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to have used the disabled loo?

(171 Posts)
HighwayRat Mon 17-Mar-14 19:23:49

I went to the supermarket earlier and needed a wee, I have ms and scoliosis and have been suffering the last few days with a relapse and back pain so need the rails to lift myself on and off the loo (I use the sink and looroll holder at home so have been managing well) anyway I came out and a woman in a wheelchair was waiting she looked me up and down and said 'you know this is a disabled toilet' I said 'yes' to which she said 'well you dont look disabled' well Im not proud of it but I said 'well you dont look like a twat but here we are' and walked off.

But it got me thinking, I could have used the normal loos - I normally do but today was a bad day - it would have been a lot more awkward but I could have done. I can legitimately use the disabled toilet but should they be left for those with more urgent or obvious mobility/disabilities? How do you deal with people who assume you are fine and just taking the piss using the disabled facilities?

WanderingAway Mon 17-Mar-14 19:26:25

I dont think that you did anything wrong. There is no law from stopping anyone using the disabled toilet. She was just a cheeky cow and I think your response was perfect.

YouTheCat Mon 17-Mar-14 19:27:40

I think it was fair enough to use the disabled loos if you were going to really struggle otherwise.

There are plenty of people entitled to use them who don't use wheelchairs but have those access key things.

WooWooOwl Mon 17-Mar-14 19:29:23

Your response was the perfect way to deal with people who make wrong assumptions.

Sparklingbrook Mon 17-Mar-14 19:30:54

Highway don't even give it another thought. I am a bit shock that a person in a wheelchair would say 'well you don't look disabled' too.

Not sure about the t**t bit mind. I would have ignored.

rootypig Mon 17-Mar-14 19:31:24

YANBU. I have arthritis in my hip that can flare and be agony. likewise I sometimes need the rails / space / time / privacy. I make no apology for it - but I look like a fit, healthy young woman with a sexy limp. people need to realise not all needs and disabilities are immediately visible.

DipMeInChocolate Mon 17-Mar-14 19:32:20


UncleT Mon 17-Mar-14 19:32:23

It's a pity that you didn't shame her by pointing out that she doesn't have an MRI scanner for eyes and can't necessarily see the state of your spine and the pain it causes you. You would have taught her something and she might not be so quick to assume next time. As it is though, she's just going to be left thinking she's rude. On that basis, you were a bit unreasonable, but your reaction is somewhat understandable, if a little abusive.

rootypig Mon 17-Mar-14 19:32:29

OP I also use the loo roll holder at home! grin

DurhamDurham Mon 17-Mar-14 19:32:46

Lots of people don't appear to be disabled, it was very judgemental of that person to have said that to you. Only a small percentage of those classed as having a disability actually use a wheelchair.

UncleT Mon 17-Mar-14 19:32:54

Left thinking *you're rude

badtime Mon 17-Mar-14 19:37:06


You have a disability, and it is not a competition, with only the most disabled worthy of the prize of getting into the toilet.

The woman in the wheelchair was being unreasonable. Nobody can tell just by looking whether someone is disabled or not (as some people use disabled toilets because of MH issues, such as OCD or claustrophobia).

crazy88 Mon 17-Mar-14 19:37:16

I always use the disabled loo, you try squeezing 3 kids and yourself into an ordinary cubicle!

OlympiaFox Mon 17-Mar-14 19:37:26

You temporarily needed the disabled bathroom. Many people have disabilities which aren't visible and they're entitled to use the facilities they need without explaining their medical issues with nosy, assuming, judgemental strangers.

ywnbu, she was being a 'twat'.

UnicornCrisps Mon 17-Mar-14 19:37:33

Of course YWNBU. The other person was being rude.

badtime Mon 17-Mar-14 19:38:36

I mean nobody can tell just by looking, even with specialist equipment.

Cigarettesandsmirnoff Mon 17-Mar-14 19:39:09

Can see where ths thread is gonna end up! grin

rootypig Mon 17-Mar-14 19:39:14

Ok crazy YABU!

HillyHolbrook Mon 17-Mar-14 19:40:45

I thought they were 'accessible' instead of 'disabled' toilets? I'm not being overly PC, I just mean I thought anyone could use them but they were accessible to wheelchair users?

YWNBU though. The stranger definitely was.

londonrach Mon 17-Mar-14 19:41:09

The lady in the wheelchair was in the wrong. You have no idea of the person leaving the toilet. I have ibs which means when it hits I have to use the toilet now if not 5 mins before. It's awful. I can't tell you of the pain. Anyway when it hits any toilet (even the men's once) is mine!!!! I have used the disabled several times. No one judged so far. You needed to use it. Xxxx

Fairylea Mon 17-Mar-14 19:41:38


I wish people didn't make such assumptions. I have kidney problems and if I am having a particularly bad infection I will use the disabled toilet if there is a queue otherwise I will be in chronic pain and possibly literally wee myself. My consultant recommended I use the disabled toilets.

I have no clear obvious disability at all. Several times people have been quite nasty to me when I come out of the toilet. sad

Sparklingbrook Mon 17-Mar-14 19:42:07

This thread will be fine. Nobody will come along and derail it. It must be possible for a disabled loo thread to not turn into a bunfight?

2rebecca Mon 17-Mar-14 19:44:45

They are accessible toilets suitable for disabled people to use as well as non disabled. Our work just has accessable toilets. The rest of us aren't expected to wee in a jug.

rootypig Mon 17-Mar-14 19:48:27

No, but at work you have a body of permanent users so can calibrate iyswim. In public, disabled loos shouldn't be used by people who have no need of them. Disability often entails a need to use a loo in a hurry in my experience.

Dillydollydaydream Mon 17-Mar-14 19:50:06

Nope. Ywnbu at all.

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