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To think that some people are their own worst enemy ?

(10 Posts)
DesiderataDisciple Sun 09-Mar-14 15:57:48

Facebook related - won't bore with highly intimate details, just an outline.

A mum at our school, seems lonely (seems to have gone NC with her ex H), often mildly attention seeks on F/B and would like to be more "in" with the year group, IMHO, a quite friendly group of mums, than she is. From passing conversations I can see that too much of her company would be fairly irritating in a "poor me"/serially taking offence kind of way and presumably others have been there, got the t-shirt and withdrawn from socialising with her above the polite minimum.

From the early days of reception class, most of us accepted each other, including her, as F/B friends, mostly for ease of communication about school related stuff.

This morning she took offence at a totally harmless posting by one person which had nothing to do with her at all, so effectively butted in, just to take offence thereby causing loads of grief/hassle and being a total time thief in terms of messaging to sort out so everyone was happy again. She doesn't seem to need to work so wasting time at the weekend placating others etc. isn't a problem for her, she's got all the time in the world to pursue hobbies etc whilst most of us are caring for younger children/babies Mon-Fri. or at work.

Facebook is a very useful tool for busy people, as many of us parents are, we've commented that we'd be lost without it (we're a fairly intelligent and sensible bunch plus no-one has pulled this sort of stunt before), but clearly it becomes the work of the devil in the hands of mischief makers.

I'm pondering whether to de-friend or not, I'm fuming really that she tried to cause serious trouble for one of our group.

rookiemater Sun 09-Mar-14 16:08:38

I'm not sure if you can de-friend on Fb without the other person knowing, if you can't then I think that would cause more drama in itself and possibly a tedious confrontation. Besides which you'll still see her posts if she is contributing to shared threads. Personally I'd do nothing atm.

FutTheShuckUp Sun 09-Mar-14 16:09:10

You sound a delight, I can really see why she'd want to get 'in' with you...btw are you all 11?

ThreeBeeOneGee Sun 09-Mar-14 16:12:57

On Facebook, you can hide someone's posts from your newsfeed. You can also hide any, some or all of your future status updates from them. All without needing to defriend, and all without the person knowing. Problem solved.

AgentZigzag Sun 09-Mar-14 16:26:47

Why try and discredit the OP by suggesting she's immature FutThe?

Don't you know any adults in RL who have a problem with another adult? I've found most people do at some point.

I think the only way they can find out whether you've blocked them OP is if they've got an app on Chrome etc, like the one I have called FBP which tells you if you've been dumped grin Better to be the dumper than the dumpee.

AfroditeJones Sun 09-Mar-14 16:30:17

Maybe she will soon realise that you are a kind of Wendy and off she will go to find a more suitable group.

I bet you she already heard rumours that you and other find ^ too much of her company would be fairly irritating^ and she is sensing she is not fitting in well but hopeful she can have any sort of relationship with the mums her child goes to school with.

You are an adult, just de-friend and ignore her FB antics. Let the other make up their own polite but distant at the gates without being fake and soon she will live you alone.


Alisvolatpropiis Sun 09-Mar-14 17:19:23

De-friend her. She's unlikely to directly confront you about it, people very rarely do.

brokenhearted55a Sun 09-Mar-14 17:22:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DesiderataDisciple Sun 09-Mar-14 17:24:11

As to be expected - the usual knee-jerk copycat "are you X years old ?" to imply we are immature. I'm not part of a central in crowd, I don't have time but it's nice, when I have got the time, to not feel so out of the loop info wise that I can't join in easily.

I think if you RT(F)T properly you'll see that that immaturity/cliques is far from the situation.

I can summarise it further for those who are "hard of original thought".

Most of us want to use F/B because we've found it a useful tool, not because we, virtually speaking, use it for the pegging out of dirty laundry for all to see, nor for posting all sorts of drivel or picking fights.

We want to continue to have access to this handy resource for generally all keeping in touch without always having to resort to chinese whispers/having to get together for coffee in little groups etc.

I'm about as far from Wendyism as you could get but thanks for that though provoking post Afrodite. I've chatted to this lady when she's been stood on her own at parties and that's when I then formed my own opinion of why she is mostly on her own. My dc didn't go to the pre-school attached the school like her child and many others did so I was behind the curve on meeting her but in time formed my own opinion because I'm independent minded and fairly tolerant compared to some folks !

I personally am part of the section of society responsible for aging/health challenged parents and young children at the same time, I do not spend much time hanging around school gates but and friendly to all I meet at drop off/pick-up. That's why F/B is so handy for staying in touch with the other parents/keeping up to date with school matters.

kim147 Sun 09-Mar-14 17:34:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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