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to bother with trying anymore?

(11 Posts)

We moved last year from v. small village to nearest large town which is 15 miles away. I had a group of 'friends' there (in same village and next small town) who I met when DD was born and we all did various groups and classes and meals out etc when our DCs were small.

Most of the DCs including mine attended the same nursery school, from when I went back to work after mat leave until we moved. My DD is 5 so we have all been 'friends' for the best part of 5.5yrs.

Since we moved I have tried to keep in touch, via facebook, sending a couple of new baby/you have moved cards etc when relevant and I even invited all of the DCs to my daughters last birthday - 8 children - only 1 turned up sad The majority are always saying that we should meet up for coffee or soft play etc but it never seems to happen (and not for the lack of me trying - it is hard to make new friends).

So, should I just give up trying and attempt to find some other friends?

TwittyMcTwitterson Sat 15-Mar-14 15:26:20

You should make friends in your new area, regardless. Then perhaps you won't notice their lack of effort so much.

I'd still put a small amount of effort in but it really does sound like it may have flown it's course hmm

Something similar happened to me when we moved from Essex to Scotland. Obviously I don't expect my friends to travel,hundreds of miles to visit all the time - but the odd phone call would have been nice! I sometimes feel as if I ceased to exist for them as soon as the removal lorry left our old street! It is hurtful, and I wish I had some good advice for you - but you aren't being unreasonable to feel hurt.

I am seriously introvert and it's taken me over a year to have a proper normal relationship with my closest work colleague so I don't hold much hope! I do speak to some mums at school but we're 'new' and most of them their kids have come through nursery together.

Nice to know IANBU though

Can you find a hobby where you'd get out and meet people? When we moved, I found an art class to join, and through people,I met there, I've also joined a choir, a knitting group and a felt making group, and that's how I made friends. Obviously, as a SAHM, I do have more time on my hands to do stuff like this, but maybe you could find something one evening a week - a book group, maybe?

A book group does sound good actually smile I will need to have a look and see what I can find - I always thought I was fine being alone bit obviously not if I can still feel hurt iykwim?

TwittyMcTwitterson Sat 15-Mar-14 17:10:38

It is very hard to make new friends. I only have a few were I live, and they are because one very extrovert girl took me in and introduced me to her friends, so I know exactly how hard it is. I'd be a lost cause myself.

Generally, it's a lot easier once you're in the mothers club because you just talk to other mothers.

I'm sure you're lovely so work on a braver you that asks people to coffee etc. grin what's the worst that can happen?

RedFocus Sat 15-Mar-14 17:27:26

Make new friends. However much they may want to meet up things will always get in the way and out of sight out of mind always happens when you move away.

Going to see what I can find to do and get out there and make some friends grin

TwittyMcTwitterson Sat 15-Mar-14 19:36:15

Isn't there a thing on here about meets? My friend went to one here in Northampton and said it was through mumsnet. She recommended me to here wink

There is nothing on my mn local unfortunately. sad

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