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Petty but I am irritated!

(11 Posts)
Sparklysilversequins Sun 16-Mar-14 09:58:57

Last term dd had a few issues with a classmate. This child was taking dd's cake out of her packed lunch each day when dd wasn't looking. She always ensured she was sitting next to dd and would whip it right from under her nose! Dd just thought I had stopped putting it in.

When I became aware of this I spoke to class teacher who out a stop to it. The child's mother insisted that both children had agreed to "share". Not true, dd has ASD and very straight forward, if they'd agreed to share that's what dd would have said.

Since then this child makes comments too dd from her mother eg dd has a bad diet with too much sugar. Dd's packed lunch consists of a wholemeal sandwich, three pieces of fruit or salad water and a small piece of cake or muffin. Her diet is quite restricted because of her ASD and I just want to get calories in her during the day and actually I think that's a pretty healthy lunch anyway!!

I won't but I feel like telling this "mum" to butt out and stop making comments about dd's lunch or find a way to work into convo that dd has ASD and restrictive diet etc followed by so butt out and MYOB I would also like to say perhaps you don't feed your child ENOUGH sugar and that is why she's pinching dd's cake

Anyway as I said petty but annoying as dd is worrying about it as she is highly anxious.

Would you say anything?

formerbabe Sun 16-Mar-14 10:01:21

Yes say something.

Of course, children should learn to share, but not with their lunch! I give my ds his packed lunch with the intention it is all for him...likewise, I wouldn't expect his friends to share their lunch with him. Its really weird.

whattoWHO Sun 16-Mar-14 10:06:00

Can you talk to the mother directly and tackle it as though you are asking for a favour?

"Hi x. Can I ask a favor? Your DD is obviously going through a phase of being aware of healthy eating options, but her comments are a little unsettling for my DD.my DD has a restrictive diet so would you mind asking your DD to keep her comments about others' eating habits yo herself?

Mind you, from what you've written I suspect the other mum doesn't see the needs, opinions or views of other people as anything she needs yo be conscious of!

Icimoi Sun 16-Mar-14 10:06:36

How does the other mother know what lunches your dd has? Does she interrogate her daughter on it? They both seem a bit fixated.

Sparklysilversequins Sun 16-Mar-14 10:08:55

Because of the pinching cake issue. She knows that dd has a piece or muffin each day as her child was taking it daily for about ten days before dd asked me why she didn't get any cake for lunch anymore.

Nomama Sun 16-Mar-14 10:26:27

Discuss it with the teacher again. Ask her to keep a closer eye on the situation for a while.

And yes, if you happen to be standing next to the mum, do have a word. Stay calm, but state very clearly that you are in no way impressed with her actions and that you are disappointed that she has chosen to facilitate her child's thieving and lying... OK, phrase that a bot more politely the first time.

Why should you be so stoic and polite? Make a noise, feel no embarrassment.... and make sure your child gets her cake and eats it!

onedev Sun 16-Mar-14 10:43:07

If that were my child, I would consider that a big issue, not petty at all. I'd definitely speak to the teacher again & also say something very direct & to the point to the other mum also. No way would I stand for that at all. Definitely not on.

Ber2291 Sun 16-Mar-14 10:57:01

Possibility that the other mum is calling your child's lunch unhealthy because her own child is complaining and asking for cake saying 'but so and so gets cake in their lunc' etc. I can imagine I might say something like 'oh we don't want to eat cake every day it's not very good for us' without intending that my child would relay it to the other child. (Not knocking your child's packed lunch but if I let my DS have cake every day he wouldn't bother eating his main :-). obviously the stealing of cake is another matter and not on at all.

Although I do think worth saying something if making DD anxious of course. Just maybe not be super pissed off about it.

saulaboutme Sun 16-Mar-14 12:08:12

Yes day something to the mother. Your Childs lunch isn't her or her Childs business!

I had to deal with ds and his friend. Friend was constantly making comments on his lunch and turned into the lunch police.

I told him in front if his mum to stay out of ds lunchbox. .
He stopped but.he was jealous of ds food.

Sorry typos.

Fairenuff Sun 16-Mar-14 12:15:45

Don't speak to the mother. This is all secondhand anyway, from one little girl to another. Speak to the teacher instead. This is really easily solved, just explain the situation and ask the teacher to sit your dd away from the other girl at lunchtime.

crazy88 Sun 16-Mar-14 12:19:15

Do they have to sit together at lunchtime? Can you ask that they sit apart on the grounds that this child is taking food off your dd and upsetting her?

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