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To be annoyed at friend cancelling on me?

(14 Posts)
Ojoloco Sun 16-Mar-14 06:18:44

This is my first ever post although I've lurked for ages. I had plans to meet up with a close friend today. She's 33 weeks pregnant with first baby, I'm currently on mat leave with a 6 month old and 2.5 yr old. I've barely had anytime on my own since baby was born and was really looking forward to meeting up with friend for a child free catch-up! She texted me at 11.30 this morning to say she'd just woken up and wanted to spend all day in bed and would have to cancel our plans (tired not ill). I'm feeling really frustrated, she did exactly the same thing three weeks ago. I really wanted to see her and also really wanted some time without the DCs. I'm just finding it a bit suffocating sometimes. And now the weekend is over (not in UK) and am looking at another week of pretty much 24/7 with the DCs. It's just relentless sometimes and I was really feeling I needed the break this weekend. I do understand pregnancy tiredness but I'm actually really annoyed with her esp as I have mentioned to her before how I've been feeling but am also pissed off that she canceled so late that i couldn't organise to do anything else. AIBU?

MusicalEndorphins Sun 16-Mar-14 06:31:19

No, you are not being unreasonable to be disappointed. It is a shame you were really looking forward to the visit, but she must be really exhausted to cancel. I hope you can have nice day out soon.

IceNoSlice Sun 16-Mar-14 06:43:03

Could you not have still had the time without the DCs? I assume your OH or whoever was babysitting was still available - could you have gone for a run, a walk, shopping, a coffee etc?

YANBU at flakey friend BTW. Though if she has form for this, I would be considering not arranging one-on-one things with her again.

RealHousewivesofNorwich Sun 16-Mar-14 06:43:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Slapperati Sun 16-Mar-14 06:49:41

It's not her fault you are desperate for some child free time. Why didn't you just go out for the day anyway?

Slapperati Sun 16-Mar-14 06:50:37

PS your friend is 33 weeks pregnant, she's allowed to be unexpectedly tired.

Chottie Sun 16-Mar-14 06:52:30

I would definitely use the time to do something for me smile

How about a massage or the hairdressers or a swim?

I agree with RHON next time arrange a group meet up.

There seems to be a flurry of posts about flakey friends recently, what is it with all these people?!?

Regarding the rest of the week, are there any clubs or activities you could go to with DC so at least you are all out and about?

Ojoloco Sun 16-Mar-14 07:18:13

Thanks for your replies. I know I could have done something by myself but was really looking forward to seeing her and having an adult conversation without interruptions! I wasn't actually in the right headspace to go off by myself, was actually really needing to see a friend and have the opportunity to talk if you know what I mean? And I do understand pregnancy tiredness, have experienced it twice myself! (Looking after a toddler and baby who wakes 3x a night is pretty exhausting too) but doesn't help that she told me she was at a party yesterday so am kind of feeling a bit rejected that she'd rather have a lazy day than see me. And our plans were basically for me to go to her house and drink cups of tea, nothing overly strenuous. I did call another friend when she cancelled but friend 2 was busy. Obviously I just have to get over it, but am just frustrated at the late notice and the fact that she's done it 2x in such a short space of time esp when she knows I'm finding things a bit tough - we have no family around

Ojoloco Sun 16-Mar-14 07:24:53

Chottie - did manage a short swim (first time in 2 years) and it was really good!
And I should say she does have form for this, I wouldn't be so annoyed if it was a one off. I really value her friendship, been friends for 15 years, which is why I'm feeling hurt I think

SometimesLonely Sun 16-Mar-14 07:34:31

I'm currently on mat leave with a 6 month old and 2.5 yr old. I've barely had anytime on my own since baby was born

Isn't this what life is like when you have small children? Didn't you know?

Blondeshavemorefun Sun 16-Mar-14 07:40:51

Seems Like you need to meet more mums/friends and get out more - take advantage of dh having kids esp if you feel having them 24/7 is a bit much

RedFocus Sun 16-Mar-14 07:51:34

If she has form for it then why did you pin all your hopes on it?
Just don't bother making any further plans with her and make plans to see another friend next weekend.

Ojoloco Sun 16-Mar-14 07:59:27

RedFocus - we spoke on friday night and made plans so I really didn't expect her to cancel again!
Anyway I prob am being unreasonable, it helped to get my thoughts out instead of voicing them to her and regretting it!
Thanks for your (mostly) lovely replies smile

Chottie Sun 16-Mar-14 15:05:14

Ojoloco - you've had some quite tough replies to your post smile

I'm glad you enjoyed your swim and I hope this week goes will for you and your family.

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