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to be pissed off at mumsnet for receiving emails like this

(25 Posts)
Aoifebelle Thu 06-Mar-14 18:40:59

I have been waiting for a week now to start my third miscarriage. It just started this morning. The miscarriage boards here have been a great source of support. Today I received an email from mumsnet entitled "things you don't want to hear when you have just had a baby". AIBU to expect this not to happen. It gave me the right rage.

Topseyt Thu 06-Mar-14 18:45:33

I would have hoped that they would have excluded the miscarriage boards from the list of intended recipients of such an email.

Surely it was a mistake if they did not, and insensitive. Do you feel able to reply to it and point this out?

So sorry you are having such a hard time with the miscarriages. I miscarried my first pregnancy and was devastated then. I can't imagine how you feel with this being your third. Sending you hugs.

everlong Thu 06-Mar-14 18:48:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

givemeaclue Thu 06-Mar-14 18:48:48


basgetti Thu 06-Mar-14 18:49:04

I just saw that email and said the same thing to my DP. I recently miscarried and winced when I saw the heading. YANBU IMO. Sorry for what you are going through x

everlong Thu 06-Mar-14 18:49:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklymommy Thu 06-Mar-14 18:51:11

Sending you hugs and thanks

It isn't much of a consolation but I had 11 miscarriages between my 1st and 2nd dcs. I now have four healthy children and whilst I still feel great sadness when I think of the babies I lost I am able to be thankful for what I do have.

With regards to the e-mails, I'd probably try to overlook it. Hard I know, and your not being unreasonable to be upset, but I don't really know how mumsnet can rectify it.

thanks and cake for you

PeggyCarter Thu 06-Mar-14 18:51:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Marrow Thu 06-Mar-14 18:54:52

I'm so sorry you have had another miscarriage. However I would (gently) say that YABU. It was just a general email. They won't be able to identify that you have had a miscarriage. It is Mumsnet and as such a lot of subject matter will be about children. You can opt out of receiving emails. I am glad you have had good support on the miscarriage boards.

Serenitysutton Thu 06-Mar-14 18:56:21

I don't really understand how a mailing list could "opt out" certain boards- you don't register by board, how could
It work?

It must've been very upsetting though

WilsonFrickett Thu 06-Mar-14 19:01:44

You can't opt out by boards but you as a member can opt out of all MN emails, which I keep meaning to do...

Sorry you were upset by this OP, and for your loss.

ArtexMonkey Thu 06-Mar-14 19:03:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OwlCapone Thu 06-Mar-14 19:07:43

Unfortunately, there is no way for the mailing list to know who has suffered a miscarriage.

Sorry for your loss.

Trills Thu 06-Mar-14 19:10:46

You are being unreasonable to expect this.

It is understandable though, you get a free pass on unreasonableness for a while.

BertieBotts Thu 06-Mar-14 19:24:38

I think this is an unintended consequence of them changing the title of the talk round up, TBH. They used to just be called "Mumsnet talk round up" - of course still no warning as to contents but at least you know it's going to be something lighthearted and potentially baby/young child related without it being shoved in your face (which I'm sure they didn't intend to do)

Unfortunately the emails are sent automatically, it's not linked to any board you've visited, you're either signed up to it or you're not. So as others have said it's not possible to filter people out based on whether they have or haven't visited a particular board.

I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through.

ArtexMonkey Thu 06-Mar-14 19:29:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Aoifebelle Thu 06-Mar-14 19:31:11

Ummm I may BU but it has still given me the raging arsehole. sparkly 11 miscarriages. Wow. I am ready to throw the towel in after no dc and three mc. Not quite ready to think about what next.

CatherineMumsnet (MNHQ) Thu 06-Mar-14 19:36:23

Hi OP, we're so so sorry about this. Would you like us to unsubscribe you from all mails? Please do email us on and we'll get this sorted.

AlanAlanAlAl Thu 06-Mar-14 19:41:20

I saw that and thought the same. Don't lose faith though, I lost 4 babies, one born too early at 22 weeks. No cause found. I was told to accept I may never be a mum. I had acupuncture before and for the first 24 weeks. I stopped exercise except short but frequent swims. I was under the consultant and had regular scans in case it was a cervix issue. So YANBU to be upset by what was in your inbox, or when you hear awful stories of chold neglect or abuse, but please don't give up, miracles do happen and my beautiful baby is proof.

candycoatedwaterdrops Thu 06-Mar-14 19:41:42

I understand why you feel upset and YANBU to feel ragey and sad. flowers But they either send all emails or no emails, there is no way of knowing.

moonriverandme Thu 06-Mar-14 20:46:18

I understand how upsetting this must have been for you.
Have you contacted the Miscarriage Association for support with your emotions and sadness about the loss of your babies?

Redcliff Thu 06-Mar-14 21:26:11

I am so sorry that you are having such a hard time and nothing you feel or post is unreasonable right now . I have had two miscarriages and they are awful things - it was often the little things (like such e-mails) that would make me feel the worse. Good luck and be kind to yourself.

Aoifebelle Thu 06-Mar-14 22:38:14

Fair dos MNHQ. Will do as advised. I still think you may need to rethink the titles of your general mails. Not all of us are enjoying parenthood, just enduring the pain of getting there. Hopefully

deakymom Thu 06-Mar-14 22:38:45

ouch that has so got to hurt unsubscribe from there emails totally sad

PicaK Thu 06-Mar-14 23:00:33

Oh. You are b u but gosh i've been there and i know how much it hurts. thanks

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