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To ask which are more trouble - toddlers or teens

(112 Posts)
ProudAS Tue 11-Mar-14 12:22:51

I'm not a parent myself but I am curious

FrancesNiadova Sat 15-Mar-14 20:37:54

Teens. You can contain a toddler's mess in a small area & win them round with shockingly shallow bribery/rewards. Teens have an apathy to EVERYTHING, that I envy, they mess up your home and your mind

ArmchairDetective Sat 15-Mar-14 20:26:08

My mum always knew where I was when I was a teenager. At home doing my homework usually.

MammaTJ Sat 15-Mar-14 20:23:18

Should have done preview! That looked better before I posted.

MammaTJ Sat 15-Mar-14 20:22:16

Toddlers Teens

You know where they are You have no clue where they are

They wake you at night You stay awake at night wondering if
if they need you. they might need you.

You drive carefully to keep They drive themselves or get into other
them safe. teens cars and goodness knows what
could happen.


Thegingerpig Sat 15-Mar-14 20:15:15

Fecklessdizzy you have given me some light at the end of the tunnel after an exhausting day with 2 toddlers!

ConfusedDotty Sat 15-Mar-14 19:41:23

Teens and even worse in their 20s

CustardOmlet Sat 15-Mar-14 19:40:03

My toddler has headbutt me twice today and screamed on/off for 3hrs, I'm hoping for an improvement in the teenage years (although I get the feeling he will cause me a lot of worry!)

BlackeyedSusan Sat 15-Mar-14 19:39:50

teens. toddlers can be put into time out or carried out of whereever kicking and screaming. I am waiting to see if mine turn out better as teens.

Fecklessdizzy Sat 15-Mar-14 19:36:13

Oooh, give me teens any day! grin They can be left for the evening, they can make their own lunch, they can explain exactly why they are pissed off with the world, they can be bribed to perform useful household tasks ( I need never clean out the gutters again - joy unconfined! ) Their mates recommend good books for you to read ( Scott Lynch - Fab! ) They get things off high shelves in the supermarket, they mostly put themselves to bed, they organise their own social lives ( goodbye play date hell ... ) They are better at crossing the road, they never want to be carried on long walks, you can do your own surfing and not splosh around behind them making sure they don't drown, I could go on and on and on!

In fact I just did!

GertyD Sat 15-Mar-14 18:54:19

They are both pretty bad/amazing in their own ways. At least you can go to the pub and leave the teen unsupervised for a bit grin

BrawToken Sat 15-Mar-14 18:47:52

It depends entirely on the child I suspect, my teen is a 16 and worrying (the usual, parties, drinking, boys) and wonderful (loves helping with small child, housework, doing well enough at school and has a p.t. job) in equal measure and she was a lovely toddler. My 5 year old was a dream toddler but who knows what she will be like...
Teenagers are born incrementally so you don't just wake up with a teenager. I have found each prior step prepares a parent for the next!

singaporefling Sat 15-Mar-14 18:40:32

Without a doubt TEENS.... Toddlerdom/tiredness is all very hard work, but at least you know where they are/what they're doing/their 'problems' are usually smaller/cheaper/easier to sort out... Teens OTOH... More demanding in emotionally challenging/draining ways, some of their issues/problems/demands can be much much more expensive/costly in terms of time/money/peace of mind.... Wouldn't/couldn't be without them of course and they bring much joy/entertainment, but with 3DC's/2SDC's now from 15 to 30, there will be some measure of relief/achievement at seeing them all safely into productive happy healthy adulthood... And we're actually at the GC stage now (aged 4 and 2) so we're back at toddlerdom but get to hand them back after sleepovers grin. I didn't have ANY idea of this before having babies/toddlers/teens/gc, it doesn't seem to matter what you're told, it doesn't mean much until you're in it...

YouStayClassySanDiego Sat 15-Mar-14 18:32:55

Isn't it worth mentioning what personality your toddler had?

My ds' s were all placid and biddable as toddlers, in fact smug mother alert it was 16 that my first son related stress incident kicked in < apart from ds2's Christmas card at primary school issue ooh the shame>.

Teendom is a minefield.

Teendom throws up all kinds of shite.

callmekitten Sat 15-Mar-14 18:28:47

DD is 10yo, so not a teen yet, But I remember people saying that things would be easier when she was a toddler rather than a baby. They weren't easier. And then they said things would be easier once she was in school, but they weren't. I have come to the conclusion that things don't get easier with kids. They just get hard in different ways.

pussycatdoll Sat 15-Mar-14 18:25:12

I think the 16-18 stage is most worrying
Will they do well in their exams, do they want to go to uni, how will they pay for it, if they don't go where will they live ? How will they earn
Will they stay at home forever
The education \ career choices are what I find most stressful

Give me potty training any day

bigbuttons Sat 15-Mar-14 18:13:56

teens are harder no contest. Give me a toddler anyway.

guineapig2014 Sat 15-Mar-14 18:11:54

I'm with OwlCapone on this one. I agree that a toddler would be winey but a teenager would just keep quiet in their bedroom. grin

Bitofkipper Sat 15-Mar-14 18:05:04

I foolishly believed that if your children had a loving and stable upbringing then they would be OK. Silly me!
One teen was heavily into drink, hard drugs and stealing (hasn't ended well)
Other teen academic and sensitive but a huge worry in other ways.

They were lovely toddlers.

PlumProf Sat 15-Mar-14 17:32:12

Toddlers are loads harder. They are 24/7 and can't be reasoned with, and need everything doing for them (washing, cooking, playdates). My teens are delightful, great company, independent and thoughtful. They can cook, travel independently and are great conversationalists. Perhaps I have been lucky or perhaps (my own theory) it is because I have not tried to rule their lives but have trusted them more and more over time. (Girls btw). The only thing is the worry, but that is my problem and not to do with them - I worry about how drivers drive when they are on their bikes going to school/ university, I worry about how safe they are on the night buses home from parties and I worry about how they will afford to live as students. Yes, as Acrylic says, I am sure they drink and are sexually active but that is pretty similar to adults (they are older teens btw) and they manage it whilst still getting top grades and glowing reports so I can't really complain. OTOH my life felt like a living hell of drudgery and boredom when they were toddlers ( it is just possible that I am not good with small children!)

diddl Sat 15-Mar-14 17:31:38


My teens are pretty much self sufficient when necessary, reasonable & can be left!

DramaAlpaca Sat 15-Mar-14 17:24:08

I'm enjoying having teenagers far more than I enjoyed having toddlers.

My three DC are close in age & I found the toddler years really hard work.

I'd rather deal with a teenager any day, despite the inevitable dramas and angst.

BackforGood Sat 15-Mar-14 17:23:47

It's going to depend on the teen, and also on the toddler, obviously, but overall, for me, I LOVE the teen years.
Toddler years tend to be combined with a baby as well, and that usually = sleep deprivation, and I don't do well on sleep deprivation.
When teens are having a strop you can just go without them, but it's frowned upon to leave your two yr old home alone wink

YouStayClassySanDiego Sat 15-Mar-14 17:22:38

Teens are harder, absolutely no sodding contest!

sandalsinthebin Sat 15-Mar-14 17:17:15

Teens no contest. I look back with fondness on the toddler years. I don't look back with any fondness on the teen years.

carolinecupcake Sat 15-Mar-14 17:13:26

Toddlers are physically hard work - I often wonder how I managed when they were little- but then again I was 10 years younger!! I think teens are much more of a worry cos a lot of things are not under your control - schoolwork, friends,internet,personal safety. You can only hope that all the things you tried to teach them as they were growing up are somewhere in there!I think that my life is much more stressful now that I have teens and I can understand why my mum says that no matter how old your kids are, you never stop worrying about them!

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