Doctors surgery noise

[Discoflame]

In the doctors waiting room at the moment. Quite busy but quiet. There is a boy he's maybe about 6 or 7. He is running round, jumping off chairs, screaming and shouting. His mum is encouraging him to run faster!

Am I being unreasonable to be a bit annoyed by this? People are here cause they are ill and he is shouting and jumping around.

I only have a 1 year old but surely it's not difficult to tell your child to sit down quietly in the doctors? Or AIBU?

Perfectly happy to accept if I'm unreasonable parenting is much harder than I ever thought but I just don't think it's appropriate to be running around here!

[WorraLiberty]

Of course you're not unreasonable and I'm sure you know it

I'm surprised the staff haven't said anything though?

[eggsandwich]

Maybe the child has SN, I know my DS seems very active to some people that don't know him even when he is ill, so for this reason I never judge a book by its cover.

[WorraLiberty]

Yes but SN or not, the Mother encouraging him to run faster is out of order in a Docs surgery.

[AlpacaLypse]

Our surgery used to have a children's area, with one of those tables with a bead wire maze, a few toys and books. For reasons apparently of hygiene, it was removed, since when it's been hell on wheels in there.

They took all the adult magazines etc at the same time, the only thing to read is their own in-house newsletter - unless you're in the know and bring something yourself.

[Discoflame]

I didn't think I was being unreasonable but I'm learning this parenting thing isn't easy so didn't want to judge right away!

He could have special needs I guess. But wouldn't you at least try to keep him still and quiet? Instead of encouraging him to run and jump?

Staff are in a different room behind the desk I guess they don't hear.

[Normalisavariantofcrazy]

SN or not the mum needs to get her child under control and stop encouraging him

The surgery staff should, by now, be threatening to throw them out if they don't calm down

[shouldnthavesaid]

SN or not she shouldn't be encouraging him - speaking as someone who had to accompany autistic sister to see a psychiatrist in a room attached to ward full of elderly people at 9am - she shouted, screamed, stamped and swore but I did everything I could to calm her out of consideration for others. No excuse for encouraging him.

In the event that he has SN anyway it's not uncommon for patients to be taken in early if they are very distressed. With above appt Dsis was taken in early and have had this with other appointments too.

Mum needs to stop encouraging him, and if there other issues she needs to talk to reception and see about going in early or at least, sitting in a quiet separate room if possible.

[TheBody]

I bet he's delightful at school.

shouldn't think for a moment he has sn. those parents are usually fully engaged with their children from long experience at handling their behaviour.

I would be inclined to tell him to calm down yourself.

[Discoflame]

Thankfully I was taken for my appointment on time for a change so didn't have to wait much longer with them on waiting room. Feel sorry for people who were actually ill, that'd be the last thing I'd need! (I was just in for quick check)

[JillB69]

I looked up 'noisy children in doctors' surgeries' and was led to this thread. I am 69 years old, have a heart condition, and was in the emergency queue at my GP Practice because I was experiencing a constant ache in my back round my kidneys, severe pain in my jaw and neck, both shoulders and shoulder blades. I'd slept very badly the previous two nights, and was feeling exhausted, unwell and vulnerable. A mother came in with three small boys. I would put them at 6, 4 and 2. She told the receptionist that they all had a fever and a rash. She was given a number and told to wait in the small,crowded area outside the waiting room until the surgery was officially open. She was joined shortly afterwards by the children's grandmother, who I assumed was the mother's mother. Immediately the children began to run up and down in the restricted space between about 12 adults queuing round the walls, bashing repeatedly up against the doors at either end and shouting and screaming at each other. They didn't seem very ill it has to be said. I have never seen supposedly sick children so full of energy. After about ten minutes of deafening shrieks and running round,the inevitable happened and the oldest crashed into the youngest who fell to the floor and started crying. The oldest stepped backwards into me, coming down hard on the side of my foot. It hurt. There was nowhere for me to go to avoid him. There was no apology from the child or the adults. The mother picked the youngest up. After the briefest pause the other two continued to race around. I said, quietly, that it might be an idea to stop the children running round to avoid the same thing happening again. I was challenged by the mother who demanded, 'What did you say?' I told her and added that people usually come to the surgery becasue they are not feeling well. The children running round in such a tiny space could not be helping. I was attacked verbally by the grandmother who I would put at about fifty. 'You stupid woman. These children are not well. This is why they are here. You were like them once. You should be more caring about little children.' Again quietly I said that I could promise her that I had never been like these children. I didn't add that this was because it was instilled into me by my parents that a shared public space is not home. The space belongs equally to many people. Most parents used to think it important to make children understand this and to respect the space accordingly. However, the grandmother attacked me again,verbally, and must have called me a silly woman about half a dozen times and went on and on, clearly trying to pick a fight. I had not meant for one minute to provoke this kind of response. I was much too exhausted to cope. This was naive of me possibly. And equally naive perhaps, I'd expected instead a sympathetic, empathetic apology. It was an upsetting experience and I am still recovering from the abusive verbal attack from the older woman who I genuinely expected would see my point. I would welcome your views.

[Poole5]

Why didn't you let the receptionist know what was happening Jill?

[Trifleorbust]

She should take him outside if she can't be bothered making any effort to quiet him. A doctor's surgery is not the place for him to run round shouting, SN or not.

[Lorelei76]

Jill I hope you're feeling better

sorry you had this experience. If I'd been in the waiting area I'd have stepped in as i'm that type!

I have once had an incident where there were so many noisy kids in the reception area, I asked the receptionist if there was somewhere else I could wait (I was very unwell and had an emergency appointment). She said, sorry there isn't - but then promptly made an announcement to the room that there were sick people around and could everyone keep the noise down.

We have toys in our waiting room, I actually wish they'd take them away because it makes the problem worse I think. Plus I shudder to think how many germs get spread that way...? The touchscreen sign in puzzles me for the same reason (I don't use it).

[mindthegap01]

Jill no, YANBU, and I say that as the parent of young children. If you know you're going to have a wait in a confined space then you bring them something to do. Colouring, games, tablet, whatever.

In your situation I would have spoken to the receptionist.

Yabu to be judging whether the children were ill though.

[harderandharder2breathe]

Yanbu Jill

Some children do seem to have endless energy even when they're ill. But the adults with them should have been at least trying to make them behave.

[Heatherjayne1972]

I have 2 boys who just don't do being still anywhere ever. It's never ending and very wearing
Reading and colouring lasts about 10 seconds
So in many ways I can sympathise with the parents - it's very easy to say you 'wouldn't allow it ' but in reality it's very hard behaviour to curb especially when they're bored and/or tired
Don't judge unless you've been there
( our GP doesn't allow you to leave the waiting room after you've checked in)

[LarrytheCucumber]

I was at the eye clinic the other day and a mother was there with a child in a pushchair and an older child. The child in the pushchair cried furiously for over 20 minutes. The mother did nothing. And nobody said anything, presumably for fear of a experience like Jill's. By the time I was called in I was really upset for the poor child, whose mother didn't even push him backwards and forwards, and whose only interaction with him was to tell him to be quiet. I still don't know whether I should have said something to her.

[Imfinehowareyou]

Strangely you've made me feel better! I have had to drive a lame DH (!) to the drs two days in a row. I have spent the whole time shushing/moaning/furiously whispering at my DDs and telling them that NO ONE wants to hear them. Thought I might be being OTT but glad to know I wasn't!

[LarrytheCucumber]

Imfine in the same waiting room another family had a fractious child, but the mother talked to her, cuddled her, and eventually the father took her for a walk. I think most people understand that children are children, but the way the parents react makes the difference, and teaching them to think of others is really important.

[Spikeyball]

I only take my child to the doctors when they are very unwell which means they can be shrieky and generally very upset. They are 'contained' and not allowed to run around but what I can do about the noise is limited. I would love to be able to wait somewhere else with them because they would be happier not in a room full of people but there is nowhere else.

[Poole5]

in reality it's very hard behaviour to curb especially when they're bored and/or tired

Then you need to find a way no matter how difficult it is otherwise how are they going to learn?

[EwanWhosearmy]

in reality it's very hard behaviour to curb especially when they're bored and/or tired

You don't mention how old your DC are. I had 4, with 5 1/2 years between first and last, and DC3 has ADHD, but there was no way they would have misbehaved in a waiting room. I can't believe you can't control 2.