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To want to wallow in a bit of self pity tonight? Or am I asking too much?

(18 Posts)
HughJarse101 Fri 07-Mar-14 21:00:57

Have name changed

Had a few incidents when someone on public transport when someone tried to feel me up. I finally got around to reporting it to the police on Thursday, didn't think they would be particularly interested but they ended up sending 2 officers to work and took 90 mins to take a statement. I then agreed to be part of an undercover sting that night on the off chance he would be getting the same method transport home, this went on for 1 hour, was really stressful but I managed to pick him out eventually and he was arrested. I had to positively identify him in front of me (you have to say I identify you as the man in my statement who did x) which was quite frightening as obviously he can see who I am. He got taken away, I was escorted to my train home and that was it. My train went on its journey and broke down 20 mins into the journey, I got turfed off it and eventually once a new one came got home about 8pm fgs.

I told ds and dd what had happened when I got home (age 13/12) because the police mentioned they may pop in later and I didn't want them to be frightened.

I separated from ex dh in 2012. I texted him to let him know just in case the dcs mentioned it to them when they saw him and I wanted the story straight. I wasn't expecting sympathy but he barely acknowledged it and said he was surprised they'd have a case fgs.

Dp's friend from up north was down for the day as his father had had a fall and was in hospital near us. It sounds pretty terminal (he is in a coma) and I am aware that dp had arranged to see him a while ago. He is here for another week. I called dp to let him know what had happened with the police and he said well I am meeting friend at 6 (at a location half way between the station and our house) so you can pop in for a quick cuddle and I'll see you later.

I was a bit sad that he didn't say I'll see my friend another day but I'm aware I might sound like a spoilt brat for saying that and friends are v important etc. So dp stayed out with his mate and I came back, cooked tea for the kids, they went to bed and I got into bed at 10 and dp wasn't home (not sure when he came back, 11 ish).

Went to work this morning, admittedly dp gave me a nice cuddle this morning, bloke was bailed last night and I was a bit nervous of bumping into him (I saw him at the station but he didn't see me), left work, came home and tonight is dp's night to go and see his ds. Ds doesn't stay over with us so dp had to go there and he just called me to say ex-w has gone out to some gig and probably won't be back till 3/4am so he won't see me again tonight.

So am I wrong to feel a bit sorry for myself? I never ever ever do (work full time, single parent for a long time, spend my life running from pillar to post argh!) but I still feel shocked about what happened and feel I haven't really had a chance to have a proper cuddle with dp and feel better about it all.

BumpyGrindy Fri 07-Mar-14 21:06:05

First of all bloody well done! You've got that pervy wanker! HA!

Secondly...your ex...tits to him...forget that.

Your his shoes I would be pretty torn...if my best friend's Dad was dying and my partner went through what you'd been through I might have said what he said...that I'd be over later. I am sure he will give you the right support when he gets there.

Northernlurker Fri 07-Mar-14 21:06:20

Ummm well leaving aside the DP issues - the police do stings for sexual assault now?

HughJarse101 Fri 07-Mar-14 21:08:55

Yessmile. You actually know who i am, didn't want to post under my real name!

I had to agree to it - I must admit I didn't think in a million years that we would spot him, place absolutely heaving. I barely spot people I know from 5 yards.

HughJarse101 Fri 07-Mar-14 21:12:35

Just re read post - dp was massively sympathetic on Thursday - didn't just say meet me at this place, but I was half hoping he'd come home. He did call me quite a few times to check I was ok. I just didn't feel I could say no I'm not ok when he's with his crying friend whose dad's life support machine is about to be switched off...

Actually that puts it in perspective really doesn't it

Northernlurker Fri 07-Mar-14 21:17:05

well I am really shocked to hear that. Don't think they should tbh.

BumpyGrindy Fri 07-Mar-14 21:19:34

Northern why shouldn;t they? The OP probably said she recognised him if she saw him again...why the fuck shouldn't they do stings? Might put some people off.

HughJarse101 Fri 07-Mar-14 21:20:23

I imagine they don't do it for more serious incidents. It is the first time I have had an involvement with the police tbh.

Northernlurker Fri 07-Mar-14 21:38:24

Oh I'm pleased this man has been caught yes - but I don't think the Op should have been put in that position. Too much pressure on her.

HughJarse101 Fri 07-Mar-14 22:18:24

They did ask me and I did have a think but ultimately either I saw him again without them being there (on a normal commute) or saw him with them and he got arrested. So in my head that was the lesser of 2 evils.

I could just have done with a hug that's all. No family around and have the kids tonight/this weekend so can't pop out to see anyone.

Northernlurker Fri 07-Mar-14 22:21:56

Well I think that was very brave of you. Sorry you didn't get your hug.

AuditAngel Fri 07-Mar-14 22:25:34

Well done. If a few more people were prepared to put their head over the parapet and do the right thing, then those that do the wrong thing might start to suffer the implications of their choices.

And a hug, it isn't always easy to do the right thing.

HughJarse101 Fri 07-Mar-14 22:28:26

Thank you x. Am in bed on my own lying diagonally across the whole bed and using all the pillows ;)

tigermoll Sat 08-Mar-14 00:21:35

Yanbu to need a hug. It sounds really stressful. But he is nbu to be with his friend, so we'll give you un mumsnety hugs instead (hugs)

wobblyweebles Sat 08-Mar-14 00:49:42

Are we allowed to do hugs on mumsnet? What you did was really tough but you did it. Will you get a bit of weekend time with the family to recover?

OnTheCoverOfAMagazine Sat 08-Mar-14 02:02:46

Be kind to yourself - that was a big thing to happen to anyone, give yourself time to process it all. Hope you're ok.

squoosh Sat 08-Mar-14 02:08:44

Well done you OP. These cowardly pervs think public transport is fair groping game, you showed them otherwise.

Must have been a shock seeing him at the station the next morning. Leaves you quite vulnerable to angry retaliation too.

HughJarse101 Sat 08-Mar-14 02:35:17

Thank you for the hugs smile.

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