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to not want to contribute to OHs fine?

(51 Posts)
Objection Fri 07-Mar-14 18:02:05

Up until yesterday OH has been unemployed (for about 7 weeks). Aside from his £20 contribution into the joint a week, I've been footing all of the bills.
We both contribute into the joint equally on a weekly basis which covers everything (mortgage, food, internet, power etc) except our personal expenses (cars and phones). For the last 7 weeks I've been putting in double.
I have two jobs - one FT in an office mon-fri and one at weekends (7-7 sat and sun) in London as a Nanny - thus how I can currently afford double expenses.
I didn't mind supporting him whilst he found work.

Oh has been picking me up from the train station on Sunday nights as there are no buses. He drives me home (25 mins) and we get in about 10ish.
It's really helpful to me and he says he doesn't mind. I give him petrol money.

However I've just received this text:

Ive just been done for driving in a bus lane last sunday at 21:21! I dont mean to be funny do you mind going half on it?

He's not replying to my texts back but I get the impression that because the trip was to pick me up, he thinks the fine is half mine.
I understand that money is tight for him (because of the above) but I don't really want to pay for his mistake.

AIBU and a complete bitch?

(I haven't spoken to him directly yet as on a train so the signal is bad and also wanted to figure out if I'd be unreasonable to say no)

BuggarMeGently Fri 07-Mar-14 18:07:35

Maybe the text meant "I hate to ask", just worded wrong. IMO it's not your responsibility...but could you pay half, and he pay you back?

ILoveOnionRings Fri 07-Mar-14 18:08:45

I immediately thought I wouldn't pay half - he chose to drive in the bus lane. However if he has no money (ie £0 in the bank) then may pay some under the condition he pays me back.

I wouldn't take it as he thinks it is half mine as he was picking me up, just that he has not got the money at the moment. Will it double if not paid within a certain time?

SingingGerbil Fri 07-Mar-14 18:10:05

Absolutely not. He already pays nothing so the least he can do is pay this.

MyNameIsKenAdams Fri 07-Mar-14 18:10:38

Is the bus lane not timed? Ours are!

PickleSarnie Fri 07-Mar-14 18:11:18

You pay him petrol money?! Because he expects it? Or can't afford it?

I wouldn't give him money for the fine. Unless it was in the form of a loan that he would commit to paying back. It's not your responsibility.

BitchPeas Fri 07-Mar-14 18:14:50

9pm on a Sunday? A fine for being in a bus lane?

I'd ask to see the fine. But I'm of a suspicious nature and have always known bus stops to be mon - sat 7-7 (maybe just my area though)

CombineBananaFister Fri 07-Mar-14 18:16:29

Think he's a bit cheeky tbh - he decided to drive in the bus lane you had no influence on that, he didn't have to and surely picking you up is the least he could do if you've been supporting him.
Maybe give him the money to be paid back later if he physically hasn't got it but it's his mistake and his fine IMO.

BuggarMeGently Fri 07-Mar-14 18:16:30

Ilove that's what I meant...just started on the Crabbies and can't get my words out grin

Bunbaker Fri 07-Mar-14 18:18:43

I would check that this is actually true. Where we live you wouldn't get done for driving in a bus lane at that time on a Sunday.

Nomama Fri 07-Mar-14 18:19:53

Married? Pay the fine.

'Just living together'? Pay the fine.

You are sharing your lives, home and bed. At the moment he is not able to contribute. At some point in the future that will probably be you, redundancy, SAHM etc etc etc

Pay the fine.

Pobblewhohasnotoes Fri 07-Mar-14 18:20:50

Bus lanes aren't in operation then are they?

No I wouldn't pay half.

littleballerina Fri 07-Mar-14 18:23:07

Agree with Nomama.

NatashaBee Fri 07-Mar-14 18:23:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OldLadyKnowsNothing Fri 07-Mar-14 18:24:45

In some places (Glasgow for example) bus lanes are enforced 24/7 and 365, even when there are no buses running.

AgaPanthers Fri 07-Mar-14 18:26:41

I'm not clear what is meant by 'OH'.

You could always lend him the money? Do you earn more than him? What is his job?

OddFodd Fri 07-Mar-14 18:27:26

He doesn't mind picking you up from the station when you're working 60 hours a week and supporting you both?! Jesus, how generous hmm

No I wouldn't pay half. Bus lanes don't even operate in central London on a Sunday night. And you shouldn't have to sub his crap driving decisions

Gruntfuttock Fri 07-Mar-14 18:30:06

I agree with Nomama too.

MyNameIsKenAdams Fri 07-Mar-14 18:30:11

Is he makig steps to find work?

FunkyBoldRibena Fri 07-Mar-14 18:30:50

Some bus lanes are 24 hours where we are.

But...he really should know the rules of the road if he is to be driving around on them. He's getting the benefits of your job you subbing him for 7 weeks.

Bloodyteenagers Fri 07-Mar-14 18:31:45

Aga, did you not read the op. He isn't working, so earns nothing, so op earns more.

No I wouldn't pay a penny towards his fine. It is his responsibility as a driver to know the rules of the road. He knows that depending on where you are, the time you are not allowed in the bus lanes. He took a risk and has been caught.

Oldraver Fri 07-Mar-14 18:34:01

We have bus lanes which are 24 hour...pretty daft when your coming home at 3.3am. I once got stopped in Birmingham at 11.39pm and asked why I wasn't using the bus lane. I know I should of noticed the times but I am so used to them being sakrosankt in Oxford

fanjobiscuits Fri 07-Mar-14 18:36:47

I would say sure, I'll just put in £x less to the joint expenses this week to help me cover it as money is a bit tight for me what with paying for everything at the moment.

LordPalmerston Fri 07-Mar-14 18:38:23

you work all day every day?

HermioneWeasley Fri 07-Mar-14 18:39:17

What will he be paying it from if you're already covering his expenses? Isn't it all your money anyway?

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