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to feel sad that none of my friends have come to see me in my new job?

(46 Posts)
AlpacaPicnic Mon 17-Mar-14 16:12:47

Its totally a FWP and I suspect I may be riding the joys of PMS but...

I 'lost' my job last year, but got a new one in the ensuing restructure... My last job was in the city centre and my friends would quite often pop in to see me if they were passing. (i do a customer servicing job in a public location so its not weird that it happens)

My new location is further away but not miles and miles... Yet nobody has popped by to see me. Not my best friends who both drive and have weekdays off. Not the people who live nearer or work nearer my new location. Not even my mum or my DH!
I feel a bit lonely and rejected.

I know I am being really silly but I have made the effort to go and visit people in the past and I guess I feel a little bit unimportant...
Someone hand me a grip? And maybe some chocolate?

formerbabe Mon 17-Mar-14 16:14:19

Yabu! How are at work and upset your friends haven't been to see you...I am baffled!

Alibabaandthe40nappies Mon 17-Mar-14 16:15:51

YABU - how weird to even think about going to see people at work!

Surely you see all these people outside of work hours?

usualsuspectt Mon 17-Mar-14 16:16:03

I wouldn't expect people to come and visit me at work.

[hands OP a Mars Bar]

WowserBowser Mon 17-Mar-14 16:16:38

I work in a shop and none of my friends have ever popped in. I'm rather grateful they haven't!

I didn't even know this was a thing.

WorraLiberty Mon 17-Mar-14 16:16:47

What?? People visit their friends and family at work? confused

Why on earth?

Surely that's what leisure time is for?

francesdrake Mon 17-Mar-14 16:16:57

I think unless you're in charge of handing out the free chocolates at Hotel Chocolat, it might be a teeeeeeeny bit U to expect people to detour to see you at work. Most people assume that you're there to... work? And will assume you won't want to be distracted by people popping in to chat, especially if you've just started and want to make a good impression.

get yourself double chocolate on the way home.

amistillsexy Mon 17-Mar-14 16:17:06

You really need to go out at your next break and visit the grip shop (you can get chocolate at the same time grin ). It's never occurred to me to pop on and visit anyone I know at work because...They're meant to be working! I'd be furious, if anyone did it to me, especially in a new job!

CoffeeTea103 Mon 17-Mar-14 16:17:16

Yabvu. I wouldn't even think of visiting someone at work even if I walked right past their office. How weird.

Bowlersarm Mon 17-Mar-14 16:18:40

Unreasonable OP.

Unless you run a visitor centre or something similar?

drinkyourmilk Mon 17-Mar-14 16:18:48

Er. I work as a nanny-so out and about in the community every day. Not once in 20 years have I met with friends. Even if I happen to see someone it's a quick hi, no chatting. I'm at work. So are you. Socialise in your own time!

myitchybeaver Mon 17-Mar-14 16:19:22

OMG! You weirdo...that's the PMS talking Mrs!

Who goes to visit someone at work? For at start you are meant to be at work. I don't think I've ever visited a friend at work. Maybe I am offending people left, right and centre...

What's really going on OP? Do you feel unappreciated/unloved generally?

PublicEnemyNumeroUno Mon 17-Mar-14 16:19:56

YABU you're supposed to be working not socialising

DramaAlpaca Mon 17-Mar-14 16:20:11

To be honest I wouldn't expect friends to come to see me at work & I'd think it a bit odd if they did. I'm speaking as someone who works somewhere it would be easy for friends to pop in, but I'm there to work & not to socialise.

I'm not going to tell you to get a grip, but here's a brew and some flowers to cheer you up.

usualsuspectt Mon 17-Mar-14 16:20:50

My family and friends do sometimes pop in to where I work, but I do work in a cafe.

But I wouldn't care if they didn't.

Zucker Mon 17-Mar-14 16:23:34

Are we now supposed to visit people in work? When did this happen? There aren't enough hours in the week!

HotDogHotDogHotDiggityDog Mon 17-Mar-14 16:24:16

<<hands over chocolate>>

You know you're being unreasonable so there's no need for us to tell you.

I recently started a new job after 12 years in my last role. My work mates were like my family. My first week there I felt so unsettled I cried (at home).

I really miss them all. My new colleagues seem lovely enough but it's not the same. I get moments of loneliness because I don't really know anything about them and they know nothing about me.

I get why you feel shit. You'll settle in soon (and come off your period)

wowfudge Mon 17-Mar-14 16:26:26

Really OP - you are no longer in a convenient city centre location. There's your answer. They are hardly going to use their lunchbreak to pop and see you if they won't have time to eat lunch are they?

If any of my friends turned up where I worked, I'd think it was very odd of them!

leeloo1 Mon 17-Mar-14 16:27:01

Aw, if 'you're in charge of handing out the free chocolates at Hotel Chocolat' I'll be your friend and come visit you!

I can see why you feel you were only visited when it was expedient for them and feel sad.

You should tell them, in a joky way, that you're lonely and would appreciate them stopping by. smile

TheDoctorsNewKidneys Mon 17-Mar-14 16:29:33

YABU. I would never go and see a friend at work unless I was going to that shop anyway.

francesdrake Mon 17-Mar-14 16:39:22

About now would be the ideal time for alpacapicnic to let slip that she's
(a) actually i/c the sample pots at the local STD clinic
(b) on reception at the town police station
(c) a bailiff

AlpacaPicnic Mon 17-Mar-14 16:43:44

Thank you all! I needed to be told, I think blush

Its not that odd for my particular circle of friends to pop in and see each other but I can see how it would be unusual for most people. Due to the various jobs we do and the hours we work, sometimes seeing people at work is the only option. Im not talking about lengthy visits, just five minutes here and there.

But I think it is just me being all hormental! So I'll accept any and all grips, chocolate and cake offered grin

Poppylovescheese Mon 17-Mar-14 16:45:59

Yabvu and frankly abit nuts

TheBody Mon 17-Mar-14 16:47:35

ah you sound sweet op. a tad unbalanced but that's the pmt.

large glass and chocolate and you will be fine. grin wine cake

Topaz25 Mon 17-Mar-14 16:54:08

Personally I wouldn't want people to visit me at work. Your friends might have just popped in when they were passing and it might not have occurred to them to go out of their way to visit. Arrange to meet them outside of work hours, you'll have more fun anyway! A new job is a big change though and I do understand that you miss your old routine, including your friends popping in.

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