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AIBU?

To think this mother should not have been arrested?

258 replies

KeinBock · 17/03/2014 15:02

Apologies if this has been posted before, but this story is just so heartbreaking. The baby is seemingly being adopted against her mother's wishes. Surely any mother would kidnap their own child to prevent this from happening?

OP posts:

Report

Hendricksandcucumber · 17/03/2014 15:07

YABU, we don't know why her DD was in care in the first place. Would you feel the same way if it emerged that the baby had suffered non accidental injuries? Say cigarette burns or broken ribs and social services as the police know the mother caused them.

QueenofallIsee · 17/03/2014 15:09

Her child has been removed from her presumably because she is at risk - we have no idea why or whether its right or wrong but lets remember that for every story about social workers being 'child snatchers' and willfully breaking up families, there are 1000's of children at risk who should and are being protected.

So YABU if you assume just cos she a Mum she is a good one and SS are wrong. If not arrest then what?

Anniecarrieson · 17/03/2014 15:10

Of course it is right she was arrested.
She took the child from a foster placement, without authorisation.
That is kidnap.
The child would not be being placed for adoption without reason.
The assessments of the authorities must have been that the child was not safe with her.

AlpacaLypse · 17/03/2014 15:10

It's in the Daily Mail. So very large pinch of salt needed.

I'm so grateful that the hoverer thing on the mouse tells you what the link is before you click it!

NurseyWursey · 17/03/2014 15:10

Social Services don't take children away willy nilly. Something must have been going on.

ShatnersBassoon · 17/03/2014 15:11

YABU. We don't know the background.

wobblyweebles · 17/03/2014 15:11

Without knowing why the baby was taken away from her it's impossible to say.

AgaPanthers · 17/03/2014 15:11

YABVU to believe Daily Mail bollocks.

Alambil · 17/03/2014 15:11

Social Care do not take children into foster care without a LOT of work going on beforehand, unless the child is at immediate risk of significant harm.

Social Care do not make these decisions without putting in a lot of man hours and meetings (with the parents / family) before the decision to use foster care happens, unless the child is at immediate risk of significant harm.

Social Care are not ogres.

What if she'd been kidnapped from care and taken back to the family where the alleged DV took place (it's in the piece that this is why the child is under a care order); what if something happened to the baby? would you say "surely any mother should keep her child in care if the bf was so dangerous" ?

It's heartbreaking that the baby's had such a rough start in life; not that they are a looked after child (which is a decision that takes MONTHS and months... not hours (unless the child is at risk of immediate significant harm)

rubyslippers · 17/03/2014 15:12

The baby was taken from her mum at a few months old because of a violent relationship with the father

I assume that if the child is being adopted the mum has not taken steps to make it a safe environment for her baby

CoffeeTea103 · 17/03/2014 15:12

Yabu to assume just because she is a mother that ss is automatically wrong. Children placed in care means there were other serious issues going on.

justwantitmadeforme · 17/03/2014 15:12

YABVU.

I'd take these stories with a huge pinch of salt, totally one sided.

HotDogHotDogHotDiggityDog · 17/03/2014 15:14

I wish people would stop taking everything the DM says in their articles as the truth.

Social services were involved since the birth of the child. They had concerns about the mother and her family, then later concerns about the mother and fathers relationship. We don't know enough to even comment on this really.

Typical of the DM to mention they mothers occupation. Even if it was true, are they saying that automatically means that anyone who does that job is a feckless, neglectful parent?

Twats

KeinBock · 17/03/2014 15:14

This link has more information.

The babies grandfather is quoted:
"She had her baby taken away from her nine months ago and she has seen her three times a week since.

"But then when social services told her she was up for adoption she was desperate. She didn't think she would see her again and no one was listening to her."

OP posts:

TheBody · 17/03/2014 15:15

there's always a huge back story to these things. don't belive anything you read in newspapers op but definatly not in the daily mail.

SilverOldie · 17/03/2014 15:15

As others have said, Social Services don't remove a child from its mother without good reason. Of course she should be arrested.

Alambil · 17/03/2014 15:16

and?

it's not as though adoption is a sudden decision... she's been a LAC for 9 months; there would have been many, many meetings and sessions to evaluate parenting capacity and all sorts of other things.

Do you even know how Social Care work?

HotDogHotDogHotDiggityDog · 17/03/2014 15:17

Look, a lot of parents still love their children when they are taken into care. It doesn't mean that they can look after them and keep them safe though

HotDogHotDogHotDiggityDog · 17/03/2014 15:20

OP, are you looking for a Social services bashing discussion?

I think you can do that on the DM website. Knock yourself out.....

caruthers · 17/03/2014 15:22

Of course she should have been arrested.

As others have said there has to be more to this story than just a knee jerk reaction.

MamaPain · 17/03/2014 15:22

I would presume there is a reason, although I don't think outright trust in social services is a good thing.

Regardless of how justified social services are, I still have a massive amount of sympathy for someone who is having their baby adopted against their will. It doesn't seem fair to me that such a permanent decision can be made in such a short amount of time.

Poor girl, a violent relationship and the removal of her child. If she had posted on mn people would be sympathising.

KeinBock · 17/03/2014 15:24

Well it would appear that IABU and overly sentimental in sympathising with this girl. Whether she is a capable parent or not, she is clearly utterly distraught at the prospect of being permanently separated from the child she loves.

I know very little of social services, or how they operate. I was simply empathising with someone in a very difficult and tragic situation. I cannot see what charging her with kidnap will achieve.

OP posts:

HotDogHotDogHotDiggityDog · 17/03/2014 15:25

This isn't about sympathy for the mother. It's about the DM printing these articles without facts just to get people frothing.

Of course they shouldn't print confidential information regarding these cases, so they shouldn't print them at all unless it was proven that social services failed the family.

There is no proof of that is there?

KeinBock · 17/03/2014 15:26

Thanks, MamaPain

HotDog, I have no axe to grind with social services, as said, I know very little about their procedures

OP posts:

AgaPanthers · 17/03/2014 15:27

Had a quick look through her Facebook(s), alarming number of references to casual violence and binge drinking.

I'm sure she's a fantastic mother though.

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