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To go to get my hair done?

(8 Posts)
JustAnotherYellowBelly Fri 07-Mar-14 09:48:41

My mum's partner has just been rushed to hospital.

Back story:
Throughout my childhood he was a violent alcoholic. He hated me and he commanded my mum's attention constantly which led to neglect. I could never do homework as I was either waiting for him to get home from the pub or he was there absolutely bladdered. We got into physical fights often and he would make sure I got no sleep by banging on my bedroom constantly.
On the night of my A level recital he drank a litre bottle of whiskey and we knew it was because mum spent an evening with me.
I could go on...
Last weekend he got taken to hospital twice and, as I'm the only one who can understand foreign accents, I went. This led to me having to leave work on Monday because of a migraine from not eating/drinking/sleeping all weekend.

He's been rushed in again (after mum phoned me at 8am on my only day off as she "didn't know what to do") because he collapsed twice, the ambulance have said low blood pressure.
This is a man who survives on cigarettes and coffee and will not eat (food is a control thing from when mum would spend time with me).

I'm still stuck in FOG.

AIBU to go get my hair done at 1030 before trekking up the hospital? Should I even go to the hospital?

TheOrchardKeeper Fri 07-Mar-14 09:54:48

Oh god, seriously? It's not naice to say but honestly, fuck him. You owe him less than nothing and your mum has mistreated you as a child by staying with such a man. Im sure she had her reasons and is stuck/he's emotionally abusive which can be hard to leave etc. But it's not your problem now and you shouldn't even have to go shock

I seriously wouldn't in a million years. Go get your hair done!

dawntigga Fri 07-Mar-14 09:58:14

Go and get your hair done - I REALLY don't understand the foreign accents bit.


formerbabe Fri 07-Mar-14 09:58:51

Don't go... Why would you? You don't even have that sense of obligation many have to crappy parents because they are biological parents...sod him!

Hadmeathello Fri 07-Mar-14 10:00:19

No question. Go and get your hair done and while you're there think about whether you want to go to the hospital at all.

GiniCooper Fri 07-Mar-14 10:03:34

I'd get my hair done, nails too. Have a coffee, lunch out...
See a then me here. I certainly wouldn't be going to the hospital.

Famzilla Fri 07-Mar-14 10:04:04

Get your hair done, then call a close friend and get some lunch. Or get your nails done too. Shopping. Whatever, just don't go back to this man. You owe him nothing and your mum is just a pitiful enabler.

Sorry to be blunt, I went NC with my abusive parent (and then subsequently the enabling one) a year ago. I understand FOG all too well but only you can stop it.

JustAnotherYellowBelly Fri 07-Mar-14 18:46:53

Wow. Thank you for the responses! (I did check earlier but...)
I honestly thought IWBU!

This afternoon mum said she didn't have money for food or the car park... I kind of preempted this and got a lift. And... She expected me to sit with him. Unfortunately my lift was waiting.... wink
Sat at mum's now because I had to get some clothes together because she was coming home to feed the dog... Make sense of that please...

The accent thing - he lived in London from the 40s to the 70/80s.... So has been exposed to many accents and seems to understand them in social settings but obviously needs me there to translate Geordie accents...

I think today I'm just pissed off with it all whereas normally I just take it.

Oh and he's been hospitalised on my last 3 days off, no other time.


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