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To think that women are treated like shit by society?

(148 Posts)
superstarheartbreaker Thu 13-Mar-14 18:47:16

Especially single mothers. I have been discriminated against several times about my lack of marital status.
I'm fed up with the whole way that society treats women and I'm worried about my dd.
I do love men and they make good friends but society gives out this message that it is important to be married and/ or in a relationship. Single women are seen as a threat and / or failures.
Women in relationships are often repressed. The media promotes this 'perfect' body image and porn.
I mean I know it's been done to death but why do we put up with it?
What is worse it that we are our own worse enemy. Women see each other as threats too.

Nicknacky Thu 13-Mar-14 18:48:34

How have you been discriminated against?

myitchybeaver Thu 13-Mar-14 18:53:18

I don't see things like you, sorry. I see there are still some issues like a pay gap and the glass ceiling in business but generally I love being a woman. I feel powerful in and out of relationships. Have been a lone parent and not felt discrimination.

WooWooOwl Thu 13-Mar-14 18:55:26

I'm a woman, and I've done a few years as a single mother. I've never felt discriminated against, and I never got the impression that I should be married when I was single, nor do I feel repressed in my relationship.

You must live in a different world to the one I live in.

mrscumberbatch Thu 13-Mar-14 18:56:17

I agree OP.

I'm quite an assertive sort in business and if there's a complaint or whatnot I'm always the 'Stupid Girl' or the 'Hysterical Woman'.

Never mind the fact that I am completely calm and just as, if not more than in some cases, qualified...

Sometimes I feel like men feel the need to 'put you in your place.' But where is our place now?

HellomynameisIcklePickle Thu 13-Mar-14 18:56:27


superstarheartbreaker Thu 13-Mar-14 18:56:45

Ive obviously just been unlucky or mabe it is in my head.

TunipTheUnconquerable Thu 13-Mar-14 18:58:37

There are still lots of inequalities but we have made so much progress in really important areas. We have amazing legal rights compared to what women had in the past.
There is still a long way to go but feminism seems to be building up a head of steam so now's a good time to get involved with trying to change things even further.
You could get involved with Object, or The Fawcett Society, or UK Feminista, for instance. smile

CoffeeTea103 Thu 13-Mar-14 18:59:02

Yabu I certainly don't see things this way.

Bowlersarm Thu 13-Mar-14 19:02:05

I think YABU.

I'm not single though, so can't speak from a single woman's point of view.

Landoni112 Thu 13-Mar-14 19:03:14

I agree with OP. Am getting increasingly fed-up with the lack of females at the top/role models. Films with only 1 speaking actress (love interest), nastiness to women who don't fit into the mould that we are supposed to (see the bread-feeding women called a tramp story that's all over at the mo.)
I think there is a lot of hate towards women, and I think women are just as guilty of it as men are. I long for the day when we are truly equal at home, on the street and at work. (and not just because men now use moisturiser!)

Landoni112 Thu 13-Mar-14 19:03:58

breast not bread! (smile)

FoxesRevenge Thu 13-Mar-14 19:07:03

As a singleton I'm often asked why I am single and when am I going to settle down. It's as though it's expected, the norm. I'm very happy thank you very much and I'm not looking for a partner.

There have been occasions when I haven't been invited to social events because I'm not part of a couple. The excuse given is that they thought I'd be bored on my own hmm

DietCokeMultipackCan Thu 13-Mar-14 19:08:07

I don't think yabu op. I often hear the kind of slights you describe about single mothers, especially those with children by more than one man. It's not overt though, always done in a slightly underhand, gossipy way. I am married to the father of my children so I expect the people who have made comments to me assume I will agree with them.

NurseyWursey Thu 13-Mar-14 19:08:46

I've never once felt discriminated against because I'm a woman. Thankfully.

Dahlen Thu 13-Mar-14 19:13:43

I think sexism has simply changed the way it works.

There are enough female bosses now that few people have problems taking women seriously because of their gender. Instead, what it discriminated against now are roles, which could be done by either men or women; it just so happens that in the vast majority of cases it's a woman in that role. And discrimination doesn't have to take the form of outright criticism; it can be a lot more difficult to pin down than that.

So, for example, if you're a single parent you're twice as likely to live in poverty. 92% of single parents are female. If you're the primary carer in the relationship, your career is likely to suffer more than if you're the 'secondary' carer. Most primary carers are women.

Most women fall foul of structural sexism once they become parents, though they often don't realise it because letting your career take a back seat/being the parent with care following separation is the default position in our society for women and utterly normalised.

Because men can be cast in these roles, it is difficult to argue that it is the fact that the 'victim' is a woman that has resulted in these problems. However, that is looking at the issue very superficially. Once you start realising that women are socialised into taking these roles much more so than men, almost from birth, you realise that women are very much still discriminated against in society.

Goldenbear Thu 13-Mar-14 19:15:58

I agree and I have become more aware of the inferior position that women still seem to occupy since becoming a SAHP. It has occurred to me that within this role 'your' status is very marginalised and it is wholly concerned with gender rather than just the role itself. Within this role you will be critised and judged by both women and men. It is apparently not good enough to want to do this as a role for 4/5 years as it sets a bad example to your DC. It is NOT the same for men. If they are SAHP it is still seen as novel and impressive that they would want that level of attachment.

fideline Thu 13-Mar-14 19:17:29


I think the likelihood of discriminatory varies by industry, region, culture, demography. There cannot possibly be one common female experience across the UK.

Your experience is valid.

superstarheartbreaker Thu 13-Mar-14 19:22:30

Try being a ash single mum then! I've been working for three years then quit due to workplace discrimination/ harassment.

Bowlersarm Thu 13-Mar-14 19:22:45

There have been occasions when I haven't been invited to social events because I'm not part of a couple

Presumably the same would apply if you were a man, therefore not discriminating against a woman per se.

superstarheartbreaker Thu 13-Mar-14 19:23:30

Love your post Landoni!

mrscumberbatch Thu 13-Mar-14 19:26:18

No but there is the old stereotype of 'Dont leave the single woman with your husbands'

I can't deny that there will be the odd woman who is an unsaveable dickhead, but women need to stop feeling threatened by other women and adhering to age old stupid stereotypes.

TheSmallPrint Thu 13-Mar-14 19:28:46

YANBU by any stretch of the imagination.

paxtecum Thu 13-Mar-14 19:29:16

I get quite annoyed at the Miss, Mrs and Ms titles for women.
I really think there should be only one title, whether single, married, divorced or widowed.

Men are just Mr, whatever their marital staus is.

I think title issue if far more important than taking on 9or not) the DHs name on marriage.

GarthsUncle Thu 13-Mar-14 19:29:30


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