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to not understand why my dps exW hates me?

(6 Posts)
MamaSmurf99 Mon 10-Mar-14 14:59:06

Dp and his exW separated because she cheated with upwards of ten people. I met dp three months later and we were happy, she was furious and would say they were sleeping together, report me for benefit fraud (I'd recently separated from my abusive husband and was living with my dd in a hostel), report me to social services etc. They have two children and I treat them well, they openly tell me they love me, are happy to come to us etc.

Its been five years now and still she continues with the vendetta - reporting me to tax credits, my employer, social services and so on. My exH has a new partner and as far as I'm concerned, as long as she treats my child well that's where my interest ends. Aibu to be sick of her behaviour and not understand why she hates me so much?

TillyTellTale Mon 10-Mar-14 15:02:38

They may have split because she cheated, but perhaps she was expecting him to forgive her and try and work through it.

She may be convinced he would have come back, if he hadn't met you.

TillyTellTale Mon 10-Mar-14 15:04:11

If I'm right, it's not personal. She'd hate any woman whom she could see as having got in the way.

MamaSmurf99 Mon 10-Mar-14 15:07:32

Yes she did say to him that she presumed he'd forgive her and asked for him back 6 months into our relationship. However now she's very vocal about how glad she is that they're divorced and has a new partner and children. Surely anyone could see that if they treated someone that badly it's inevitably their fault the relationship ended?

ADishBestEatenCold Mon 10-Mar-14 15:12:52

It all sounds awful MamaSmurf and, on the face of it, it does sound as if she would be like that with any new woman, as Tilly suggests.

Can I ask how you know that it is she who is reporting you to tax credits, your employer, social services, etc? Does she tell you when she reports you? If so, how does she tell you, texts, mail, face-to-face, etc?

I would imagine that, if it's provable that it is she who is reporting you, what you are describing constitutes harassment.

TillyTellTale Mon 10-Mar-14 15:27:31

<shrug> Not sure how to put this. I like to think of myself as a moral person, who would never cheat, and i haven't. But truth is, I've never even experienced temptation-I've never met a man whom I'd want to cheat on my husband with! If she cheated on him that many times, I'm guessing she obviously felt rather differently and she frequently met men she found equally or more attractive.

Obviously she may have accepted he'd be upset, and that that would be her fault, but perhaps she honestly never expected he'd move on and meet someone else. She expected him to huff about for a while, and decide he'd rather be with her than on his own?

It's her problem, not yours.

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