found pictures of me on hubby's PC - don't know what to do.(429 Posts)
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Tonight I went onto hubby's pc. He works from home as a photographer. He had lots of pictures up. I closed down some of his folders, but as I was closing one down, I saw it was pictures of my privates (I was a bit absent minded so didn't pay much attention to what it was until I'd hit the x button)
So there were pictures of vaginas. I was a bit wtf? Then I caught sight of one of me, smiling, lower half naked, legs akimbo, on my couch, wearing clothes I recognise.
I don't remember ever posing like that or for pictures of my vagina.
Actually I have once, but that was a close up of a boil on my vagina that I wanted to take to my doctor's appointment (it was a recurring boil that was always gone by the time of the appt so dr had asked me to take a pic next time).
It was taken by DH on my phone and he handed it immediately back to me and I deleted it off my phone after the appointment which was that day.
So i have no idea where all these pictures come from. I'm quite a private person, and I'd never pose for pictures unless like I said above to take a picture to my doctor.
I'm confused and digusted right now. My DD could have come across this, or my hubby's colleague who often comes to the house, or my very prudish parents.
I did confront DH who says he has no idea where the pictures came from, he doesn't remember me posing either apart from that dr appt one. He did a search and couldn't find the folder I closed. I wish I hadn't closed it but I wasn't paying much attention til the last second.
He did keep asking me to go and fetch his phone, cos he was running late for an appt with a client but now its going through my head, did he want me gone so he could hide the evidence?
I have come across porn videos before and porn sites in his internet history which he keeps saying is a virus/pop ups etc. I have never really believed him but I kind of let it go I admit.
This is different though. These are pictures of me that he appears to have taken. To perhaps look at in his own time? But I don't remember posing for them and I never would either. Even if I had, I would have expected him to delete them immediately, not leave them on the PC for someone to come across such as DD.
I just feel dirty and disrespected. I don't know what to do. I've been with him for 16 years now, married for 9, he's my best friend and I know he's never been with anyone else - I do know where he is all the time (he works from home, my parents live in the same street, we have mutual friends).
I don't know what to do, please help!
NC for this
I'm glad you have rl support, OP, keep up with the counselling and come back for advice here if you want it. As I said earlier, you don't have to make any decisions straight away and you can also change your mind.
Concentrate on looking after yourself and your dd and take all the time you need to come to terms with this.
Do try to recover the pictures. The most likely option is that he has photoshopped them so it's not 'you' in the pictures, although your face might make it look like it is you. Did the police say they would help with this?
Good luck OP and keep pressing your DH for an answer - after all, he knows what he's done and how those photos got there
Op you've been incredibly fortunate/proactive to get an appointment with a counsellor so soon and arranged within three days of these awful events unfolding.
I hope that the support you receive helps you to come to the best decision for you and your little one.
Wishing you better times ahead.
You need to get the answers from him for YOURSELF, not us. I can only speak for myself but I am sure I am not the only one upset and angry for you as well as concerned about what exactly your husband has been up too, and will be here to try and help should you want it in the future.
I would be denying him access to anything computer related and tell him he has one more chance to tell you exactly what has gone on or else you will be seeing the police to report him and a solicitor for divorce advice.
Please allow your parents to support you and your child as much as they are able to take care.
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