I'm a regular, have NCed for this.
One of our friends has just lost her job and is facing losing her home as she can't afford the rent, she has no family in England. DH, without speaking to me, told her if it comes to it she can move in with us.
I love this friend dearly and obviously I don't want to see her on the streets but she smokes weed and has told me before that she can't sleep unless she's had a joint, which whilst she's doing it in her own home is IMO her business, but she knows I don't like it. There have been a couple of times she's been round and smoked it on the balcony, after DD was in bed, even though I've told her that I didn't want her to even have it on her if she was coming round here, so if she can't respect that even for an evening then I'm worried that she's going to have drugs in the house, which I don't want round DD. Plus it's a council flat and says quite clearly in our tenancy that allowing drug use could get us evicted, so it only takes someone smelling it and complaining and we are screwed.
There are other issues as well, but I could probably find a way to live with these/work out a way to solve them if there wasn't the worry about drugs. The flat is only 2 bedrooms, so we don't have a spare room and she'd have to sleep in our living room which would be annoying. We struggle to afford bills anyway so adding another persons food/electric/water usage would make life hard but we couldn't ask her for any money as a) the council would view that as us having a lodger and b) because she's not a British Citizen she's not even sure she can claim benefits so may well have no money at all. She tells DD off, and whilst I'm quite happy for other people to tell DD off if she's being a brat, friend tells her off for things I wouldn't and is nastier with her telling off than I am.
I'm also really pissed off with DH for not talking to me about it first.
So AIBU and selfish as DH says I am?
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AIBU?
to not let friend stay with us and be a bit pissed off with DH about it?
40 replies
Menolly · 07/03/2014 09:25
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