Who's right - DP or school?

[mouse26]

Went to collect ds2 (5) from school today, all the children have left but no sign of ds. Asked where he is - he'd gone to one of the after school clubs.

He had been talking about this club and told us he was doing it during the day, not after school. Teacher says we've signed a letter saying he could do it but we know we haven't even seen a letter about it so definitely haven't signed anything. He's somehow convinced them that he is supposed to be in the club though, they offered to fetch him out but we said it was fine, we'd bring in the money for it tomorrow, and off we go home.

DP goes to fetch ds when the clubs finished and is told that, actually, ds shouldn't have been there (obviously!), all the places are taken and he can't go next week.

I can see their point and actually do agree with them - they have limited spaces for a reason and ds2 really shouldn't have been in the club in the first place. BUT dp is not happy - He says they are being completely unreasonable and that since they made the mistake of allowing him to go in the first place they shouldn't now upset him by refusing to allow him to continue going.

So, if you were me - who would you agree with?

[RustyBear]

If there are limited spaces, which child does your DP suggest should lose their place?

[SquirtedPerfumeUpNoseInBoots]

School

[AnnabelleLee]

your DP is being one of those parents.

Lemme guess, pfb?

[Littlefish]

School.

[Bowlersarm]

School.

Your DS gatecrashed, and shouldn't have been there.

[Purplepoodle]

School. Though however guessing the teacher really got to him by insisting he had signed a letter ect.

[Smartiepants79]

Well, think your DP is being a bit unreasonable.
Your son went, knowing full well he wasn't supposed to be there.
The limited numbers may be for safety reasons.
Just try and get him into it next term.
What happens if every kid who is cheeky enough to talk their way in gets to stay? There may well be a waiting list.

[YouTheCat]

I agree with school - there is no place for him this time.

However, that school is failing in its safe-guarding procedures if it doesn't know which children are supposed to be there.

[deakymom]

they have a list of children who are supposed to be in clubs his name is not on the list he shouldn't have gone to the the club! really i would be wondering if the school is efficient enough to organise anything if they can't even get a register right?

[mouse26]

He would hate to think he was one of those parents but that is exactly what he is being

Not a pfb.

I don't think he's considered the fact that he is basically suggesting another child loses their place.
He is generally very easy going and would normally agree with the school, I'm blaming his opinion on his lack of sleep this week

[Wantsunshine]

Hang on your child is 5 and managed to convince the teachers he was meant to be in this club. They do not sound remotely switched on. I am with your DP here. The school sound like they need to buck their ideas up.

[Pipbin]

Were you late in collecting him?
You said when you got there that all the other children had gone and DS was in the club already.
Maybe they thought he was in the club as no one had shown up to collect him.

[prh47bridge]

The school is right. There are regulations around the number of children per adult. Depending on the ages of the children there may also be requirements regarding the amount of floor space per child. They cannot ignore these regulations just to keep your DP happy. Having said that there has clearly been some kind of failure in allowing your son to stay in the first place.

[NoodleOodle]

The school is right.

I've been working out the specific MN acronyms as I go but please, someone tell me, what is a pfb?

[NoodleOodle]

Ok, I'm officially an idiot. Just after I posted I noticed the directory of acronyms list link above, sigh. Someone tell me why we can't edit?

[nannynewo]

precious first born noodle

[aufaniae]

Precious first born

[ThornOfCamorr]

School are right BUT they obviously didn't have the paperwork signed by you otherwise your son would have his place. They should have double checked this before allowing him to go to the club. Your ds seems to have the gift of the gab- he will go far

[TheVictorian]

mouse26 if the club has limited places then how was your ds able to attend ?

[ThornOfCamorr]

Ours school rang the wrong parent recently when a child was sick. They didn't even check surnames just forename of child and picked wrong surname. Wrong parent came to collect a child which didn't belong to them. She had to get a taxi across the city and was so worried but her child was still in class. It cost her time off work and travel costs. Mistakes do happen. I don't think your DH is BU by the way but it's impossible to simply create a place for children in a club. I would be annoyed too.

[mumminio]

With the school...but very proud of your DS for convincing them! That bodes well for the real world :) Perhaps take him to a different but similar class, or get him on a wait list.

[GarthsUncle]

Um, the issue here is the imaginary letter, surely?

[WooWooOwl]

I agree with school, but I admire your ds for managing to convince them!

Is the club run by an external company? If so, your DH is being especially unreasonable.

[littleblackno]

I'm always turning up at school to find my ds has joined a club, convinced the teacher he should be in the wraparound care (he loves it and wants me to work full time). I have to go and retrieve him.
I don't think the school are failing usually its someone from the club who comes in with the list and the teacher may not know who's on it. If the teacher looking at the list isn't familiar with the kids then ds 'gets confused/forgets/just fancies it on that day' and joins them. He can't leave the school so is safe.
I agree with the school though, there was a mix up, your ds managed to join a group he shouldn't have but it doesn't mean they should make a space for him.