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Aibu to see this as pedantic?

(19 Posts)
pumpkinsweetie Tue 11-Mar-14 12:26:27

It's probably all been done to death what with the truancy rules & all but would you consider this acceptable for a school to ask and need?

Right my two dd aged 5yo & 3 1/2 yo are to go to speech therapy sessions with me once a week on tues mornings and the odd fri afternoon.
School was given a photocopy of these appointments for 5yo dd as they require proof for all absences or fines may be issued.
Anyhow all well and good but then speech therapist now wants to see 3 1/2 dd on the end of elder dd session so I allow her to miss nursery after phoning the academy.

So I do this 4 weeks in a row with no complaints from school.... until last week when I took dd 5yo and 3 1/2 yo out of nursery/school one fri morning a hr and a bit before appointment (I did phone to arrange in morning although proof for dd5yo is there) and secretary starts raging at me that as I took them so early she will not authorise the afternoon angry although Im on foot so takes me good while to get to appointment, aswell as feed a very small baby. Secretary said it doesn't matter and she will be seeing welfare officer to talk. Fwiw my dc are only ever off for illness & appointmentsangry

Then today upon bringing dd 5yo back to school, I get told that my nursery child needs proof of where she has been. For god sakes where do they think I have been, gran bloody canaria or something.
The school knew of these appointments why can they not take my word for it that my nursery child is joining dd 5yo for speech therapy!

The therapy ended today for the next cohort in june, yet the secretary seems certain I should provide proof although the apps are finished and they never actually added her to the appointments letter. So now I have to phone up and get the speech therapy people to provide proof of appointments we have already had.

Aibu to find this so over the top?
and im right in the fact I cannot be fined for a child under 5 aren't I?

NickNacks Tue 11-Mar-14 12:30:00

If your dd is funded the nursery will have to prove to the LA that her attendance is low for a good reason otherwise try won't be paid.

So yabu as you have signed up to the nursery and need to adhere to their terms and conditions.

pumpkinsweetie Tue 11-Mar-14 13:07:01

It's an academy whereby nursery/lower/upper are deamed joined.

It isn't low NickNak she scored 100% attendance last term. She has had 4 mornings off for these appointments which have as of today finished. I'm just wondering why ask today when it will be harder to obtain proof.
If it was last week I could have got the lady to write & sign a simple note.

The actual nursery is quite happy she attends the appointments and frequently ask of her improvements. It's just this secretary seems to have it in for me as I was told today and last week were okd by another secretary in the same school.

She has also shouted at my special needs child and made us wait outside because my child had a meltdown 2 days post partum after having my newborn in the cold january weather.
She just seems to find reason to look down upon me and I may have to take it further.

DeWe Tue 11-Mar-14 14:16:26

Are you saying that you took both dc out of school 90 minutes before either appointment started?

If so, I can see why the school is making enquiries. Does it really take you 90 minutes (or even 75 minutes) to get there?
I have various appointment for my dc, and if I'm taking them out a long time before the appointment I will check with the school and give my reasoning (eg. need to come out at the end of lunchtime-much easier to do it at the beginning rather than get her out of the playground).

It used to be that the schools just took your word for it, but now they are required to have on file appointment letters.

pumpkinsweetie Tue 11-Mar-14 14:31:04

Yes Dewe. I phoned school prior to appointment, and I was told by a different secretary yes was fine.
It takes me that long as I have to factor in walking there and walking back. My 3yo walks very slow and I also have babys feed to do too.
The appointment also lasts from 30-45 mins aswell so 30 mins there, 30 minutes back and the appointment time too. Also meltdowns from my 5yo also make the walk even longer some days ( she is in the middle of statementing for autism)

ukatlast Tue 11-Mar-14 14:57:28


badtime Tue 11-Mar-14 15:02:32

YABU, it is not pedantic, it is officious.

That is pedantic.

(YANBU, btw)

mymiraclebubba Tue 11-Mar-14 15:09:00

sounds like the secretary today has got her knickers in a twist and probably been dealing with lots of other issues and you have just caught the tail end of it.

I would write to the school/nursery and explain that they had been made aware of these appointments at the time and that you would like to know why you are suddenly being questioned by secretary B about this when secretary A had already accepted and agreed the time off.


pumpkinsweetie Tue 11-Mar-14 17:23:31

I just don't understand why I am being targetted.
I was issued a penalty warning last month as my 5yo had 3 days off over two terms although it clearly stated 10 sessions a term had to be missed for me to inncur a fine so I just don't get why I was ever issued itblush

2 days were for genuine illness d&v but I didn't get 'proof' as dragging all 6 of us out to docs to proof that isn't fair on everyone and the other day was the day I went into labour.

The government got stringent with fines due to term time holidays I suspect but how can I possibly go anywhere in a 2 hour time frame then get them back to school, It would be impossible. Even more so without a car and added to that neither can I for just 2 days off for one child when the other one was clearly at school.
Bonkers completely bonkers, and parents like me that actually give a shit about their children going to school will feel targetted.

Tbh I might aswell turn it into a fecking holiday now if they are going to fine me and I'm going to get shit an important appointment for my speech delayed child. School is now so more important than her speech being severley delayed.... yeh sure

Icimoi Tue 11-Mar-14 18:11:35

Why does the speech therapy have to be so far away? Can you talk to someone about whether it can happen in school? They probably have other children there who receive it.

I know schools are entitled to object to children being taken out of school for thinks like specialist dyslexia tuition, and I can see why they wouldn't be happy with your older dd having so much time out.

RoaringTiger Tue 11-Mar-14 18:15:07

Not sure where abouts you are but in my lea when my dd was having her speech therapy she was always marked as being 'educated off site' the teacher asked me to make sure the receptionist marked her as that when we came in after appointments as she'd being doing it wrong for a few weeks

Jux Tue 11-Mar-14 18:56:12

Have a meeting with the Head or the Deputy Head, to clarify exactly what is required under what circumstances, as you are "confused" by the secretary's demands. Drop her in it, the officious bitch woman.

WilsonFrickett Tue 11-Mar-14 19:01:54

Too right, straight to the HT and then follow up in writing. Bossy school secretaries really boil my piss. Don't let her away with it.

Icimoi with respect, speech therapy appts are like gold dust. And DCs only ever get a six week block, then they are signed off for 6 months, then 6 weeks again. It's hardly weeks off, it's a vital intervention and schools don't get to be unhappy about that imo.

Nanny0gg Tue 11-Mar-14 19:16:53

Icimoi with respect, speech therapy appts are like gold dust. And DCs only ever get a six week block, then they are signed off for 6 months, then 6 weeks again. It's hardly weeks off, it's a vital intervention and schools don't get to be unhappy about that imo.

Absolutely. No school would be telling me that my DC couldn't go to speech therapy!

And when were school secretaries allowed to authorise anything?

Definitely go to the HT.

Whilst I know schools are funded for under-fives, they still don't have to be in full time education, so if I wanted to take my DC out for a reason, I would. When we took DGC out no 'permission' was asked for or expected. Just informed them which day it would be.

redexpat Tue 11-Mar-14 20:08:03

I like jux's suggestion!

monkeysox Tue 11-Mar-14 20:30:05

Nursery is not mandatory they to quiz you about.your 3.5 year old. We are going on holiday using a week of.term time.and mu.ds nursery teacher said it's fine

Littlefish Tue 11-Mar-14 20:33:52

Monkey - nursery is not mandatory, but if you are claiming the 15 hours funding, the local authority can ask for proof of attendance/reason for absence via the nursery.

Cranky01 Tue 11-Mar-14 20:45:50

They are being completely unreasonable, 90 mins earlier than the appointment isn't that much if using public transport, particularly if you're trying to get a pram and 2 dc's on board as well.

Just give them the speech therapist number!

pumpkinsweetie Tue 11-Mar-14 22:04:32

Will do what jux says, cant remember the womans name though so will have to spy her badge by paying dinner money tomorrowgrin then on with the letter to the head

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