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To be so upset at nursery for this

(167 Posts)
Newbeginning1 Thu 13-Mar-14 18:46:38

DS is 4 and attends a nursery and yesterday when I went to pick him up, I was told he'd called one of the staff members 'stinky Sarah'.

When I was told, I admit I found it funny and I turned my head to the left so my son couldn't see me and laughed. It wasn't a belly laugh, it was a small laugh and my child didn't see.

Today, when I've gone to pick DS up, I've been taken upstairs by a member of staff to talk about it. Apparently the staff are concerned about my DS because of what he said and that he laughed when he was told off (I wasn't made aware of that) and that I laughed.

When I've challenged them back on what exactly I'm being spoken to about its that I laughed. My response is that I don't get why the staff member didn't just say to me that they're taking it seriously or that it upset the member of staff rather than going behind my back like that.

He only has 5 months left before school but I just feel like the trust has gone completely from the nursery and that I want to move him.

I need some honest advice please.

BitOutOfPractice Thu 13-Mar-14 18:48:48

Sorry OP but parents that laugh when their child is in trouble get on my last nerve.

NickNacks Thu 13-Mar-14 18:49:03

You sound very childish. Why laugh??

When send what did they go behind your back about?


Nicknacky Thu 13-Mar-14 18:49:56

Why would you laugh at that? I would be mortified if my child was so rude.

CoffeeTea103 Thu 13-Mar-14 18:50:20

Yabu and ridiculous that you can't even see it. Your child was very rude and seeing how you reacted when you were informed, shows exactly where he gets it from.
What part of calling someone stinky is funny?

Floggingmolly Thu 13-Mar-14 18:50:27

Why did you find it funny?
Him laughing when being told off is probably directly connected to the fact that you find his rudeness enchanting; and expect others to think likewise.

LaurieFairyCake Thu 13-Mar-14 18:50:29

It's a misunderstanding

In a few days you will get over it , it's minor.

PortofinoRevisited Thu 13-Mar-14 18:51:10

No - YOU were in the wrong here.

foslady Thu 13-Mar-14 18:51:16

You laughed?

NoIamAngelaHernandez Thu 13-Mar-14 18:51:38

You handled it wrongly. You should have taken it seriously and certainly not have laughed.

You are an adult and did not back up the staff's reasonable expectation that you would let your son know his comment was inappropriate.

MaxsMummy2012 Thu 13-Mar-14 18:51:59

Yes YABU and quite childish really. Your s

WooWooOwl Thu 13-Mar-14 18:52:58

I don't understand how they have gone behind your back.

And I'm surprised you think it's funny that your four year old is blatantly rude to someone.

You have no reason to be upset at the nursery, you should take a look at yourself and the example you are setting to your very young child.

Lottiedoubtie Thu 13-Mar-14 18:53:39

You laughed at your nursery staff and now you feel that they have broken all the trust with you? Nice.

MaxsMummy2012 Thu 13-Mar-14 18:54:25

Posted too soon. Your son said something inappropriate and you laughed - you need to learn to control that or he will never learn what is sociably acceptable behaviour.

FutTheShuckUp Thu 13-Mar-14 18:54:49

This has got to be a joke

HellomynameisIcklePickle Thu 13-Mar-14 18:55:36

It's minor and you'll all get over it I'm sure

LittleRedDinosaur Thu 13-Mar-14 18:56:15


Wuxiapian Thu 13-Mar-14 18:56:55


And childish. And doing your son no favours if you laugh when he's been naughty.

chandlery Thu 13-Mar-14 18:57:23

Children aged 4 can be rude. Adults have a responsibilty to show them correct social behaviour.

Laughing at your son being rude to an adult is in turn rude and gives misleading signals to everyone concerned (whether your son noticed or not).

The nursery probably feel they can't trust you either not to support their policy on behaviour.

Newbeginning1 Thu 13-Mar-14 18:57:43

Ok, I absolutely take your points on and I can get how they can see it's connected and maybe it is.

I did pull absolutely pull him up on it when we got home and we have been doing a sticker chart and because of it he didn't get a sticker so he gets there are consequences.

You're right, I probably am being unreasonable I just wish that they had said that they had taken it seriously or followed it up this morning to see that I've reinforced them.

OwlCapone Thu 13-Mar-14 18:58:02

You were wrong to laugh and appeared to not care that your son was rude. You have been pulled up on it. Get over it.

DesperatelySeekingSedatives Thu 13-Mar-14 18:58:07

why laugh? honestly he wasn't that funny. he wasn't funny at all. You're overreacting. you want to move him because "the trust has gone"? WTAF? Your son was rude to a member of staff and was told off, he laughed (as did you hmm ) and the staff are concerned about that reaction. They pulled you both up on that. I think you're getting your knickers in a twist because you know you're in the wrong.

BlackholesAndRevelations Thu 13-Mar-14 18:58:22

Blimey. YABU for laughing because your child called someone stinky. He's got a great role model!

BumPotato Thu 13-Mar-14 18:58:28

You didn't laugh directly at Stinky, did you? Does she stink? Kids are brutally honest sometimes.

I'm a bit like you in that I giggled when my kids said their first swear words when I should really have been telling them off (my kids aren't habitual swearers but they've told me when they'd learned them at school).

You do need to keep a straight face in these situations though and provide a joint effort with the nursery when it comes to discipline.

BookABooSue Thu 13-Mar-14 18:59:28

tbh it all seems rather ott. Quite a lot of people laugh out of embarrassment or shock so even though you said you laughed because you thought it was funny, the nursery weren't to know that which I think makes their response a bit heavy handed.

I would have made ds apologise when I was told about the incident and for not doing so I think YWBU.

However, I would feel uncomfortable with a nursery giving me into trouble and saying one incident of name-calling was a cause for concern unless this is one in a long list of incidents with your ds and you never support the nursery.

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