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to wonder why companies assume everyone has a mum

(13 Posts)
taratamara Sun 09-Mar-14 15:24:12

sad I'm getting emails saying 'do xyz for your mum' 'tara, send your mum...' etc
my mum's been dead a number of years. But it's still a little upsetting and I wonder why companies do this

MamaPain Sun 09-Mar-14 15:25:41

It is annoying, but mainly it's because I suppose everyone does technically have a mum, just for some they are no longer with us.

It's a bit like the assumption that everyone has a valentine or celebrates christmas or birthdays.

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 09-Mar-14 15:30:14

It's mass marketing.

Most people do have a mum.

brokenhearted55a Sun 09-Mar-14 15:41:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SometimesLonely Sun 09-Mar-14 15:45:58

Yes, but you get these e-mails because you've applied for something / left details somewhere / written to someone on the internet. If you've had to enter your age and you are 82, why do they assume that you have parents?

I'm nowhere near not 82 but do receive that sort of e-mail. In a way, it's a bit hurtful / insensitive. But they don't care, do they, because they hope we'll forward the e-mail to someone who does have a mother ....

My mother's been dead for 5 years now.

taratamara Sun 09-Mar-14 15:56:56

I sort of get it if it's a 'gift' company, although it still feels very insensitive if your mum's dead, but the one that sparked this aibu was a train company - so yes I might have ticked that I wanted train tickets but not expecting an email 'show mum some love this mothers day' 'go visit mum on the train'

Kewcumber Sun 09-Mar-14 16:03:03

Because mothers day is to celebrate your mother confused how do you advertise something for mothers day without mentioning mothers?

They also assume you have a father and DS doesn't - he's 8 and has coped pretty well and understands that sometimes people talk about what the majority have/do. If he can cope at 4/5/6/7/8 then I'm sure you can find it it yourself to cope too.

I can imagine if your mother is recently dead then it would make you wince everytime initially but you can't go for the lowest common denominator all the time.

I don't have a partner, it doesn't bother me to see advert aimed at "husbands".

I'm sorry it upsets you but I think YABU.

taratamara Sun 09-Mar-14 16:08:06

point taken but I think it'd be better not to use the persons actual name in the email at least, and to perhaps just word things a bit more sensitively if it's email marketing?

CrapBag Sun 09-Mar-14 16:10:09

Sorry but yabu.

I hate the security question of "what's your mother's maiden name" More. My mum disowned me when I was 4 after treating me appallingly for 4 years. I don't need constant reminding of this every time I sign up to something. I do accept mothers day though as many people out there either have a mum or are one.

rogueelement Sun 09-Mar-14 16:39:15


I just saw the same train company advert (email title line 'Rogue, Show mum some love this mother's day') and I was irritated, too. My mother died when I was a tiny baby, so I have never had a mum.

General mother's day advertising is absolutely fine, but in your inbox, 'personalised' with your name, it's annoying and insensitive. Lots of people have lost their mothers and many will be feeling raw about it. There are better subject lines.

bluestar2 Sun 09-Mar-14 17:50:53

I get the sensitivity. My mum died last year so this is first without her and all the flowers and advertising is starting to bug me. I just try and ignore as much as poss.

Not reasonable to get rid of all the advertising sadly.

truelymadlysleepy Sun 09-Mar-14 17:56:12

Honestly it's just shit mass marketing.
Same as me getting endless phone calls about being mis sold PPI, when i've never bought it in the first place.
Delete/spam them and try not to dwell.

thesecowsaresmallthosearefaraw Sun 09-Mar-14 18:01:04

YA so absolutely not BU.

Mothers' Day should be for families to celebrate among themselves, not a sickly mass marketing event.

Some mums are dead, some mums are abusive, some mums lost their children beforr they were born. Some dads do all the work of mums, and yes, even go to Iceland.

I doubt many people need to be reminded by a train company to go and see their mums.

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