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to use Married name for family stuff & Prevoius name for work stuff?

(27 Posts)
NoCryingInEngineering Tue 11-Mar-14 09:29:29

For the past 2 years since getting married Ive used my married name for personal/family life & continued to use my original surname for all work activities. My logic was that (pretentious as it sounds) I have a professional identity I dont want to loose. Old Name is destinctive enough that past colleagues can find me easily & work oppurtunities sometimes come up from someone spotting my name in among an email chain and that sort of thing as its a fairly small industry. The side effect of this is my work credit card shows a diffrent name to my drivers license.

Tried to pick up a (work booked) hire car yesterday. Went armed with both parts of drivers license, proof of adress and cc as requested by hire company but the administrator at the hire company gave me the full 'computer says no'. Policy apparently dictates card name must match license name. Only exeption would be if I brought my marriage certificate along. Asked what would happen if work admin booked on a diffrent card. Computer aparentley would still say no.

Gave up and walked round the corner to hire company #2 who had no problem at all with card being in a different name to license, and were apologetic they only had tiny cars left...

So AIBU to have a 'work name' and a 'family name'? Passport btw shows married name with a note stating this person may also travel as Ms Old Surname

holycowwhatnow Tue 11-Mar-14 09:33:41

YANBU, do whatever you want.

gasman Tue 11-Mar-14 09:33:43

Loads of my colleagues do it is not an unusual situation

There is certainly an option to get something inserted into your passport "also known as..." Not sure about driving licences.

I also remember a rather nice female lawyer who use to come through my till when I was a student working as a check out operator who had this issue too - she always had masses of ID as if expecting a battle when writing high value checks (shows age)

WholeNutt Tue 11-Mar-14 09:34:41

YNBU I do the same, I do a lot of travel for work outside of the UK and it's such an arse ache to change all visas, passport etc so I have kept my maiden name haven't changed anything but will use my married name for non important things.

Nocomet Tue 11-Mar-14 09:44:29

Not unusual at all.

My favourite lecturer always went by her first married name. Even though her second DH worked next door.

As a research scientist you simply keep the name you first published in.

almondcake Tue 11-Mar-14 09:49:31

I know various women who have done this and have had similar problems to you, particularly with travel.

I don't think you are unreasonable to call yourself whatever you want, but I think the whole name changing thing is a bit silly anyway. I just kept my maiden name when I got married.

PickleSarnie Tue 11-Mar-14 09:50:08

I do the same. It's a pain in the arse though. I only changed to my married name initially to cash cheques people gave us when we got married that were addressed to "Mr and Mrs MarriedName". When we tried to open a joint bank account it was a nightmare because no bank would accept my passport in my maiden name and a marriage certificate. Which was bizarre. So I gave up and changed the name on my bank account and added my husband to it.

My passport expired two years after I got married so now that's in my married name. I changed it at the doctors just so I had the same last name as my children.

I never changed it at work. Not really for any professional reasons but I quite like being the "old me" at work. I've had my old name for a pretty long time thatiI'm quite attached to it.

Problem with not doing a "big bang change" and changing everything at once is that you forget where you've changed it and you feel like a bit a prat when someone asks your name and you can't remember.

My passport and drivers licence have different names, my bank card has one and my credit card has another. It's probably easier to just change it everywhere. But I'm not going to .

Clobbered Tue 11-Mar-14 09:51:59

I do this. I have my passport in married name and driving license in maiden name, so I always have photo ID in whichever name is required. Also have joint accounts with DH at two different banks in different names. It has covered all eventualities in the last 20-something years.

kerala Tue 11-Mar-14 09:52:40

Fair enough lots of women at work did this. Was a pita for them though especially when booking flights if name is different on passport and booking that's another £100 odd for easy jet....personally I would go completely with one name or the other admin is balls aching enough!

GarthsUncle Tue 11-Mar-14 09:57:44

One of my friends married early and did what you did - she then advised the rest of us against it for the reasons you describe!

catkind Tue 11-Mar-14 10:00:49

I thought legally speaking you can only have one name at a time?

ajandjjmum Tue 11-Mar-14 10:07:33

I've done this for nearly 30 years! Maiden name for most things - especially work - and married name largely for anything family connected.

But my passport and driving licence both incorporate the two names, which I find a bit pretentious, but the simplest way to do it.

I do have to book flights in the 'two names together', but car hire etc. has always been fine with me just using one of the names.

PickleSarnie Tue 11-Mar-14 10:08:24

No catkind you can be known as whatever you want unless you have intent to defraud by using a different name.

At least I'm pretty sure that's the case.

NoCryingInEngineering Tue 11-Mar-14 10:15:33

I suspect changing the name on my drivers license may have been a tactical error. Having 1 piece of photo ID in each name would be handy. But changing it back would be hard.

Flying hasnt been an issue as my passport shows both names.

In some ways I wish I hadnt bothered at all and I dont think DH would have been that fussed. In other ways though with our first baby on the way it makes those bits of admin easier.

I suspect I just got the hire car administrator on a bad day and it was easier to say no than yes. Fortunatley their competitors didnt agree.

Welshwabbit Tue 11-Mar-14 10:23:34

I've kept my maiden name on my driving licence and my passport is in my married name - the theory being that (as NoCryingInEngineering says) I have one piece of photo ID in each name as I use my maiden name for work. I only passed my driving test last month, though, so haven't had much chance to put the theory into practice! I got married 7 1/2 years ago and have used my maiden name for work and my married name for personal stuff ever since, and the only problem it's caused me is trying to remember the name I booked my hotel/tickets etc in!

MaidOfStars Tue 11-Mar-14 10:27:28

It's not unreasonable to do what you want, but (alongside a principled decision) I couldn't be arsed with the hassle of different names for different things and my maiden name is the one most important to my professional profile.

I'm not sure I see any great importance in which name is on a council tax bill smile.

eurochick Tue 11-Mar-14 10:31:29

It's not unreasonable but as you've discovered it can cause some admin issues and inconvenience. Personally I think sticking to one name is easier than trying to use both for different things.

bertiesgal Tue 11-Mar-14 10:40:10

I did this, mainly through laziness but it's also quite nice to leave Dr blah at the door and become mrs bertiesgal when I enter the chaotic loveliness of family life. On a psychological level it's a bit like like taking off your work clothe when you get home.

However, when things come up for renewal I'm changing them to my married name. It's a gradual process but I think that I'll keep my maiden name for work. My mum keeps reminding me that it wasn't my husband who put me through uni so why should he get the credit? wink (I think she's joking).

My passport is still in my single name and I always panic a little when I'm taking the kids abroad without DH but it has never been an issue.

Egusta Tue 11-Mar-14 10:48:10

I do exactly this. Has never been a problem. Just remember to book flights in the name in your passport.

DescribeTheRuckus Tue 11-Mar-14 10:50:55

I am double barrelled without a hyphen, so I use the double barrelled name professionally (my MA and PhD are in my double barrelled name), former students/colleagues can still use or find me via my maiden name, and I use my married name for anything to do with DCs or our social circle. It is a bit of faff, but it seems to work fine for me.

evertonmint Tue 11-Mar-14 10:54:45

I do this for the same reasons as you. I have driving licence in maiden name and passport in married name so I have photo ID in each. I have personal and business accounts and all tax in maiden name, and joint account in married name. There's no law which states you have to be one or the other and you can use as many names as you want provided you aren't trying to deceive anybody. Occasionally (when paying a married name cheque into maiden name account) the bank tries to persuade me I need to change my name but really I think that's just because it would make their lives easier. Otherwise no problems and it's been like this for 7 years.

ksrwr Tue 11-Mar-14 11:19:07

i've been doing exactly this for a while now, has never been an issue.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo Tue 11-Mar-14 11:27:04

I imagine if you'd had your passport showing both names you'd have been fine. It's not an unusual thing to do (the norm in certain professions) but it's understandable that the hire company want to be clear who they are hiring to.

Playdoughcaterpillar Tue 11-Mar-14 11:36:24

I do same, all my certificates and qualifications related to work are in my maiden name as i did them before i married. I use my married name for everything else other than work. It has never been a problem but i don't have to travel for work. All my ID in is married name. I agree it is nice to have your work persona and leave it at the door when you come home. Helps me switch off.

CaurnieBred Tue 11-Mar-14 11:40:17

I kept my maiden name at work, but only within the work/email environment. In all other ways/documentation I use my married name.

The HR database at work has my married name listed as "Other Name" so it is in their system. When I am traveling with work, my travel profile has it listed that the name on my credit card, passport and driving license is my married name, and not my maiden name, so all hotels/car hire are booked appropriately.

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