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To think that garden politics are really hard!

(42 Posts)
Fifyfomum Sun 09-Mar-14 13:33:01

We have a nice sized garden, separated by a chain link fence, I have two very young children - 20 months and 3 and they have been out playing today. The neighbours children are naturally inquisitive - as are mine and have been peering over the fence for most of the time that we have been out.

I just came in to put the youngest down for a nap, leaving my three year old outside on his own and watched him playing on the slide alone and looking wistfully over at the family in the next garden while I did the washing up. They didnt invite him over, the parents don't seem keen and the kids really wanted him there so invited him over themselves only to be shouted at by their parents. It is now really uncomfortable in the garden. I finished the washing up and covered the decking in toy cars, things to make tunnels with an a plastic garage and my boy is now really enjoying his own company playing and having fun so the roles are reversed but I dont think the other parents would want their kids in my garden and I'm not out there with them so wouldnt want to offer.

Would it be unreasonable to erect a big fence as soon as is possible and shield myself from child disappointment and all this worry?

Fifyfomum Sun 09-Mar-14 17:19:37

Well its hardly AC-DC, I play very softly.

Anyway, its my garden and I will play the guitar if I want to.

Fifyfomum Sun 09-Mar-14 17:21:07

You could invest in a radio, if your neighbour making noise is not nice for you?

I think it is a bit much to expect people to be silent in their own gardens.

MamaPain Sun 09-Mar-14 17:27:43

YANBU. I love a good fence. 3 is a difficult age in that you couldn't just let them run around without watching.

Once the neighbours and your son are older it will be easier as they will play together without the need for parental involvement.

We have a fence but in the summer because all the kids play together we each lift a fence panel out during the day and they've got the run of the gardens. Being able to put it back in when necessary is a joy though.

Anonymai Sun 09-Mar-14 17:28:59

I don't expect silence. I'm offering the opinion that if you sit and sing outside, people are going to hear and some people will comment. If you don't like people hearing and commenting, don't play. It doesn't take much brain power to work that out. I play mine inside because I'm not up for an audience.

Fifyfomum Sun 09-Mar-14 17:31:11

I play the guitar far far quieter than I talk, I sing far quieter than I talk, especially when learning a song, you dont belt it out you just sing quietly to keep the rhythm.

I don't really care what you do/don't do in your garden. I suppose I dont really mind them listening if that is what they want to do but I dont require constant questions about everything that I do in my own garden.

Anonymai Sun 09-Mar-14 17:37:27

Gosh, you're an arsey fucker. I was telling you what I do to point out you are a big girl now and can make choices like the rest of us. If you choose to play outside, people will be forced to listen if they are out there (whether they want to or not). And some of those people will be children who will assume they can ask questions.

Fifyfomum Sun 09-Mar-14 17:47:37

There is only one person on this thread being an arsey fucker. People in glass houses and all that.

You have made assumptions and I have told you the reality. I do not sit outside and make a load of noise banging away on the guitar, its absolutely not my style.

I think that I have every right to sit in my own garden and do whatever the hell I like without being given the third degree by a child whose parents are quite happy to have their kids interrogating me but will not acknowledge that my kids exist. I'm putting a fence up and continuing to play my guitar, in peace. Without an ounce of arse fuckeryness.

BudsBeginingSpringinSight Sun 09-Mar-14 19:30:01

Op get yourself a nice fence, its awkward, and they sound strange anyway.

I wonder why a 12 year old wouldnt be allowed in a garden.

Fifyfomum Sun 09-Mar-14 19:54:41

Incase she falls over, apparently. I don't know they are very cautious with their children. Which is fine, they are entitled to do that but it means they would never let their children play at our house incase of 'risk' I don't think they are allowed to play round any friends house. I think a fence must be bought. I have my screening coming tomorrow which will do until the autumn.

2468Motorway Sun 09-Mar-14 20:01:55

I might have missed it but how le are your neighbours children?

2468Motorway Sun 09-Mar-14 20:02:20

Sorry, how old?

Fifyfomum Sun 09-Mar-14 20:05:46

25 months
7 and 12

2468Motorway Sun 09-Mar-14 20:14:49

Were they all out there?

I ask because I'm quite friendly and I like the neighbours children and I'm happy for them to come to play. However other people's children need much more watching in an unfamiliar environment and if their kids are older a much lighter touch parenting is ok compared to a 3 yr old.

I think you are overreacting a bit though. They might just have been busy/embarrassed about the mess in the kitchen/house. I'd carry on being nice and see how it pans out before investing in a massive fence.

Fifyfomum Sun 09-Mar-14 20:29:54

Yes they were all outside, as was I for most of it, or just inside the kitchen looking out of the window.

The thing is, it upset my little boy, he was invited over to play one minute then told 'no' obviously they were able to join in games and he couldn't and I don't want him to experience that sadness ever just yet.

I just want a bit of privacy in my garden I think, it sounds like they do too.

Fifyfomum Sun 09-Mar-14 21:28:36

I've found some cheap new screening in wickes so tomorrow I will be going to buy an armful and I'll get it up on the fence.

TeaAndALemonTart Sun 09-Mar-14 21:44:42

Maybe you could invite them into your garden?

I would never live in a house without a fence of at least 5" because I like my privacy too much, so know exactly what you mean though.

Fifyfomum Sun 09-Mar-14 22:04:18

They wouldn't let their children play here incase they fell over. The thought would just be too much for them.

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