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To be annoyed in this situation....

(19 Posts)
ChocolateIsYummy Fri 07-Mar-14 10:18:01

Ok, I have a semi-friend Jane* who lives in my street, I know her as she is a child-minder and has babysat for my son occasionally. She also has a son same age as mine and very occasionally we meet up and go playcentre/play date. Her son goes to a different school to mine - she walks there and goes past my house in the morning.

Anyway, I work and have to take my son, Ethan* to school by 9am and have to get to work by 9.15am. It is a challenge in the morning as I am a lone parent (which she knows). I'm the kind of person who does not like to be late (or make my son late). Also I do not like to be late for work, apart from my own standards, my boss could well not be impressed, as I think most people could view frequent lateness as not very committed and I would imagine most places of work are like this?

Anyway Jane* is on maternity so she hasn't got work to worry about getting to work on time. Everyday she walks past my house with her son to go to school and most mornings it is at the same time as I'm getting into the car with my son. She always makes a point of coming over and making a fuss of my son, talking to him and trying to start a conversation with me, sometimes it means I find it a challenge even to get him into his car seat! I mean doesn't she realise I am on my way to work?!! (clue I have work clothes on and a work bag!)

Anyway today, she was there again and I said 'Sorry cant stop as we have to go.' She got all huffy and said 'Oh fine, bye then Ethan' in a huffy tone and stomped off!! Grrrr and breathe :-)

*not real names :-)

whodrankallthemilk Fri 07-Mar-14 10:20:00

maybe you should ask her if she minds taking your son too? Maybe she is trying to establish a relationship with you and you keep huffing her off beucause you work

NickNacks Fri 07-Mar-14 10:20:42

God what a bitch. Being social, saying good morning and fussing over your precious child. I'd call the police and never talk to her again. Wicked wicked woman.

NickNacks Fri 07-Mar-14 10:21:47

They don't go to the same school.

YouTheCat Fri 07-Mar-14 10:22:22

Why don't you leave the house 5 minutes earlier and then you won't have a problem?

PinkLemons Fri 07-Mar-14 10:22:58

Surely this is a reverse AIBU?

PuppyMonkey Fri 07-Mar-14 10:23:31

Leave your house a bit earlier so you miss her?

IWillOnlyEatBeans Fri 07-Mar-14 10:29:17


Next time you see her just explain how rushed you are in the morning. Or leave the house earlier so you miss her.

LaurieFairyCake Fri 07-Mar-14 10:31:05


Anyone pissed off about this wants to be 'Jane' - with the needless description of work clothes and work bag.

ChocolateIsYummy Fri 07-Mar-14 10:31:24

I never said or implied she was a wicked woman lol I just asked if I was being unreasonable being annoyed for her being in a huff because I said I didn't have time to chat!

Leaving 5 mins earlier is a challenge as I am in a rush in the morning anyway and would mean having to hang around at the school gates which I find a pain. I find it annoying that I have to change my whole routine because someone expects me to be all chatty in the morning when I have to get to work. I suspect she wouldn't be so chatty if she had to get to work but she doesn't go back until September.

Shamoy Fri 07-Mar-14 10:34:47

Next time you see her just say 'sorry I can't chat in the mornings, hope you don't take offense, it's such a tight schedule to get ds to school and me to work, I hate being late' so she knows there's a genuine reason why you can't chat.
For all she knows she sees you every day, stops to say hi and is friendly and one day out if the blue you snap at her iyswim

JeanSeberg Fri 07-Mar-14 10:40:12

Do you work OP? Can't tell from your post as you only mentioned the word 9 times.

CardiffUniversityNetballTeam Fri 07-Mar-14 10:40:18

I understand that you might be annoyed.
But please stop to consider the reasons why she might want to stop and talk to you. Maybe she is lonely. Maternity leave can be an isolated time if you lack confidence. Perhaps she hasn't got any/many friends. Think for a minute how you would feel being given a breezy brush off when you were only trying to be nice.
More people should stop for a second and consider how their actions affect others I think.

ChocolateIsYummy Fri 07-Mar-14 10:45:45

I have actually mentioned to her in passing (not in the morning) that I find it a rush in the morning, maybe I didn't make it clear or maybe she wasn't listening!

She is definitely not isolated, she has a husband (who works from home mostly), her mum also lives in the same street (who she sees often) and she has 2 brothers and 2 sisters that I see her with often (not in the mornings though). She has told me she loves being on maternity and is only going back to work because they have to for financial reasons.

I think I will text her and say I am sorry I couldn't chat but didn't want to get in trouble for being late to work....

formerbabe Fri 07-Mar-14 10:49:06

Do you have her number...I would text her saying something like

'really sorry I couldn't chat this offence intended but I am always in a rush in the morning as I start work at 9.15'

Then invite her over for a coffee

Feminine Fri 07-Mar-14 10:49:49

Annoying for you.

However YABU.

I'm sorry, you sound a little envious really. That is also understandable but

this lady is being nice you can't really complain.

Just life.

MatryoshkaDoll Fri 07-Mar-14 10:50:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CrapBag Fri 07-Mar-14 10:53:55

Actually SWBU to get huffy because you don't have the time to stop and chat. Its fine for her to have the time to stroll to school, chatting on the way but she should accept that others don't and its weird for her to take offence like that.

winterhat Fri 07-Mar-14 11:45:07

Definitely send the text. You don't want that sort of misunderstanding taking hold.

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