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neighbour across the road

(48 Posts)
gabcat Thu 13-Mar-14 12:05:37

my neighbour across the road has SN , I am not entirely sure of what but he has a live in male carer.
they are fairly new only lived on the street for 6 months or so .
in the past 2-3 month my neighbour has been stood at his front window unclothed masturbsting . we live on a very busy main road. Now I don't sit watching his window but I have seen when I'm putting the bins out, going/coming home from work etc
I'm not the only one that has seen this , my NDNs on both sides have noticed aswell and they are concerned as they have young children who are playing out in the garden more now as the weather is getting nicer , and all 3 of us have mentioned it to our neighbours carer on more than one occasion but it's still happening !
what do we do ?!

Oldraver Thu 13-Mar-14 12:09:32

Police, totally unacceptable, SN or not. As you have mentioned it to his carer who should have sorted this out and its still happening, I think police is the only way to go.

cathpip Thu 13-Mar-14 12:15:26

I would mention it to the carer once more, but state that if it does not stop you will have to report to the police. Sn or not it is unacceptable behaviour.

nipersvest Thu 13-Mar-14 12:18:34

yep, police, report him for antisocial behaviour, and exposing himself in public.

CocktailQueen Thu 13-Mar-14 12:19:43

Yep, police. Call the 101 number. Totally unacceptable, SN or not.

AgentProvocateur Thu 13-Mar-14 12:34:44

I would find out what organisation the carer works at (if it's not a family member) and ask to speak to the service manager about it. This is something that the care organisation need to work on with the young man - boundaries and appropriate sexual behaviour. Really, all he needs to learn to do is close the curtains.

If he has a full time carer, his disabilities must be severe enough for him to need 1-1 care. Calling the police is overkill - not sure what you'd expect them to do.

CarefullyAirbrushedPotato Thu 13-Mar-14 12:39:45

calling the police is not either overkill, it is an offence he's committing .
presumably they'll have a lot better clout with social workers and carers than 'just' a neighbour too.

TheToysAreALIVEITellThee Thu 13-Mar-14 12:42:01


You're not near me are you OP? We have a guy near my DS's school who stands at his window naked while the kids are going in to school but I was rounded upon when I mentioned going to the police. Was told I needed to be more understanding of people with SN, and that a visit / call by the police could really upset the man.

Luckily DS has never noticed, I dread the day he does.

DrankSangriaInThePark Thu 13-Mar-14 12:49:14

I would tell the carer one more time that if it ever happens again, you will call the police. I would also find out, as others have suggested, what the organisation is that the carer comes from.

If he is there when this man is exposing himself, he's not doing his "caring" very efficiently is he?

gabcat Thu 13-Mar-14 12:49:52

I am in Manchester thetoys
and I don't want to upset him but tbh he's upsetting me and I feel like I'm the one doing something wrong when I spot him doing it !
like you my neighbours are concerned about their young girls seeing it
should I ring the police now or next time he does it ?

betman Thu 13-Mar-14 12:54:53

I would call the police. They won't necessarily turn up all guns blazing with the full information. If a report goes to social services from the police safeguarding unit then social services are more likely to take it seriously.

It's not just the safety and dignity of the public, it's about this man's dignity and reporting it will help the relevent people put safeguards in place.

blahblahblah2014 Thu 13-Mar-14 13:03:28

How comes everybody was ok with the naked pregnant lady walking around with all windows open on full view of others and though it funny but now it's a man it's all "report it" and "call the police" - OK not quite the same thing BUT it's still exposing yourself!!!

TheToysAreALIVEITellThee Thu 13-Mar-14 13:07:21

Blahblah, did you miss the bit in the OP about the man tossing off?

Bit of a pertinent fact no?

blahblahblah2014 Thu 13-Mar-14 13:09:31

It is obviously different in this case, but the charge of indecent exposure still stands

enriquetheringbearinglizard Thu 13-Mar-14 13:10:11

You can ring the Police on 101 and just express your concerns then it's up to them to decide how to progress. They may talk to Social Services and let them handle it. It's informal, as in easy to talk to them and they will listen to you because this constitutes anti social behaviour at the least.

Greater Manchester Police If that's not the right website it shouldn't be hard to navigate to the right one.

Slebmum Thu 13-Mar-14 13:14:36

We had this exact situation in my mums flats - every time my sister and I walked the dogs he would be at the window, blatantly having a wank. In view of the small children that played in the communal gardens we called the police, non emergency but this was before 101. They came round, took statements from everyone and the upshot was that he was cautioned for indecent exposure. About six months after that he was moved into supported housing - I'm not sure what his additional needs were but think they were quite complex.

I would report it without question - it really isn't overkill, especially if there are kids around.

LayMeDown Thu 13-Mar-14 13:14:49

He's MASTURBATING blahblah did you see that bit? I may be a bit of an uptight prude but I don't want my kids to see a grown man masturbating his erect penis and quite possibly ejaculating in full view of an entire road. A pregnant woman wandering around her house, not so much of an issue. I am stunned that anyone needs the differene pointed out tbh.

Wishfulmakeupping Thu 13-Mar-14 13:18:40

Yes I think police is the way to go the carer obviously is unable to control the situation it needs stopping

rainbowfeet Thu 13-Mar-14 13:22:40

Absolutely call the police next time... I don't see why it's your place to have to approach his carer.. That's what the police are there for. In fact a little scare as in a visit from police might make him stop.

AllThatGlistens Thu 13-Mar-14 13:22:47

I have young sons with SN and his carer really should have dealt with this, it's wholly inappropriate and if he is fairly easy to work with he can be taught to close curtains/ ensure privacy, both for himself and onlookers who shouldn't have to witness this.

It absolutely needs to be escalated and dealt with, as I'd expect it to be if this sort of scenario ever happened with my boys when they grow up.

If you know who the carer works for, you can escalate it to their manager asap or call 101 for advice.

Of course it must be stopped, children shouldn't be seeing it and the person with SN either needs to be made aware of boundaries or if that isn't possible he clearly needs a higher level of care than he's currently receiving.

I hope you get a swift resolution to this OP sad

caruthers Thu 13-Mar-14 13:40:37

I'd be calling the police on the wanker and the pregnant woman parading around her living room.

Although depending on the wankers level of SN it's debatable if he'll get into trouble or another solution have to be found.

whineaholic Thu 13-Mar-14 13:43:47

Bedrooms with the curtains shut are for wanking, not front rooms with the windows open.

caruthers Thu 13-Mar-14 13:44:28

As is walking around the living room naked.

whineaholic Thu 13-Mar-14 13:44:40

It also needs addressing fo rhis safety too because one day he may do it in front of the wrong person and you never know what may ensue.

gabcat Thu 13-Mar-14 13:52:23

he lives in an upside down house so I'm presuming it is his bedroom there's just no curtains or blinds !
we also live near a high school I'm scared he's going to be doing it one day and one of the teenagers sees it cos we all know how brutal they can be!
so not sure whether to report it now or risk waiting until I spot it and somebody else getting there before me and taking a different course of action !

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