to ask you how you split your money in your marriage/partnership?

[Objection]

I always thought Oh and my arrangement was pretty normal - we calculate our shared costs (mortgage, bills, food etc) and split them in two. We then both put that about plus about 5% or so into a joint account. The rest of our money is for ourselves and treat each other as we see fit.
But after some previous advice here and from reading other threads it seems this method is largely viewed as selfish or weird...
We don't have children but I imagine when we do we'll just roughly calculate the extra costs and split them too.

How do other people manage theirs?

[harriet247]

50/50 now but before kids we did same as you :)

[SamanthaJones]

We put it all into a joint account and spend what we need. 2 children, healthy (6 figure) income.

[holidaysarenice]

I think your way is fine if your incomes are roughly equal.

Its more difficult when one earns 20k and the other 40k.

Just do what works for you guys.

[MissCalamity]

Before children we did the same, both put x amount into a joint account as we were both on similar wages. Then we had pur own money to spend on what we wanted.

Since DS arrived 4 years ago, I now only work 28 hours a week and DP has got a new job with a better salary. We both put 60% of our net monthly wage into the joint account, this has worked really well for us.

[SamanthaJones]

The trouble is, that once you have children, unless you both work FTOTH and earn the same, it's a bit unfair if the WOTH prison has more money than the SAHP. The SAHP is facilitating th WOTH person.

[SamanthaJones]

Bear in mind too that if you're married it's ALL joint marital assets whether you like it or not

[ChocolateSnowflakes]

We put all of our money together, deduct all of our monthly expenses from there (bills as well as anything we need to spend on DD), give ourselves some "fun money" each (50:50) and then save anything that's left over.

[RufusTheReindeer]

Always put our money into a joint account, even when I earned less than my husband.

Now I only earn £115 per month (dinner lady) and it's still in the joint account

[Wurstwitch]

All wages go into joint account. All bills paid from this account.

We both transfer out what we need into sole accounts, have sole credit cards through sole accounts etc.

Three kids. Dh earns four times my salary due to my many years sahm/ pt in crappy paid but family friendly jobs. We both work ft.

[Bunbaker]

Like SamanthaJones all of our income goes into a joint account and we spend what we need, although we don't have anything like a 6 figure income.

We have been doing this since 1981 and it works for us. Unless you are married to someone who is rubbish with money or untrustworthy I don't get the "his money her money" scenario.

[oneofthosedays]

If it's working for you then it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. DH and I put everything together and have an allowance for personal spends each month and have done this since I went back to work after DC1 about 8-9 yrs ago. It works for us, if it didn't then we would change it, as I'm sure you would if you needed to. [Smile]

[learnasyougo]

I'm the only one earning and so I pay all the main bills by direct debit (council tax, energy, water, phone, insurance). the remainder is split in half and I transfer a half to Dh (about 550) and keep the other half. this isn't exactly fair, because he buys most of the groceries, so I tend to transfer a smidge more. but I am the one who buys clothes and toys for DS and things for our new baby to come.
I never ask what he does with his share of our money, I put some of mine into an isa when I can. he does too but how much is up to him. I don't care if he spends the lot. we have an arrangement that off one nears overdraft to let the other know. I have transferred extra to him when he had a lot of DIY related outgoings.

[carabos]

We don't overthink it. It is fundamental to me to be entirely independent, to the point where I'm prepared to pay for that comfort (learned the hard with XH). I earn a lot more, I pay for all joint expenses. DH covers his own costs (car, personal spending etc) and we split the cost of holidays.

DCs are adults, but apart from a couple of years when DS 2 was a baby, this is the way it has always been. We never argue about money.

[lastnightIwenttoManderley]

DH and I used to earn roughly equal and so just split the household costs (mortgage, bills, food etc) 50/50; anything left over was our own to save/spend as we saw fit. We do overpay on the mortgage so I see that as joint savings, effectively.

Now our incomes are not quite so equal, so we split the amount we pay towards the household account in proportion to the % of the household income we earn. Not quite the same as MissCalamity but similar principle

[Mumoftwoyoungkids]

Joint account. Everything goes in and out of it. Always have. Can't imagine doing it any other way - too much hassle.

Over the years I have earned a little more, a lot more, nothing at all really (mat leave * 2) and slightly less. Doesn't affect things at all.

We never argue about money.

[snippyMcSnippy]

I am rubbish with money and the main breadwinner. Both salaries go into the account and I try not to buy too much random stuff (Lego mainly!)

[Mintyy]

We just pool the lot, and did from early on in our marriage, before children.

[gertiegusset]

Same here, we pool it all and did pre kids too.

[longingforsomesleep]

Same here - all goes into a joint account and always has done. We have ISAs in individual names but it's all seen as 'our' money.

[MyNameIsKenAdams]

Pool everything. If we want anything we buy it. If its cheap, we just buy it, if its pricey we discuss it. Thankful we live low cost lives. If we want to save, we each withdraw an allowance (same) on a friday and only allowed to spend that on ourselves while we save. Havent needed to save since our wedding three years ago.

[Ihatemytoes]

No joint account here. We each have our own account that our salaries go into.

[Beamur]

We have a joint bank account that all our money goes into. All the bills are paid out of that and we have equal access to whatever is in there.

[Salmotrutta]

Always had a joint account from day one.

I've been SAHM and full time/part time working mum so not always earning full wages.

We've been married for over 30 years and I think most of our peers went the joint account route too whether the wife was working or not.

[Only1scoop]

Joint account ....I don't pay into that but it pays all bills. Both have seperate accounts and savings etc.

[bopoityboo3]

we have always put everything in one account that all bills come out of and then discussed any big purchases for ourselves. It all works itself out in the wash and has never been an issue even though we don't put equal amounts in ( I earn about twice as much as DH and it's never bothered me)