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Gah - nursery and toilet training

(23 Posts)
ScoutFinchMockingbird Wed 12-Mar-14 08:40:25

Toilet trained DD (2.10) in Jan and she has been doing fairly well, but still has accidents, especially when excited or absorbed in other things.
She is particularly fond of playing outside and has been doing so at nursery with all the nice weather. So she has an accident.
Thing is, she keeps coming home with trousers changed but no pants/knickers underneath. AIBU to expect the nursery to oversee this?!

Forgettable Wed 12-Mar-14 08:46:05

Do they need spares?

Deliaskis Wed 12-Mar-14 08:56:12

Have they got looooooaaaaads of spares. At this stage in toilet training, I used to send three accident bags in DD's nursery bag, each in its own separate plastic bag, each with trousers, pants and socks. They would have to have been pretty bloody-minded to have used just the trousers but dressed her pantless.

You're not being U to expect it, but I would just set up a couple of accident bags, and explain to them in the morning next time she goes, so there's no room for them to get it wrong.


Sirzy Wed 12-Mar-14 08:56:43

Have you provided enough spares?

CheshireDing Wed 12-Mar-14 09:02:30

Pfb was toilet trained by nursery and i used to make sure she had at least 5 pairs of spare knickers in her bag, if they ran out they would tell me as she would be wearing nursery knickers and if a pair got used i made sure it was replaced the next day.

Surely they have spare nursery knickers that you then wash and give back to them.

TheScience Wed 12-Mar-14 09:03:57

If you're sending her with plenty of spare knickers and trousers then the nursery absolutely should be changing her into them.

If you are relying on the nursery's own supply of spares then they probably just don't have enough pants.

TheScience Wed 12-Mar-14 09:04:42

Cheshire - nurseries always run out of spare pants/socks because barely anyone actually returns them.

LiberalLibertine Wed 12-Mar-14 09:06:13

Yes, are you providing the spare ones?

Filimou Wed 12-Mar-14 09:06:55

I always thought the onus was on us to provide enough spares. DS barely has accidents now, but we send a few spares in.

ScoutFinchMockingbird Wed 12-Mar-14 10:02:43

Sorry - should have said - I DO provide spare knickers - nursery just don't seem to put them on her!

ScoutFinchMockingbird Wed 12-Mar-14 10:03:21

Send at least 5 pairs!

TheScience Wed 12-Mar-14 10:10:09

Have you asked why they don't use her knickers?

LiberalLibertine Wed 12-Mar-14 10:51:12

Then it's just laziness, although I've had to go back to just trousers no knickers as my dd seems to feel she has a nappy on in knickers, and its setting her back, maybe ask them why they're not putting her knickers on?

ScoutFinchMockingbird Wed 12-Mar-14 12:54:40

Good point Liberal - I hadn't thought about the pants as nappy thing. My DD also did this at first, so that may be why. Will ask as you suggest! (Although I must confess I think it is laziness!)

Groovee Wed 12-Mar-14 15:25:16

I'd ask them. If a child has spares in their bag, then I would put them on. A couple of times I've had to call over to the school for spare pants because people do not return them to us.

Shutupanddrive Wed 12-Mar-14 15:54:44

Ask them?

ScoutFinchMockingbird Wed 12-Mar-14 17:30:13

Ok. Asked them. Apparently they let DD change herself to encourage independence. Sounds like a cop out to me! Thankfully she only has 3 more months with them before EYFS (although she will still have to go in the pm on the days I work).

BackforGood Wed 12-Mar-14 17:56:21

I'm all for encouraging children to dress themselves, but you supervise them and encourage them to do it correctly. Abandoning them is not 'encouraging independence' it is neglecting them.

LiberalLibertine Wed 12-Mar-14 18:16:27

Yes, agree with back, it sounds like they're not even with her!?

ScoutFinchMockingbird Wed 12-Mar-14 18:58:12

I know. Not sure how to tackle it really.

LiberalLibertine Thu 13-Mar-14 02:38:00

I would have thought you bringing it up, would have led to a 'we'll make sure she gets them on' , comment from them hmm

Next time it happens....say 'yes, she's still not getting her pants on, could you just remind her?'

Groovee Thu 13-Mar-14 17:10:59

There's encouraging them and there is being lazy staff wise. To me that is lazy staff wise. You would encourage them to put the pants on first. I'd just ask them to ensure if she has an accident that she has put pants on.

HappyTalking Thu 13-Mar-14 18:32:54

Sounds like laziness. Even if they are letting her do it herself they should be supervising and making sure she has knickers on.

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