same way that if I could speak French, I would teach them French.

Goblinchild Tue 18-Mar-14 20:50:49

Most clubs and after-school activities run by the teachers are free OP.

Pedantichag Tue 18-Mar-14 20:51:14


Oooh, books on heads by any chance?

I'm getting all in a happy fluster at the thought.

Pedantichag Tue 18-Mar-14 20:52:02


Nope, not in any of our local schools.

Goblinchild Tue 18-Mar-14 20:52:07

Dinosaurs ate asparagus?
Who knew? Other than Martorana. smile

Ericaequites Tue 18-Mar-14 20:52:11

In the States, people say how lucky mums are that their children have nice manners. It's a lot of work and saying, "What do you say?" Fathers help also.

stillenacht Tue 18-Mar-14 20:52:14


All the clubs we run as a music dept are free: orchestra, wind band, 3 choirs, string and wind ensembles and a ukulele club... We don't get an extra penny for them either.

CrohnicallyChanging Tue 18-Mar-14 20:59:33

Yes, a lot of schools have after school staff.

They are either staffed by teachers voluntarily, or by parents, or by additional staff.

If you made after school clubs compulsory, so every child had to stay every day, I think the supply of voluntary teachers would dry up or at the very least not be enough. Likewise with parents. Volunteering (as in putting yourself forward) for one afternoon a week is very different to being asked to do it every day for no pay.

So that leaves additional staff. Are these to be qualified teachers, or will unqualified staff do? Who is going to pay for them? School budgets are rather tight, but then if you ask parents to pay for a compulsory club then you are undermining their right to a free education for their child. I imagine that in the real world, schools would hire as many unqualified staff as possible, during the school day as well, spreading the qualified teachers even more thinly. But then if the children aren't being taught by qualified and experienced teachers, standards may well slide, leading to more teaching input being required and an even longer school day... Where would it stop?

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