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Who's right - DP or school?

(37 Posts)
mouse26 Thu 06-Mar-14 22:24:24

Went to collect ds2 (5) from school today, all the children have left but no sign of ds. Asked where he is - he'd gone to one of the after school clubs.

He had been talking about this club and told us he was doing it during the day, not after school. Teacher says we've signed a letter saying he could do it but we know we haven't even seen a letter about it so definitely haven't signed anything. He's somehow convinced them that he is supposed to be in the club though, they offered to fetch him out but we said it was fine, we'd bring in the money for it tomorrow, and off we go home.

DP goes to fetch ds when the clubs finished and is told that, actually, ds shouldn't have been there (obviously!), all the places are taken and he can't go next week.

I can see their point and actually do agree with them - they have limited spaces for a reason and ds2 really shouldn't have been in the club in the first place. BUT dp is not happy - He says they are being completely unreasonable and that since they made the mistake of allowing him to go in the first place they shouldn't now upset him by refusing to allow him to continue going.

So, if you were me - who would you agree with?

ProfessorSkullyMental Thu 06-Mar-14 22:26:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RustyBear Thu 06-Mar-14 22:27:32

If there are limited spaces, which child does your DP suggest should lose their place?

SquirtedPerfumeUpNoseInBoots Thu 06-Mar-14 22:28:11


AnnabelleLee Thu 06-Mar-14 22:28:49

your DP is being one of those parents.

Lemme guess, pfb?

Littlefish Thu 06-Mar-14 22:29:18


Bowlersarm Thu 06-Mar-14 22:30:33


Your DS gatecrashed, and shouldn't have been there.

Purplepoodle Thu 06-Mar-14 22:31:15

School. Though however guessing the teacher really got to him by insisting he had signed a letter ect.

Smartiepants79 Thu 06-Mar-14 22:32:17

Well, think your DP is being a bit unreasonable.
Your son went, knowing full well he wasn't supposed to be there.
The limited numbers may be for safety reasons.
Just try and get him into it next term.
What happens if every kid who is cheeky enough to talk their way in gets to stay? There may well be a waiting list.

YouTheCat Thu 06-Mar-14 22:33:41

I agree with school - there is no place for him this time.

However, that school is failing in its safe-guarding procedures if it doesn't know which children are supposed to be there.

deakymom Thu 06-Mar-14 22:34:02

they have a list of children who are supposed to be in clubs his name is not on the list he shouldn't have gone to the the club! really i would be wondering if the school is efficient enough to organise anything if they can't even get a register right?

mouse26 Thu 06-Mar-14 22:42:57

He would hate to think he was one of those parents but that is exactly what he is being smile

Not a pfb.

I don't think he's considered the fact that he is basically suggesting another child loses their place.
He is generally very easy going and would normally agree with the school, I'm blaming his opinion on his lack of sleep this week

Wantsunshine Thu 06-Mar-14 22:50:09

Hang on your child is 5 and managed to convince the teachers he was meant to be in this club. They do not sound remotely switched on. I am with your DP here. The school sound like they need to buck their ideas up.

Pipbin Thu 06-Mar-14 23:04:22

Were you late in collecting him?
You said when you got there that all the other children had gone and DS was in the club already.
Maybe they thought he was in the club as no one had shown up to collect him.

prh47bridge Thu 06-Mar-14 23:04:32

The school is right. There are regulations around the number of children per adult. Depending on the ages of the children there may also be requirements regarding the amount of floor space per child. They cannot ignore these regulations just to keep your DP happy. Having said that there has clearly been some kind of failure in allowing your son to stay in the first place.

NoodleOodle Thu 06-Mar-14 23:17:19

The school is right.

I've been working out the specific MN acronyms as I go but please, someone tell me, what is a pfb?

NoodleOodle Thu 06-Mar-14 23:18:45

Ok, I'm officially an idiot. Just after I posted I noticed the directory of acronyms list link above, sigh. Someone tell me why we can't edit?

nannynewo Thu 06-Mar-14 23:18:49

precious first born noodle

aufaniae Thu 06-Mar-14 23:20:10

Precious first born

ThornOfCamorr Thu 06-Mar-14 23:26:34

School are right BUT they obviously didn't have the paperwork signed by you otherwise your son would have his place. They should have double checked this before allowing him to go to the club. Your ds seems to have the gift of the gab- he will go far grin

TheVictorian Thu 06-Mar-14 23:27:28

mouse26 if the club has limited places then how was your ds able to attend ?

ThornOfCamorr Thu 06-Mar-14 23:32:21

Ours school rang the wrong parent recently when a child was sick. They didn't even check surnames just forename of child and picked wrong surname. Wrong parent came to collect a child which didn't belong to them. She had to get a taxi across the city and was so worried but her child was still in class. It cost her time off work and travel costs. Mistakes do happen. I don't think your DH is BU by the way but it's impossible to simply create a place for children in a club. I would be annoyed too.

mumminio Fri 07-Mar-14 00:16:29

With the school...but very proud of your DS for convincing them! That bodes well for the real world smile Perhaps take him to a different but similar class, or get him on a wait list.

GarthsUncle Fri 07-Mar-14 00:27:23

Um, the issue here is the imaginary letter, surely?

WooWooOwl Fri 07-Mar-14 00:34:44

I agree with school, but I admire your ds for managing to convince them!

Is the club run by an external company? If so, your DH is being especially unreasonable.

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