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To be not too pleased by this comment?

(123 Posts)
MolotovCocktail Sat 08-Mar-14 16:24:46

Just met some new neighbours today. My 5yo dd was very excited and chattering away like mad to them.

"Glad mine isn't the only one with verbal diahorrea."

Wasn't said in a nasty way, but didnt come off jokey, either. I didn't really like the comment. I mean, dd is a chatterbox; she does talk a lot but I prefer to say that as opposed to the verbal diahorrea thing. I would prefer to hear that from perfect strangers, too.

I guess the neighbour could have been nervous and/or it just popped out ...

Anyway, AIBU?

DIYapprentice Mon 10-Mar-14 12:20:37

I don't like the phrase 'verbal diarrhoea' but wouldn't get offended.

I tend to say 'he could talk underwater' when describing my DSs non-stop talkathon.

sherazade Mon 10-Mar-14 12:06:08

YANBU, if it's not ok to say this about another adult in the room then beats me why it's fine to say it about a child.

LouiseSmith Mon 10-Mar-14 10:32:08

I say that about my DS.

YABU op, just a saying

DorisAllTheDay Mon 10-Mar-14 10:27:51

I was thinking about the comment this morning. When I was growing up before the dawn of time in the 1970s the phrase verbal diarrhoea was used among kids as an insult, to be rude. Fast forward to when my daughters were growing up in the 1990s/early 2000s and I don't remember ever hearing it. Did it disappear and come back again, or is it a geographical thing? I grew up in northern England, DDs grew up in Scotland and southwest England.

MolotovCocktail Mon 10-Mar-14 10:12:32

Whilst my dd does butt-in to conversations, what happened the other day was as a result of a comment to her about an unusual jacket she was wearing. Dd engaged (with a few too many details, admittedly) about her jacket, where she got it, why it was bought.

But I can understand why someone who hasn't yet unpacked all their worldly goods might not be in the mood to stand and listen to chatter about something like that. She probably wasn't expecting too much of a reply.

AllDirections Mon 10-Mar-14 07:59:39

In honestly though - was your DD talking too much and butting into the adults conversation and/or talking over the adults?

This was my thought too youarewinning

I wouldn't have been impressed if I tried to have a conversation with my new neighbour and their DC monopolised the conversation because their darling angel should take centre stage at all times Not saying this happened OP, just another point of view wink

Sillybillybob Mon 10-Mar-14 06:53:20

Sorry it's Coffee Tramp Toss Bitch review here but is still assume it was the same reference.

Sillybillybob Mon 10-Mar-14 06:49:37

jinglebitch I believe (and I could be wrong) that it's a reference to the (very funny) final episode of the IT crowd where one of the characters inadvertently threw her cup of coffee over a tramp, was filmed whilst doing it, possibly on CCTV, and it went viral, leading to her becoming known as CoffeeThrowTrampBitch.

TamerB Mon 10-Mar-14 06:45:46

People on MN over analyse simple remarks. If I took note I would be scared to ever open my mouth!

KepekCrumbs Mon 10-Mar-14 06:41:27

She was directly comparing your kid with her kid. Who she is presumably madly proud of as we all arenof our beloved offspring. Most the time. So she was actually trying to say something to make friends with you, reaching out in a way which is - as we can see - culturally acceptable to many though not all.


I think the op got that with a little blippette en route.

why do threads like these go on and on?

PrimalLass Mon 10-Mar-14 06:30:27

FFS. Another thread that makes me think I must go around offending people all the time. Surely it just makes your life harder to be so over sensitive? People just say things to fill silence - there is no need to over analyse it all the time.

TruffleOil Mon 10-Mar-14 06:09:39

I'd be slightly taken aback, I think it's a bit crass. But I agree she's trying to be friendly/bond.

jinglebitch Mon 10-Mar-14 06:00:19

OT- what kind of a name is coffeethrowtrampbitch. I mean, I know I have bitch in my name, but it's a modern cultural reference.wink Is coffeethrowtrampbitch also a reference that I am not aware of? Or just an invitation to throw coffee on people we consider to be tramps or bitches? Which I personally find just as insulting as people saying offensive things about children. (not that Saying verbal diarrhoea is, because it ISN'T)

NobodyLivesHere Mon 10-Mar-14 05:39:05

I'd have said 'I'm glad it's not only my kid who talks a load of shit'.
Be grateful I'm not your neighbour.

MichelloBarner Mon 10-Mar-14 05:23:31

She probably thought she meant it as a joke but it does come across as rather passive aggressive and it would have annoyed me too.

steff13 Mon 10-Mar-14 05:16:07

I've heard the phrase here in the US. I don't love it, but I wouldn't be offended by it.

For what it's worth, the Oxford Dictionaries define verbal diarrhea as "the fact or habit of talking too much." Thus, I would consider that the "accepted" meaning, rather than "talking shit," as some people have said.

I suppose how you choose to interpret it is ultimately your prerogative, though.

jacks365 Mon 10-Mar-14 00:43:09

Lunchlady I'm Lancashire born and bred so were my parents and verbal diarrhoea is a very common phrase.

Topaz25 Mon 10-Mar-14 00:22:22

If your neighbour had just said your DD has verbal diarrhea I would think that was rude but since she referenced her own child I think she was clumsily trying to bond with you by saying her DC does that too. Chatterbox would have been a better expression for her to use but maybe she is a bit blunt or maybe she was nervous. I would give her another chance.

TheVictorian Sun 09-Mar-14 23:06:14

Op If that was my kid i would prefer the term chatterbox as its more polite, plus if the child is quite a chatterbox at least they are able to build up their confidence in their speaking and vocabulary.

youarewinning Sun 09-Mar-14 22:52:17

I think of it as being equivalent to a chatterbox.

Can see why people equivocate it to talking shite though.

Plus - she did mention her children were the same.

In honestly though - was your DD talking too much and butting into the adults conversation and/or talking over the adults?

YANBU to be a little put out by the comment as you'd just met them. However people make the same judgements about my Ds(9) who doesn't really respond to chit chat and can stare at people who are talking directly at him. (He has ASD) They make assumptions he rude too.

I've learnt not to let it offend me greatly and I'll continue being friendly but get what your saying about being wary of a friendship. They may be perfectly nice people though OP so don't stop the friendliness developing if it turns out they are nice!

RonaldMcDonald Sun 09-Mar-14 22:37:53



DorisAllTheDay Sun 09-Mar-14 22:23:54

I wouldn't have wanted a complete stranger to say it about either of my DDs when they were that age. Diarrhoea is shit that comes pouring out of an orifice in an uncontrolled and offensive way, and I wouldn't have liked someone likening my child's chatter to it. If it had been said by a friend and I knew they didn't mean anything derogatory, then it might have been OK (though a friend would probably have realised I didn't like the phrase and/or I would have been able to tell them without it being a big deal). The problem was with its use by a stranger. As a general rule, people should remember that parents are sensitive about their DC and it's best to wait before saying anything that could be taken as derogatory, even if you think it's mild and jokey. I think the new neighbours should have been more cautious and taken more care. There were other things that could have been said which would have been safer given that you'd never met before: 'what a lovely friendly little girl' would have fitted the bill perfectly. However, we all sometimes say things without fully considering them first, and as you say, OP, they may have been nervous.

Not sure why you're being given such a hard time, though. I don't think YABU not to like the term (which after all is not a pleasant way to talk about a child even if it's meant as a joke) - and it doesn't seem to me either from your original post or the rest of the discussion that you've ruled out being friends with these people on the strength of a single ill-chosen comment.

gamerchick Sun 09-Mar-14 22:13:10

Depends on whether they said it in front of my child or not.

LunchLadyWannabe Sun 09-Mar-14 22:10:14

I live lancashire north west, and have honestly never heard it.

Is it a more common phrase in the south?

ExcuseTypos Sun 09-Mar-14 22:08:39

I've live in the south now, but spent my childhood in the north.

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