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My colleague called me rude. Aibu?

(140 Posts)
candyapplecore Fri 14-Mar-14 12:54:56

My colleague made brownies, offered them to the woman next to me then put the plate down on her own desk and left.

I took one, she came back to her desk a couple of minutes later and my colleague who was offered one said in a jokey way that I'd already had one.

She just replied - well that's rude, you could have at least asked.

Was I rude?

WorraLiberty Fri 14-Mar-14 12:55:56


It wasn't yours to take

poorbuthappy Fri 14-Mar-14 12:57:25

Wasn't she rude by not offering you one?

I can't really help as in my work we would have fallen on her like locusts!!

Pagwatch Fri 14-Mar-14 12:57:32

If this is not part of a thing where you all take turns to bring in cakes and/or ig she didn't say 'help yourself' then I'm afraid I think you were rude.
Could you not have waited until she returned ?

GobTheGoblin Fri 14-Mar-14 12:57:44


Whatisaweekend Fri 14-Mar-14 12:57:45

Yes you were a bit rude. However it was far ruder of her to offer a brownie to the person right next to you and then walk off!!

meditrina Fri 14-Mar-14 12:57:52

Yes, you were just taking something.

formerbabe Fri 14-Mar-14 12:57:57

Yep you were rude!

IslaValargeone Fri 14-Mar-14 12:58:18

Yes you were rude.
Additionally, so was she. Why would you offer one person some brownies and not the other?

Groovee Fri 14-Mar-14 12:58:57

You were rude to just presume that you could help yourself. She may have had to pop to the loo or something urgently hence why you weren't offered first time round!

ephemeralfairy Fri 14-Mar-14 13:01:27

You were a bit rude but she was ruder!!

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Fri 14-Mar-14 13:01:51

Each as rude as the other IMO

meditrina Fri 14-Mar-14 13:04:06

We don't know why the colleague left the brownies very briefly unattended in the middle of offering them round. So I don't think we know enough to say if it was deliberately rude or merely infelicitous.

But even if she was rude, it is no justification for OP's rudeness.

Well on the face of it yes it was a bit rude to take something she hadn't offered you but it depends on your working my office (we are small, there are only 3 of us and the office dog) it's a bit of a free for all so no one would take offence.

WorraLiberty Fri 14-Mar-14 13:07:18

But the lady in the OP's office did take offence, so it's obviously a different sort of relationship Betty

tulipsaredelicious Fri 14-Mar-14 13:27:46

Sounds like a weird dynamic to me. They're only brownies. Who cares enough to comment? Think there's more to it.

candyapplecore Fri 14-Mar-14 13:30:47

She had to walk by the desk of the colleague she offered to get to her desk (behind us). Think she left to give one to her friend in a different team.

When she came back then the team ate them.

ConferencePear Fri 14-Mar-14 13:31:11

The woman was rude in not offering you one. That doesn't excuse you taking one without it being offered. YABU

Botanicbaby Fri 14-Mar-14 13:31:51

I think its rude to offer brownies to someone in an office and not to the person sitting next to them but this depends on whether you are in the same team/how well you know each other/if you are in a large organisation that hot desks so perhaps you don't know the people sitting nearby?

If so then I think you were rude to just take one of the brownies but on the other hand, if they are part of your team and you do know them, I think it was rude not to offer one to you. Doesn't give you the right to still take one though I'd be tempted too

eurochick Fri 14-Mar-14 13:33:00

You were rude. You don't take what isn't yours.

LineRunner Fri 14-Mar-14 13:33:36

Do you ever get any work done?

CoffeeTea103 Fri 14-Mar-14 13:34:25

You were so rude! Wow, I wouldn't even think to take something that was not mine.

candyapplecore Fri 14-Mar-14 13:55:25

Do you ever get any work done?

Sometimes. It's been a slow week.

PinkMacaroons Fri 14-Mar-14 14:09:09

I think it's rude to go around offering lovely food and leave a plate next to someone's desk without offering or at the least referring to it, as in "there is enough for everyone, I'll be back in a minute".

However ywbu to just take without asking.
You were both a bit rude but it is a non event really, move on.

pussycatdoll Fri 14-Mar-14 14:11:07

she sounds petty! and the other woman sounds a silly cow for saying 'she's already taken one'
shower of petty twats they sound

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