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(33 Posts)
Beeeb Fri 14-Mar-14 11:20:58

First of all, I only have myself to blame because I snooped through Fiance's emails (in my defence i was trying to access my hotmail and he'd left his open). MCame across an email between him and his Mum. My parents have invited his parents (only met a few times) and grandparents to an informal engagement tea at their house which is happening in a few weeks. No fuss, but Mum sent little notes to them all inviting them to join. I noticed in an email exchange his Mum wrote - "see you at the staging!". This is a p1sstake right? I am feeling very prickly. Am i being unreasonable??

Trooperslane Fri 14-Mar-14 11:21:59

What does that mean? I'm confused OP

AlpacaLypse Fri 14-Mar-14 11:23:10


littlewhitebag Fri 14-Mar-14 11:23:47

I have no idea what it means either.

Spychic Fri 14-Mar-14 11:26:32

Also confused, and Wikipedia was no help

Did she mean it in the theatrical sense?

Beeeb Fri 14-Mar-14 11:26:55

they are quite a theatrical family and it refers to something being "a performance" or a bit showy and i have noticed she can be quite pre-occupied with people being (what she would consider "showy") you know when you just KNOW what someone is implying? It's one of those situations.

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici Fri 14-Mar-14 11:27:09

I can see why you don't think that is very nice.

see you at the performance/show/spectacle

staging in this context would I assume mean the putting on of a show/performance?

Maybe that's what she feels? That they are to be brought before your parents?

Perhaps she feels under pressure to perform or come across well?

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici Fri 14-Mar-14 11:27:42

x post.

Beeeb Fri 14-Mar-14 11:27:46

sorry that was appallingly written (too many brackets) (can't help myself)

twofingerstoGideon Fri 14-Mar-14 11:28:25

Snooping seldom ends well...

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici Fri 14-Mar-14 11:28:26

posted too soon. You interpret it that they are the ones coming to see the performance, not the ones coming to perform?

twofingerstoGideon Fri 14-Mar-14 11:29:51

Or maybe it's a 'La Cage Aux Folles' scenario and there are elaborate preparations to be put in hand?

Beeeb Fri 14-Mar-14 11:31:14

Thanks IseeYou. I get your point, but it couldn't have been less 'in your face'. A simple nice note asking them to come over and she sent a gushing letter back saying she'd love to. Yet is writing snidey things like this! And my Fiance didn't say anything to encourage this and I know this is the first time they've spoken about it because she has been away for a couple of weeks on hol. I need to get a life but it has really irked me!!!! What is wrong with a nice, personal lunch to celebrate it. As a matter of fact it was THEY who threw the most OTT party for mil-2-be's 60th birthday!

Beeeb Fri 14-Mar-14 11:33:02

ISeeYou - yet, my interpretation is that they feel they have been invited to a performance

twofingerstoGideon - ah, indeed yes. I'm such a dirty snooper.

jollygoose Fri 14-Mar-14 11:38:07

I think tbf you are slightly misinterpreting here, its the sort of thing I might say myself merely because I find this sort of situation a bit awkward. Give her the benefit of the doubt and forget it imo.

Beeeb Fri 14-Mar-14 11:39:50

jollygoose, you're right, but it seems like such a bizarre, spiteful thing to say.

ParaTrooper Fri 14-Mar-14 11:40:06

I would feel the same as you. Maybe M-I-L to be is feeling a bit lost, empty nest etc and is trying to create a connection with her son at the expense of his in-laws to be.

Not acceptable behaviour at all.

Stockhausen Fri 14-Mar-14 11:41:02

I'd be pretty hurt tbh. No need to say what she said, "see you at beeb's parents, or at the tea" would suffice, and be much nicer.

I'd see how they are on the day, and remember this is your MIL not your fiance who said it, but also she IS your MIL to be, so pick your fights carefully wink

SometimesLonely Fri 14-Mar-14 11:42:20

Well, OP, you and your fiance will be front of stage with an audience looking at you.

Another reason for the word 'staging' could be fingers on the wrong buttons and the word came out instead of engaging <clutches at a short straw>

Beeeb Fri 14-Mar-14 11:43:44

thanks paratrooper. That's how i feel. Thing is, we get on really well, so it feels a bit like she's something of a smiling assassin. I did actually text my F to ask what "staging" means and he asked why i was asking and called (I cuoldn't answer due to being at work) but he seemed a bit panicked. I told him not to worry and that i had looked but he has been trying to be very nice this morning by email etc so i think he suspects i've seen it. I won't mention it to him again.

Beeeb Fri 14-Mar-14 11:45:53

Jesus, reading back on my posts makes me realise how awfully i write!! I meant to say that I responded to his text by telling him that he was "not to worry as i have looked up the meaning myself". He knows damn well what i mean.

LookingThroughTheFog Fri 14-Mar-14 11:48:03

my interpretation is that they feel they have been invited to a performance

I'm not sure. If they are theatrical in general and this is part of their everyday vocab, then it probably just means 'the important fun thing before the big main event.'

I just feel like, if that's their life, then it's just words that tie into an emotion.

fishfingereaters Fri 14-Mar-14 11:48:43

you might have missed something here - it could be an in-joke or relate to some comment your fiancé made that was quite innocent. Like, we're going to be on show, or something like that.

Don't start the negative feelings towards your MIL now, before you even get married. Pace yourself, woman!

ParaTrooper Fri 14-Mar-14 11:49:10

Your writing is fine beeeb, I understood you.

LookingThroughTheFog Fri 14-Mar-14 11:49:39

To be honest, I'd be a little more concerned that my partner had been snooping through my email, and had called my mother a cowbag on the internet this early into a relationship.

Think long term. Is this all really right for you?

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