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Which would you choose for kids: a SAHP, private schooling or a secure retirement?

(433 Posts)
EducationalOldie Mon 10-Mar-14 18:15:30

I am "lucky" enough to have inherited a mortgage free property in my early 30s. At present, I am on a maternity from a well paying job (with good prospects). DH is in a steady job decent pay but not much chance of big pay rises in the future. We have 3DC, 7, 4 and a baby.

At the moment we are renting the inherited property out and the income would be sufficient for one of us to be a SAHP. Makes sense to be DH as I have potential to earn more but he doesn't really want to whereas I'd love to but might never get back into my career, however I work v long stressful hours with 2.5hr round trip commute and was on the verge of quitting when I got pregnant with DC3.

The alternatives seem to be that we keep the property for a sure fire pension provision (mine is non existent so far) or use it to pay for the kids' private schooling. At a push we could both work full time long hours and use the rent and income to pay school fees and property would be there as a fall back safety net in case it proved unaffordable. We'd only pay for secondary so we'd only have 2 DC in at any one time, but might struggle with one at uni and 2 at secondary school.
We own the home we live in with a little bit of equity and a fair size mortgage but want to keep that and pay off the mortgage over time as we would have done in the normal course of events as we're both young.

WWYD with an inheritance like this? I definitely don't want to sell the property now as I think it's a great long term investment, but want to secure ours/the children's long term future. Part of that might be having one parent at home for them, not both working long hours.

missymarmite Mon 10-Mar-14 18:26:55

I wouldn't pay for private schooling. I'd go back to work if I liked it so much and pay for wrap around childcare so that dh could also continue working, and keep the property and start paying into a pension.

Bonsoir Mon 10-Mar-14 18:28:38

Go and live in catchment for really good state schools.

WooWooOwl Mon 10-Mar-14 18:28:53

I'd have a SAHP at least for now, rent the property out and save what you can to help them through university.

As long as you have access to very good state schools, I don't think private is worth it. I went private btw. If you dont have good state schools near you then it would be wory considering.

Dinosaursareextinct Mon 10-Mar-14 18:31:06

Keep the property to fund your retirement. Use the income to allow you to find a less well paid job closer to home, and to pay for any necessary educational expenses - eg if your local comp isn't great you could move your DCs to private for the 3 years up to GCSE, then move back into state for 6th form college.

manicinsomniac Mon 10-Mar-14 18:31:45

Private schooling I think. I don't think being a SAHP has any benefits and building a secure retirement comes through working.

limon Mon 10-Mar-14 18:36:37

Not the schooling.

A word of advice. Start contributing to a pension now. I'm 45 with a two year old and deeply regret not thinking about a pension earlier.

EducationalOldie Mon 10-Mar-14 18:37:30

Eldest are in an excellent primary but the secondary provision is dire where we are currently, we don't have middle schools here so would be looking at private from 11-16 then possibly back into state run 6th form college. Moving is a possibility for secondary but if we moved we'd have to disrupt primary education, I guess either in yr 5 or 6 for eldest and middle child would be yr 2 or 3. Moving also means all good primaries would be full!

Sorry this was meant to be in chat but I guess it's an AIBU if I choose one option over the others...,

BlackholesAndRevelations Mon 10-Mar-14 18:42:11

"I don't think being a sahp has any benefits"- really? This is interesting; can you elaborate?

Op- as you don't like your job I agree finding a lower paid one but one which gives you a better work/life balance would be best perhaps.

allisgood1 Mon 10-Mar-14 18:47:51

I would stay home until the kids are in school and then look for something part time. You can only raise your children once.

Damnautocorrect Mon 10-Mar-14 18:47:54

If you'd be happy at home as a sahp do that, your incredibly fortunate. What a lovely gift you've been left. Than when little ones are older retrain / find a better work life balance job which will allow you to squirrel for Uni / retirement

EducationalOldie Mon 10-Mar-14 18:48:08

Local less stress would be great but am in a niche profession, would need a rethink of profession to work locally.... Definitely worth thinking about though

givemeaclue Mon 10-Mar-14 18:52:46

Secure retirement. I would be bored as sahm and we moved to be near great state schools

CinderellaRockefeller Mon 10-Mar-14 18:54:03

I don't understand why you can't rent it out and keep it as an investment?

Is it somewhere that will appreciate in value? (London) Take out an interest only mortgage on it and put the cash into a tax efficient education fund for your children. The you will be able to pay the fees, and (presuming the property value rises) you'll still have your investment to cash in. Or if the rent will cover the cost of a capital plus interest mortgage it can be paying the mortgage off and you'll have your full investment back at the end of a 25 year term, AND have paid for the fees (within reason - unless it's a particularly fancy property then Eton is probably out).

Lottiedoubtie Mon 10-Mar-14 18:56:45

Depends how much you love working.

Either move very close to an excellent state secondary school and be a SAHM.

Or Private Schooling, working and paying for it (with income from the rental). This should allow you to continue to build a pension and you would have this plus two mortgage free properties to play with in retirement.

HRHLadyG Mon 10-Mar-14 18:57:58

Rent out the property. Buy a modest one to live in. Pay for Secondary School.

BethGoLightly Mon 10-Mar-14 19:00:03

I would live life as though you hadn't inherited the second property iyswim. See how state education goes and go down the path as if the inherited property doesn't exist but just bank the rent. You never know where life takes you or what will happen. Don't sell it and go back to work if you want to, face private education if you really, really need it but go down the state education path for the time being. Private education isn't necessarily the best route.

firesidechat Mon 10-Mar-14 19:00:28


My children are grown up, but I bet that's what they would say too. I might even ask them.

There are good and bad state and private schools, so it's hard to say.

I don't know your ages, but there may well be time to pay extra into a pension later on. The inherited house can always be sold to help in your old age.

I strongly dispute the comment by one poster that there are no benefits to being a sahm. I think there are many for both parents and children, just as there are benefits to both parents working.

dramajustfollowsme Mon 10-Mar-14 19:00:39

I am in a similar position having inherited after both my parents died. We have decided that I will be a SAHM until the youngest is starting school. I'm currently pregnant but won't be going back after this, our second child.
I love my job but not where I work. I figured if my parents were around, I'd have them to help me with childcare but not so much money. I am using the money to help with childcare at the moment, ie losing my salary for a while.
The difference is, it should be ok to get back into my job.
Good luck with your decision. I found it quite difficult as I wanted to make the best of what I had been given.
I know this is the best idea for our family just now. I will figure out the future, in the future.

HappyMummyOfOne Mon 10-Mar-14 19:01:00

I'd keep it and rent it out. You could use the money towards uni costs or private schooling if you really feel your local schools are that bad. Then you still have the property for retirement.

Like manic, i dont feel a SAHP brings any benefits that a WOHP cant provide.

expatinscotland Mon 10-Mar-14 19:02:23

Private schooling.

AnnieLobeseder Mon 10-Mar-14 19:03:25

BlackholesAndRevelations - I'd assume the OP means that the DC of families where one parent stayed at home and where both parents worked generally turn out pretty much the same.

Some people enjoy being at home, and for some families the logistics are much easier with a SAHP. But there's certainly no evidence of long-term benefit to the children (or damage due to there not being a SAHP, if you prefer to look at it that way).

AnnieLobeseder Mon 10-Mar-14 19:04:15

Sorry, not the OP, manicinsomniac.

justmyview Mon 10-Mar-14 19:04:59

Let's hope this doesn't turn into another SAHM v WOHM debate (yawn).

Bowlersarm Mon 10-Mar-14 19:06:40

Private schooling, after you have posted your subsequent posts.

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