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Following on from the 'keeping up with the Jones' thread - people who discuss what they have paid for new car/kitchen

(36 Posts)
Kentonian Wed 12-Mar-14 09:08:23

A woman I used to work with informed the whole team how much she was spending on her new kitchen. It was well over £30k. Once done, she invited colleagues to admire and gush over it for wine and nibbles.

It was the topic of conversation for months;

"My kitchen is just wonderful. I could sit and look at it for hours"

"I just love going home to my new kitchen"

MOTU Wed 12-Mar-14 09:12:40

As a cooking obsessive, if I could afford to put in a 30k kitchen I would probably talk about it too, the kitchen is always my favourite part of the house so having a nice one is a big bonus. As for the new kitchen party -my parents and their neighbours has new kitchens around the same time and invited the neighbours when they were done-though I think that was partly to day thanks for putting up with the noise/skips in the street etc!

Laquitar Wed 12-Mar-14 09:18:57

In my country (Spain) and other countries this is normal. It is also normal for people to ask i.e. 'Nice dress, how much did you buy it?' 'are you a teacher, how much do you earn?' etc.

Well tbh you can guess how much a kitchen costs anyway so i dont see the big deal.

HellomynameisIcklePickle Wed 12-Mar-14 09:19:56

I like people who talk prices - helps put the world into context. Depends how it is said of course!!

Burren Wed 12-Mar-14 09:24:19

In my universe, anyone who was so impoverished for a topic of conversation that they had to fall back on the delights of their newly-purchased kitchen would be greeted with pity and ill-concealed horror.

Atavistic Wed 12-Mar-14 09:26:26

I find it really helpful when people aren't coy about what stuff costs. If you all work and live in the same environment, and earn similar money, where's the harm? If it's out and out bragging, sure, that's annoying, but if it's not, try to see the positives in it. Now you know what a 30 grand kitchen looks like!

Burren Wed 12-Mar-14 09:26:55

And if anyone asked me any of Laquitar's questions - and yes, I realise it's highly culturally-dependent - I would be replying 'In what possible universe is that any of your business?'

Laquitar Wed 12-Mar-14 09:38:14

YY Hello,
mind you now in the internet days you can check everything. One click and you find how much your friends bought their new house, or how much a teacher un York earns. I bet many people, who dont like money talk, are on the internet spying lol. Well at least your friends save you the time!

Edendance Wed 12-Mar-14 09:43:44

I wish more people talked about the cost of stuff, I find it helps learn more about different things. I can see why it would be annoying for her to keep going on about it but more because if I were you I'd just be feeling massively jelous!

Laquitar Wed 12-Mar-14 09:46:09

they have to also touch your dress to feel the fabric!!

missmargot Wed 12-Mar-14 09:47:07

I think there's a big difference between being asked how much something costs and pushing the information down people's throats.

LunchLadyWannabe Wed 12-Mar-14 09:47:21

I dont like discussing how much things cost.

My sister always asks how much something is if she sees its a new purchase. She then sneerers at me as she thinks im made of money and i pay over the odds for things.

My dh likes to tell people how much things cost, how much he has spent on advertising this month, how much his business has brought in this month etc.

I find it very distasteful when dh does this and its abit like "look at me! See what i ve got"


AnnaLegovah Wed 12-Mar-14 09:47:40

We've just ordered a new kitchen and have had lots of people asking how much we're paying. And before buying it we asked friends what they'd paid for theirs. Coyness about money is a very British trait and something we should be more open about I think.

There's a difference between that and your colleague, OP. She's just bragging.

shakethetree Wed 12-Mar-14 09:55:36

I love people who discuss prices, but then I'm nosy. haha

LunchLadyWannabe Wed 12-Mar-14 09:56:52

The problem with talking about money with people who are not in the same wage bracket as you is that it causes resentment and jealousy. It also makes people think they can make snide remarks like :

You waste money

I guess you dont look at prices do you?

I bet the thought of hard work scares the hell out of you now doesnt it? (My job involves light duties)

You have more money than sense

You have landed right on your feet there with your dh (because of money) said in a snide tone

lainiekazan Wed 12-Mar-14 10:14:41

It's funny, in my world it's a case of competitive lack of spending, eg, "Oh, this old thing? I've had it ten years," or "I found it on the floor in Primark marked down to 15p"

I have found, however, that elsewhere this is not well regarded. Italians, for example, wear most of their salary on their back and are proud to tell you so. In the US, too, unless you had a suitably quirky look you were just considered poor and rather worthless if you liked a bargain.

shebird Wed 12-Mar-14 10:16:02

There is a difference between bragging about something and having a chat with friends where someone might ask 'do you mind asking how much it cost to do your kitchen because we are doing our kitchen' this is more information sharing where someone might like your advice.
Generally I don't like to discuss money but sharing tips and information is different.

whois Wed 12-Mar-14 10:19:34

Tone fair, if I had a nice house and was putting in a £30k kitchen if be gushing about how much I love it. I would also like to go and have a nosey round someone else's kitchen, especially if they were supplying wine and nibbles.

kerala Wed 12-Mar-14 10:27:17

Its not the kitchen furniture itself thats expensive in our case its the structural and building works to get the 3 small poky rooms bashed into one big light filled room. The actual cost of the units pales next to the builders fee! None of which I am discussing with anyone though (despite direct questions looking at you friends husband hmm) we are doing this for us and to add value to the house which is a lovely old house in a great area so we hope to recoup what we have spent when we sell (in about 30 years)

Still will be finished next week and the builders will be gone and I will have my new kitchen CANNOT WAIT!!

Kentonian Wed 12-Mar-14 10:28:32

This colleague was a very senior member of staff. She earned at least twice as much as most of us in the office.

Burren Wed 12-Mar-14 10:31:01

Foreigner and fascinated student of UK social class here.

Isn't asking people around to see your new kitchen, or giving tours of your new house, distinctly non-U, and in fact rather lower-middle-class?(And people higher up the middle class would be more likely to do a version of 'This old thing? Picked it up out of a skip', and the UC to have an ancient inherited kitchen?)

I suppose what I'm asking is whether 'keeping up with the Joneses' in this 'come and admire how much I spent' way classes you as aspirational LMC?

Edendance Wed 12-Mar-14 10:31:45

Then that's just mean!!

theimposter Wed 12-Mar-14 10:34:14

I agree with LunchLadyWannabe; I was brought up with the belief that it is quite 'vulgar' (now there's an old word!) to discuss money in this way. DP is very money obsessed and has to vocalise the price of everything including when he gives you a gift ('This cost X pounds') which is really annoying as I am in the camp of it's the thought not money that counts and actually I don't want to know. The exception might be buying/selling horses as the market is very weird atm so it is interesting to see what they make and it is commonly discussed anyway and I might ask a friend how much they paid for a nice dress or similar if I knew them well enough. Maybe I'm old fashioned though!

BornFreeButinChains Wed 12-Mar-14 10:36:57

Luckily I dont compare myself to other people so it wouldnt bother me, and I would be happy to share in her joy of her kitchen.

Kentonian Wed 12-Mar-14 10:37:32

The same woman used to boast about her expensive holidays in 5 star hotels. Some colleagues could not even afford the basic of holidays yet she would rattle on!

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