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was I unreasonable to have these pics removed?

(100 Posts)
realitygone Sat 15-Mar-14 07:07:52

A family member who we are no contact with placed two happy birthday notices in the local newspaper / online these adds had their pictures, full dob and full name on.

I have had the paper remove them, anyone can view them and it makes them very identifiable and it scares the hell Out of me when the view count said 20! 20 people looked at my children without my permission

I don't thini I over reacted, however wondered if anyone thinks this is ok to do?.

HolidayCriminal Sat 15-Mar-14 08:22:33


ginmakesitallok Sat 15-Mar-14 08:24:57

What do you think is going to happen as a result of your children's pictures being in the paper????

Hundreds of people look at your children without your permission every day.


FunkyBoldRibena Sat 15-Mar-14 08:25:44

As we don't know the back story - nobody knows if you were being unreasonable or not.


BillyBanter Sat 15-Mar-14 08:30:58

It does seem to me a weird thing to do. Is it quite common in local papers for people to do this?

If you are NC because they are toxic then this is a sort of harassment though from their point of view its probably their way of showing the world how much they love them despite NC. Or to give the impression that everything is fine and hide the fact they have been excluded from your Children's lives.

JumpingJackSprat Sat 15-Mar-14 09:32:56

Nobody needs to know the circumstances of why she is nc with this person you're all just being bloody nosy. Fact is she has her reasons so no op yanbu.

PuppyMonkey Sat 15-Mar-14 09:36:08

Maybe the kids are on an undercover mission with MI5?

gamerchick Sat 15-Mar-14 09:39:57

I don't think I would have been comfortable with it either... For reasons I can't quite put my finger on.

They're gone now.. try not to stress about it.

formerbabe Sat 15-Mar-14 09:41:35

I can't believe anyone thinks this is OK. I think its outrageous and would be fuming.


Martorana Sat 15-Mar-14 09:42:25

"Nobody needs to know the circumstances of why she is nc with this person you're all just being bloody nosy. Fact is she has her reasons so no op yanbu."

But they might be unreasonable reasons.

Martorana Sat 15-Mar-14 09:43:03

why, formerbabe? What possible harm could it do?

Joules68 Sat 15-Mar-14 09:45:18

What does the other parent in all this think?

formerbabe Sat 15-Mar-14 09:47:35

Because it is strange behaviour to print photos of someone else's children in a newspaper.

Whether it can cause harm or not, is not the issue. It is a privacy issue.

cloggal Sat 15-Mar-14 09:50:11

But Martorana, that's a separate AIBU.

We know that there is no contact between OP and dc with these relatives. So we can only judge the AIBU on the fact that people who are essentially strangers to this child have done this, regardless of backstory.
Some still think it's a harmless gesture, some will see it as potentially harassing.

Agree with JumpingJackSprat.

formerbabe Sat 15-Mar-14 09:50:30

I'm not sure of the law but I wonder if it breaks the data protection act?

Figster Sat 15-Mar-14 09:54:00

Genuinely don't know if yabu as there's no context

CoffeeTea103 Sat 15-Mar-14 09:57:55

Ffs! Get over yourself. So what, I really don't get what the big deal people make about this issue. It's not like you have the royal baby or something.

WilsonFrickett Sat 15-Mar-14 10:04:27

Presumably you have no contact for a reason, so this is a provocative gesture at some level, in which case YANBU.

However the '20 people looked at my children's photos' is a bit bonkers. As pps have said, people see your children every day.

But as you are nc with whoever did this, yes, overall YANBU.

cloggal Sat 15-Mar-14 10:06:01


HanSolo Sat 15-Mar-14 10:06:09

It is not harmless- if they are no contact it will be for a reason.

They have done this to exert control.

Imagine if those children were adopted, and suddenly people find out their real names, and match them up?

Fifyfomum Sat 15-Mar-14 10:06:57

How did they get the photos if you are NC

cloggal Sat 15-Mar-14 10:07:52

^ dc posted.. And then hit send on my report of the post to MNHQ blush. Agree Wilson smile

HanSolo Sat 15-Mar-14 10:08:07

And yes- it may be damaging if those children decide to be intelligence agents in the future!

grin but quite serious really. We do not know what will happen 10 years hence, and technology moves so fast, this could put them in danger once facial recognition software is of a good standard.

ImASecretTwigletNibbler Sat 15-Mar-14 10:13:41

People's reactions here are odd! If the OP said "someone put a picture of my child on the internet, with full identification details" people would go crazy.... the local paper is no different. Yes, of course realistically, nothing is going to happen but you just don't stick identifying photos up in public these days!

OP, YADNBU! I do think it was probably just a kind gesture from someone who knows nothing about internet safety but I too would take them down. The pictures, not the person who did it smile

kelda Sat 15-Mar-14 10:15:42

YANBU. I would never do that without the parents' permission.

Electryone Sat 15-Mar-14 10:20:26

The op is non- contact with the person who placed the op, presumably for abusive reasons

Thats the problem with assumptions - they can be wrong, we have no idea what the no contact is about. Its odd for sure, but I really don't see what the outrage at your "20 people have viewed my children" comment - so what..what exactly are you worried about will happen to your children now? Hate to tell you but 100s of strangers will see them on a daily basis....

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