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AIBU or is DH? Sit and relax with a cuppa after work or plough on?

(75 Posts)
spottyboobs Wed 12-Mar-14 07:35:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

georgesdino Wed 12-Mar-14 07:37:32

Im like your dh

IwannaSleep Wed 12-Mar-14 07:39:21

I'm with you. Get the jobs done then relax, once I sit down there is no getting me up! Drives me mad as well as my husband needs 'chill out' time after work, which means I've done most of the jobs at that point

Shutupanddrive Wed 12-Mar-14 07:39:46

I don't think anyone is being unreasonable, that's just your choice. I'd rather plough on like you though, then relax when it's all done

CoffeeTea103 Wed 12-Mar-14 07:40:25

Neither of you is being unreasonable. My DH is like yours and I prefer to get things done. At the end of the day if things get done, it doesn't matter about the order of which it's done.

TheDoctorsNewKidneys Wed 12-Mar-14 07:40:46

Neither of you is being unreasonable, it's just personal preference. I don't see what difference it makes as long as it all gets done.

Burren Wed 12-Mar-14 07:40:57

Does his 'sitting down and relaxing' depend on you rushing around cooking and wrangling children, if any? Or is it an impactless decision, apart from dinner being later than you'd like?

Sirzy Wed 12-Mar-14 07:41:04

Why don't you do tea while he relaxes then after tea he takes over and does the other bits while you relax?

ShatnersBassoon Wed 12-Mar-14 07:41:05

I like a little sit down when I come home from a busy day.

NobodyLivesHere Wed 12-Mar-14 07:41:34

I don't think either of you are wrong or unreasonable but I'm like you, eating that late doesn't work for me at all. You need to discuss it and compromise a bit if you can. Maybe you start dinner whilst he relaxes but then after dinner he sorts things whilst you chill.

spottyboobs Wed 12-Mar-14 07:42:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JonSnowsPout Wed 12-Mar-14 07:42:43

I like a sit down so dh does tea and i do the dishes and evening clean up

Nothing more depressing then having a long day and knowing you are going home to do more work.

MangoBiscuit Wed 12-Mar-14 07:44:17

I prefer to crack on, then when I relax I can do so knowing it's all done and the rest of the evening is mine. I don't have lists of jobs to do going round in my head. I also go to bed around 9-9.30 so dinner has to be done by 8. My DH likes to relax first, and get jobs done just before going to bed. Not practical when it's things like vacuuming and I'm already in bed, or cooking dinner. So he has to get things like that done earlier, but anything he needs to that's not dependant on, or affects anyone else, he does when he likes.

Casmama Wed 12-Mar-14 07:45:08

Maybe yo need to cook while he sits down then you can relax and he can wash up in his own time.

perplexedpirate Wed 12-Mar-14 07:45:14

I get home, carry straight on and fall into bed at about 11 like my legs have been cut off.
I'm clearly doing something wrong. hmm

spottyboobs Wed 12-Mar-14 07:46:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ComposHat Wed 12-Mar-14 07:46:41

Is there a difference in your commutes? When I have lived within walking distance to work or a shortish journey on public transport I was quite happy to plough on when I got home. When I've had to negotiate busy traffic in the car I am usually frazzled and needed to sit down.

spottyboobs Wed 12-Mar-14 07:47:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BlackeyedSusan Wed 12-Mar-14 07:47:56

I think an hour or so is too long if it is affecting you. compromise and have a short rest. the probelm with resting when you get in is you then do not want to do anything else.

ThatBloodyWoman Wed 12-Mar-14 07:48:57

You crack on till a certain time.
He then takes over.
Everyone's a winner.

spottyboobs Wed 12-Mar-14 07:50:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

spottyboobs Wed 12-Mar-14 07:51:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Katnisscupcake Wed 12-Mar-14 07:54:49

I prefer to crack on aswell but can't you split it like others have said. Then you get the joy of watching him working once your day is done!! smile

Morloth Wed 12-Mar-14 07:57:00

That is what we do.

I like to get everything done and then sit.

So i keep moving and then we tag.

Works well with the kids too.

I do all the stuff as we get in then DH takes over bath and bed time while i have a shower and chill.

Writerwannabe83 Wed 12-Mar-14 07:59:00

I come in, do all the tasks/housework that needs doing and then crack on with dinner

DH would rather relax sit on his arse and do bugger all as he feels the need to unwind.

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