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AIBU?

Show them this thread! is the worst fucking advice.

18 replies

YouStayClassySanDiego · 16/03/2014 19:18

To all of the well meaning people who actually think it's good advice.

It isn't!

It's terrible, think about the conversation that precedes the actual presentation of the online chat, you'll look like a twat.

Don't do it.

AIBU?

OP posts:

Report

LegoCaltrops · 16/03/2014 19:21

YANBU. As, aside from anything else, you're giving away your nn to whoever you show the thread to. (Unless thread was started on a nc.)

MuttonCadet · 16/03/2014 19:21

YANBU, but perhaps show a few people in real life and see what they think?

LouiseAderyn · 16/03/2014 19:26

Mostly yanbu. But I have shown dh a thread I started, when I wanted him to know exactly how I was feeling and to hear the opinions of others. It was a valuable thing to do for us at that time, with our specific situation, on the whole I think it's best not to share other people's very blunt pov if you hope to have an amicable resolution to a dispute.

LouiseAderyn · 16/03/2014 19:27

meant to add that I name changed for that particular thread.

EverythingsDozy · 16/03/2014 19:27

If I was the recipient of such a thread, I'd be quite upset that my friend had made an online thread all about me.

GimmeDaBoobehz · 16/03/2014 19:28

It depends.

My abusive husband does so and so - definitely don't show the thread.

My friend has been saying nasty things about me behind my back - probably best not to show.

My friend feels like nobody cares about her / my friend has had a bereavement - might actually be nice to see how much strangers care so I'd say show the thread.

YouStayClassySanDiego · 16/03/2014 19:35

It's the conversation that leads to the thread that I don't understand.

Who actually says ti the husband/ friend/ sister/ brother 'I've discussed this online and they all agree .......' and here is the proof I'm right?.

Really?

OP posts:

CatOfTheDay · 16/03/2014 19:56

I posted a thread here once and it was unanimous that DP was being unreasonable and not me - so I showed him that one!

And then stuck my tongue out at him.

DietCokeMultipackCan · 16/03/2014 20:00

Yanbu.

I don't really know how to explain Mumsnet to people in real life. If I mention something I read on here I generally just say "I read somewhere the other day" or "my internet friend said..."

I feel awkward now.

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici · 16/03/2014 20:01

it depends. it can be useless and downright dangerous. I want to scream nooooooooooooooo for god sake no... when I read advice to an abused woman that she should show her abuser that she has been talking about him online and a group of strangers think hes a bastard.
there is no way in hell thats likely to end well for her.

but like someone said, showing someone of support for their situation, etc can be a nice thing.

and lighthearted sharing is risk free.

softlysoftly · 16/03/2014 20:01

YANBU I think this every time.

May as well type "show them this thread and they will think you are an absolute insane no life spunk monkey, forever"

My favourites are "show your GP this thread", yeah cause they'd love You for that almost as much as they love the patients who come in clutching the daily mail convinced their heart medication / calpol / beetroot juice will kill / cure them.

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici · 16/03/2014 20:03

oh, re the 'here is the online proof I am right...'
I do that.
or at least I would do that, if you bunch of buggers didnt normally agree with my bloody husband that I, in fact, am the unreasonable one.

ScarlettOHaraHamilton · 16/03/2014 20:05

Bit of both. If it's a lighthearted "DH says this, he's wrong, isn't he?" and he knows you're on MN, no harm done. And sometimes when people are struggling with anxieties or MH issues then I do agree that showing a professional the thread might be useful, as in it has the OP's thoughts written down and they might find it easier than trying to talk.

But in 99% of cases - good god, no. It would be a disaster.

DracuLaura · 16/03/2014 20:06

YANBU it is terrible advice.

CoffeeTea103 · 17/03/2014 07:20

Yanbu, i wouldn't because, the first thing I would think is why would I care about people's opinion who don't even know me.

ComposHat · 17/03/2014 11:50

My response to being shown an AIBU saying what a useless arse I was would be: 'well done by putting your brief, one sided and partial account of our relationship online you have succeeded in getting 28 anonymous strangers who have no stake in our lives to agree with you. I should be bothered by this because. ..?'

Gen35 · 17/03/2014 11:56

I agree, you can gain info on mn but unless really uncontroversial it's more likely to cause trouble than not..

tiaramasu · 17/03/2014 11:59

Who cares what you look like if it solves the problem.
admits to not having thought this through thoroughly though.

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