To Question What The Hell Went On In This Loo...

[NurseyWursey]

Don't read if you're squeamish with poo

Walked into the Tesco loos, went into a cubicle..

There was poo on the toilet seat, walls and a massive pile in the toilet. But the thing that bothered me most was, there was no toilet roll on top of the poo.

who even does that??

Share your code brown stories if you wish ;)

[MeLovelyNeighbour]

Perhaps they wiped their bum on the toilet seat and walls in disgust at not having any toilet paper (or tissues in their bag!).

Still it's not on really is it! Was the flush not working either?
I hope you left and went in another cubicle...

[MarthasHarbour]

someone in my office did this where i worked in the 90's - it went on for ages, smeared it on the mirror too

they never found out who did it - it was gross - thank god i never witnessed it

[NurseyWursey]

I checked there was ample toilet paper!

I actually decided to hold my wee in and walked out, I was then scared that someone would think I'd done it though

[NurseyWursey]

marthas when I worked elsewhere a disgruntled customer used our toilets and had a poo on the floor. The face of our line manager who had to clear it up was priceless.

[MeLovelyNeighbour]

Yep... that's always the worry... someone sees you come out and they think the mess/smell etc is YOURS!

People are weird. They must have had poo all over their hands! WHY? Don't we all like nice clean hygienic toilets?

[Titsalinabumsquash]

Some people are just gross.

I used to go to a secondary school where some of the girls would;

Eat whilst on the loo

Wipe mental blood on the cubical walls/floors
Stick used tampons and towels to mirrors

Wipe poo all over the cubicles

I walked in several times to a group of girls chatting with one legs akimbo on the toilet having a poo or wee with the door open.

I never understood the need to be a dirty bugger in a public loo, surely they don't do this at home?!

[Ohwhatfuckeryisthis]

We were in hols and dh and bil went in marks' to the loo. Bil nipped in sharpish and desperate dh went in cubicle and almost threw up. Shite everywhere, made the loo in trainspotting look immaculate. He got out quick, had to clench whilst his brother used the other one and used all the bog roll.
Oh how we laughed.

[HellomynameisIcklePickle]

at mental blood!!

[Titsalinabumsquash]

Haha! Mental blood... That was an interesting typo. Darn iPad, I knew I should have gone with period!

[NurseyWursey]

When I first started in healthcare I was a care assistant, I had a favourite mug that went missing.

I found it a couple of days later, down a toilet, with a poo in and on top of it.

[MeLovelyNeighbour]

Yes tampons and mental(!) blood in weird places are equally evil.
Especially when having to take young children into ladies toilets.

I don't understand why you'd want to do that.

[MeLovelyNeighbour]

NurseyWursey.... sorry the mug.... and laughing so much!
Did you retrieve it and use again?

[Sparklingbrook]

Poo in the toilet with no loo roll on the top bothers me. How? Why?

Public toilets you have to enter at your own risk, I tend to hold on til i get home wherever possible.

[NurseyWursey]

melovelyneighbour Sadly no, it was an irony poo (black and sludgy) and chipped :(

That's nothing compared to when we was forced to empty and drag the pond...

we found 12 plates, 36 pieces of cutlery, a pair of glasses, a sock, some dentures, and a brass ornamental horse. No wonder the fish had died.

[maillotjaune]

Alley way at back of work from a major road in C London, near junction where the tube is. The alley is used by cars for parking / rubbish truck, not just pedestrians.

Walking into work. Spot a pair of pants - with large poo still inside - sitting on the ground against the wall.

I can still see them in the same spot [in my mind] every time I walk up there. Was years ago.

[NurseyWursey]

Oh dear god hahhahaha!

[HazeltheMcWitch]

Arf - at first I read 'irony poo' as a sort of ironic one...

[NurseyWursey]

Sorry that's my spelling hazel I'm not sure iron-ey is a word ha

[HazeltheMcWitch]

I used to work in a supermarket, and there was a pair of shoppers who used to come in together or separately and were known for their dirty protests. At what, we were never sure.

Readers, they were banned from every Safeway n the land!
However, they still came in and tried to do their weekly shop'n'shit.

[Burren]

Women used to eat in the loo cubicles during Ramadan when I was living in the UAE. I would be jigging from one leg to another in a shopping mall loo, listening to rustles and chewing from within.

I never stuck around long enough to figure out whether the secret eaters were Muslims surreptitiously breaking their Ramadan fast, or non-Muslims whose strict workplaces wouldn't allow them a set-aside room to have lunch in, away from fasting colleagues...

(Mind you, eating out there during the daytime in Ramadan always felt like a big sin, anyway. I had breakfast once in a hotel where I was staying in a section of dining room closed off by floor-to-ceiling black curtains, feeling as if every mouthful of toast made a deafening crunch...)

[MeLovelyNeighbour]

A chipped poo? Or was that the mug? Surely clean in a dishwasher, especially if your favourite... or perhaps every time you bought favourite mug to your lips you'd imagine BIG IRONY POO!

[NurseyWursey]

a shop and shit

Oh the mug had a big chip in it. I tracked down the perpetrator of the mug-poo but he wasn't a bit sorry...

I have my coffee black... it would have never been the same!

[automisc]

I live in a block of flats on a main road. On several occasions someone has taken a shat in our car park against the wall.

[NurseyWursey]

I woke up to two pissheads having a slanging match outside my apartment a few months ago

'YOU SCRUFF WHAT ARE YOU DOIN HAVIN A PISS ON THEIR DOORSTEP'

'YOU BASTARD AM PREGNANT'

'YOUR NOT PREGNANT U STUPID COW YOUR 67'

Well. It's not cricket is it.

[MeLovelyNeighbour]

For some reason I find this thread amusing - a light topic for a Friday night. Why would someone take a poo against a wall - very messy! Do they leave tissues close to the poo? Did they wipe their bum?