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To think that 400 pounds is too much for a wedding present?

(126 Posts)
seeminglyso Thu 13-Mar-14 21:21:26

Hi there, can you help me my husband is best man for his friend and thinks we should give them 400 pounds for a wedding gift. We are not loaded and this is a lot for us as it is for most people. He feels that as they paid 170 for our accommodation this is fair, but I have commented that people do expect to pay out for a wedding and paying for the best mans accommodation is customary. What do others think? AIBU?

TamerB Thu 13-Mar-14 21:30:04

Far too much!

DesperatelySeekingSedatives Thu 13-Mar-14 21:31:24

Erm... No YANBU. shock that anyone thinks like that let alone says it out loud.

If that is groomzilla's point of view I'd tell him to shove his best man duties up his arse. Or offer to pay my own bloody accomodation and but them an ashtray or something.

HermioneWeasley Thu 13-Mar-14 21:31:50

I have never heRd it being customary to pay for the best man's accomodation.

£400 is a lot, but (subject to finances) I would probably give at least £100 over the value of room and cost meals etc - so £400 is not far off.

DesperatelySeekingSedatives Thu 13-Mar-14 21:31:53

buy not but

HellomynameisIcklePickle Thu 13-Mar-14 21:32:40

People can pay what they want so it isn't too much

but in the circumstances including his reasoning I don't think he's right

can you compromise on £200?

joanofarchitrave Thu 13-Mar-14 21:34:04


Seems a slightly random amount, as well as being MUCH too much.

As best man it would be nice to give something personal that he knows the couple (or at least the groom) would really love. But that could easily be £20 and still be great.

Kormachameleon Thu 13-Mar-14 21:34:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklingbrook Thu 13-Mar-14 21:34:31

What for? Have they asked for money with a tacky poem?

seeminglyso Thu 13-Mar-14 21:34:58

Yes his reasoning is that he includes that cost and gives 200 but others have said that is too much and as he has not been a best man before he isn't sure what is expected. Its tricky and don't want to be mean but at the same time don't want to give whats well above and beyond expectation.

DesperatelySeekingSedatives Thu 13-Mar-14 21:35:07

hang on a minute think I've misunderstood your OP. sorry. blush think I'm in need of an early night.

£400 is an awful lot imo but we're not well off either understatement

shakinstevenslovechild Thu 13-Mar-14 21:35:13

Way too much, my average is about £30-£50.

For very close family or if I were in your position I would pay out the absolute maximum of £100 for a present.

I haven't heard that it's customary for the best mans accommodation to be paid for though.

PrincessOfChina Thu 13-Mar-14 21:35:17

That's a lot. I usually give a larger present if I'm bridesmaid or DH is an usher or something but more like £100-150.

Sparklingbrook Thu 13-Mar-14 21:35:53

Pay for your own accommodation then buy them some vouchers or something.

PrincessOfChina Thu 13-Mar-14 21:36:10

If you want to know an average of Best Man gifts then I can share that our Best Man gave £200.

GingerMaman Thu 13-Mar-14 21:36:37

That is way too much! £100 at the max. More will probably make them feel uncomfortable

Sparklingbrook Thu 13-Mar-14 21:37:17

The gift is your DH being Best Man.

TamerB Thu 13-Mar-14 21:38:15

I would pay for your own accommodation and then a present around £50.

seeminglyso Thu 13-Mar-14 21:38:30

No not for anything specific just as we feel money is best as they can buy what they want when they set up home.

GarthsUncle Thu 13-Mar-14 21:39:09

Our best man just gave us a "normal" gift from the list, I think.

GimmeDaBoobehz Thu 13-Mar-14 21:39:27

Knock the zero off the end and your DH is quite right. Double that if you feel generous smile

Sparklingbrook Thu 13-Mar-14 21:39:34

That sounds about right to me TamerB. I didn't know of the etiquette where the Best Man has to do anything different to other guests.

SlightlyDampWellies Thu 13-Mar-14 21:40:11

Our best man gave us nothing.

He does come and stay with us for free every summer for 3 weeks though.

sore point

No, way too much.Silly amount.

rascal1979 Thu 13-Mar-14 21:40:42

Our best man gave us £50 vouchers. We didn't expect anything. You don't get married to get presents surely? £400 is ridiculous!

GobbySadcase Thu 13-Mar-14 21:42:20

Sod that.
Most expensive gift at our wedding was £25.

Only 8 years ago too.

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