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AIBU engagement dilemma,

(14 Posts)
LouiseSmith Fri 07-Mar-14 20:04:40

Me and DP got engaged last week. I have told my parents, gran and a few close friends. He said he would rather tell his parents face to face, before announcing it. Fair enough, but it's been a week and nothing. He's seen MIL twice in that time. He hasn't told anyone else either. Is that normal?

I feel a little hurt by it tbh, and he thinks I'm being precious. He wants to discuss plans and venues. But I feel daft doing that when it seems like some big secret.

So AIBU and a bit of a Madame?

Coffeeinthepark Fri 07-Mar-14 20:08:55

Has he given you a ring? Who proposed? How is your relationship with his parents?

DomesticDisgrace Fri 07-Mar-14 20:12:03

I'd echo all the same questions. I think it's odd

NCedToProtectTheIgnorant Fri 07-Mar-14 20:12:29

Think that's very odd tbh, I'd wonder what he was waiting for and why he wasn't bothered enough about the engagement to arrange a good time and tell his parents. Can understand him not telling anyone else until after close family but he should have told family already so should be telling everyone else already.

YANBU but, if he's being ok otherwise and seems genuinely ok about the engagement I'd point out how weird it seems to you that he hasn't told anyone and tell him how it makes you feel. Then tbh I'd refuse to discuss any venues/plans until he has, not in a toddler tantrummy way but just because it seems pretty pointless discussing plans until the potential guests actually know you're engaged!

LouiseSmith Fri 07-Mar-14 20:13:16

He proposed, totally out of the blue. Ring given too. I get on with them well, not well enough to call them myself but I like them, they like me xx

firesidechat Fri 07-Mar-14 20:13:45

No, not really normal for most people, but is it normal for him? Does he generally share good news with friends and family?

DameFanny Fri 07-Mar-14 20:15:29

Suggest to him that you take his parents for Sunday lunch and share the news with them then? Maybe he just doesn't know how?

Nojustalurker Fri 07-Mar-14 20:15:32

This is odd.

I agree with coffee, are you engaged to be married? By this I mean will you setting be actually setting a date by paying a deposit?

magesticmallow Fri 07-Mar-14 20:16:23

No not normal at all, sorry, and not nice of him to be calling you precious either, you are allowed to be excited and want to share that with other people. The fact he has seen his mother twice and said nothing I find very strange

Beamur Fri 07-Mar-14 20:17:16

Does he want you to be there too when he tells his parents? Maybe hevis pickjng his moment to tell them because it's a big deal. He might not want to say anything to anyone until after he's told them. Doesn't seem that weird to me.

WooWooOwl Fri 07-Mar-14 20:18:21

Is there any reason why his parents might not be happy about the engagement so he's just trying to delay an inevitable negative reaction?

NearTheWindymill Fri 07-Mar-14 20:22:31

Hmm I don't know. My DH proposed and we had to go and see my parents, separately, because they are divorced and he felt a bit uncomfortable about it. The next weekend we went to see his and he was equally uncomfortable about it - I had to egg him on all three times. That's just the way he is - he was exactly the same when I was pregnant.

Obviously you shouldn't tell anyone else until both sets of parents know and i think you have been a bit unreasonable there.

stiffstink Fri 07-Mar-14 20:22:52

How odd. What if his parents ask for details of the proposal? He'll have to say it was weeks ago!

Won't they be hurt by the delay?

LouiseSmith Fri 07-Mar-14 20:24:27

No, no reason they wouldn't be happy. We get on.

We were talking about dates, and venues. He just won't tell them. Not even his work mates who are seperate to his parents, no chance of them finding out.

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