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I have no idea when I should bring this up! Help!

(10 Posts)
NobodyLivesHere Mon 10-Mar-14 17:47:45

I'm single, my ex and I split up 18 months ago after 11 years together, i have 3 children 10/9 and 6, I'm still (relatively!) young at 33 and now feel ready to get back into dating etc.
My problem is that I am unable to have anymore children (and tbh probably wouldn't want any even if I could), so when is the 'right' time to being this up with a man?! I mean clearly it's not a topic for a first date, but equally it seems pretty pointless and disengeuous to start something with an man who wants children at some point.

(Also, am I maybe BVU to even be thinking about this before I've even been on a date???)

FunkyBoldRibena Mon 10-Mar-14 18:00:28

What the topic arises; is usually a good time.

Innogen Mon 10-Mar-14 18:03:28

Is slip it into dating, ask if the man wants anymore kids. Maybe after 5 or so dates, when still dating but boyfriend status may be on the cards.

Maybe make a mental note that someone who feels as though their family is already complete may be a good match for you.

Innogen Mon 10-Mar-14 18:04:11

You don't even have to tell them that you can't have them, just say that you don't want anymore.

TheGirlFromIpanema Mon 10-Mar-14 18:05:02

When I was still un-cynical enough to be dating grin I used to make sure it was dropped into conversation pretty early on tbh and I'm a few years older.
So many datee's are doing things at least 10 years behind what I'd consider usual and so it wasn't t unusual to meet a man who was still "considering" having children in his early 40's hmm

jojane Mon 10-Mar-14 18:06:36

I expect there will be plenty of men like you separated/divorced with children who also do not want any more children

ikeaismylocal Mon 10-Mar-14 18:07:14

I would just slip it into conversation, so when you are talking about your kids say something like "my kids are 10, 9 and 6, 3 kids is a lovely number, I knew I'd stop at 3 when dc3 was born"

Good luck with the dating, I am sure there are loads of men out there who don't want babies.

lainiekazan Mon 10-Mar-14 18:08:33

Perhaps when the issue of any contraception arises?!

paxtecum Mon 10-Mar-14 18:49:18

I think a lot of men would be very relieved.

theimposter Mon 10-Mar-14 20:18:41

If you are planning on internet dating is it something you could mention in your personal profile? Then you are not wasting your time with people not on the same wavelength. Eg. I have 3 lovely children and whilst I love being a mum am now looking for someone who I can enjoy new adventures with having come past that stage in my life.

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