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to be annoyed that dp wants a takeaway?

(115 Posts)
nw0401 Fri 14-Mar-14 17:47:25

so im in the middle of cooking tea (honey glazed gammon) and dp has just woke up, come in the kitchen and said he wants a takeaway. I told him ive got gammon on and he said I can have that, him and ds1 will have a takeaway - so I threw a strop! AIBU to be utterly pissed off with him?!

Casmama Fri 14-Mar-14 18:20:33

No wonder he can't sleep at night if he has a nap after work!
Sounds like you are living with a man-child.

BellaOfTheBalls Fri 14-Mar-14 18:21:11

YANBU, my DH does this to me too and it drives me INSANE. I do all the cooking and cook from scratch 6-7 nights . I'll say "it's x for dinner" and sometime around 4-5pm when it's already made or the meat for it is defrosted and there is not time to organise an alternative he'll announce he doesn't fancy that. So the options are see what we have that cooks from frozen (usually nothing), allow him to sort himself out (he will cook enough to feed four people, eating barely half and then the rest is wasted) or get takeaway (expensive). He doesn't realise how frustrating it is because he doesn't organise meal plan, food shopping, cooking.

I have no real advice, but a huge amount of sympathy!

my2puddings Fri 14-Mar-14 18:27:00

casmama ive tried telling him that but to be fair at wkends he doesnt 'nap' and still cant sleep at night

my2puddings Fri 14-Mar-14 18:29:15

thanks Bella - at least im not alone!

MoominMammasHandbag Fri 14-Mar-14 18:34:02

Well the day DP rejected my lovely home cooking in favour of a takeaway would be the last day I ever cooked for him.

Massively disrespectful of your time and effort. What is he teaching your son? He sounds like a spoilt child.

my2puddings Fri 14-Mar-14 18:34:33

thought I might have been being unreasonable having a strop - hence the post. how do men always manage to make things seem like the womens fault?! according to dp I was being sulky and making excuses - he never does anything wrong hmm

SolidGoldBrass Fri 14-Mar-14 18:43:37

So who normally cooks? Does he ever cook? Given that you say gammon is his preferred meal and you are less keen on it, it is even more bad-mannered of him to decide he's going to reject it and buy a takeaway.

What's he like otherwise - does he have form for treating you as an inadequate servant?

my2puddings Fri 14-Mar-14 18:44:14

now im debating whether to carry this on, go back in the kitchen and dish out his tea (knowing he'll still end up getting a takeaway - or just put it in the fridge to keep him happy, keep quiet and let him have his takeaway

ConferencePear Fri 14-Mar-14 18:45:30

I think he should be doing the cooking from now on. That way he will be sure it's something he fancies.

my2puddings Fri 14-Mar-14 18:49:56

im a SAHM so yes - I do all cooking, cleaning, shopping. dp likes his food but has an unhealthy obsession with takeaways. pisses me off a bit to be honest because im not a great cook but this past year or so ive been trying to make things from scratch and cooking 'proper' meals - which he tends to screw his face up at if it doesnt include meat, which in turn makes me think why do I even bother trying?!

peggyundercrackers Fri 14-Mar-14 18:52:18

i think yabu - its only food, so what if he doesnt want to eat what youve cooked...

SaucyJack Fri 14-Mar-14 19:03:04

Depends. Did you tell him that's what you were cooking first? TBH I don't think either of you are in the wrong. You're not his skivvy granted- but you're not his mum either.

I'd be a bit pee'd off too if my DP dictated what I was having for dinner when I wanted to sort meself out.

hunreeeal Fri 14-Mar-14 19:11:16


PumpkinPie2013 Fri 14-Mar-14 19:22:22

YANBU - he's being rude and ungrateful!

Especially since you are trying to save money - takeaways are expensive!

Glasshammer Fri 14-Mar-14 19:27:00

I really wouldn't cook for him again if he had a takeaway, chucking all my effort out of the window

pinkroses5 Fri 14-Mar-14 19:35:50

I would be pissed off BUT to be fair I have had days when only a bit of stodge would do! smile

Ohbyethen Fri 14-Mar-14 19:40:02

Not all men do My2puddings just twats. Which is what he sounds like.
Pathetic, he doesn't seem to be taking responsibility for your family budget, respecting your effort and to top it off is involving one of your children?! Can't even put himself to bed properly and manage his own health.
I feel contempt for him, God knows how you can look at him without thinking the same. Poor you.
I would be telling him to get a fucking grip personally he won't die eating a home cooked meal instead of junk and I wouldn't want to waste money on him for a nice meal out either.

BuggarMeGently Fri 14-Mar-14 19:42:17


my2puddings Fri 14-Mar-14 19:46:17

well he got what he wanted (as always) and his takeaway will be here soon. just to point out I never say to him - this is your tea, like it or lump it. I always give him a choice when doing shopping/meal planning. and if one night he says he fancies a takeout then thats fine with me cos it saves me cooking and cleaning up after! hes just major pissed me off tonight telling me whilst I were in the middle of cooking, throwing a strop and then saying im the one in the wrong! so I f*ck tea off, sit in the other room to chill out, then he still comes in having a whinge that he wants his takeaway and wants ME to order it for him!

my2puddings Fri 14-Mar-14 19:49:05

which obviously I have ordered it for him to shut him up and im still in the other room, pissed off/upset, whilst he plays ps4 with ds1 happy as olt that his takeaway will be here soon

my2puddings Fri 14-Mar-14 19:50:02

sometimes I wish I was single...........

ParsleyTheLioness Fri 14-Mar-14 19:50:21

See, I think this is part of a deeper issue. I had an XH used to do this, and in reality it all boiled to a power struggle. He wanted to call the shots on this ( and most other things).

NachoAddict Fri 14-Mar-14 19:51:54

I would be pissed off if I was half way through cooking. If he wanted a take away he should have let you know before you started cooking. If he was too busy napping that's his problem.

what a waste!!

my2puddings Fri 14-Mar-14 19:55:35

parsley I think you might be right. thing is I always end up feeling like im the one being a twat - like its a gammon for f*ck sake, how've I managed to get so wound up, like I didnt just stick it in the fridge and say "ok lets have a takeout"

ParsleyTheLioness Fri 14-Mar-14 19:57:21

IME it was the same whatever I cooked. We argued about it. A lot. And then we got divorced, but not just over that, obs. He was a controlling arse generally.

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