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AIBU?

to think that working

31 replies

yorkie84 · 05/03/2014 18:24

One year above you year does not necessarily make you scholarship material. I have a friend whose ds has been working at one level above his age in a couple of subjects. Friend is talking about applying for a scholarship to an independent school.
Aibu to be a bit concerned about this as I fear she and her ds will be disappointed if unsuccessful. And that there will be many candidates with greater academic ability.

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WooWooOwl · 05/03/2014 18:27

No, it does not necessarily make a child scholarship material.

But if they don't try then they'll never know. I would leave it up to your friend to decide whether her child can cope emotionally or not if he doesn't get it.

The possibility of being disappointed is not a reason to avoid trying your best something.

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MrsTerryPratchett · 05/03/2014 18:27

Depends on how competitive the school is. I think it is unlikely but it also depends on what the school wants in a pupil. He might tick other boxes. Does it really matter to you?

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ShatnersBassoon · 05/03/2014 18:28

Don't rain on their parade. You don't know the full picture.

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WorraLiberty · 05/03/2014 18:29

A bit of disappointment never killed anyone

As WooWoo said, if they don't try they won't know.

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SomethingProfound · 05/03/2014 18:30

Only her and her Ds's teachers truly know the child in questions academic ability.

How about being supportive and encouraging?

Or are secretly hoping your "friends" DS doesn't gain a scholarship?

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MrsPatrickDempsey · 05/03/2014 18:33

How old is the child?

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Pippintea · 05/03/2014 18:34

DD has been in year above her own for two years. She is not scholarship material. Your friend's DC may be though. There are some very bright children out there.

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drnoitall · 05/03/2014 18:36

Best of luck to her and her ds.
Being disappointed is not a reason to not try.

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lottieandmia · 05/03/2014 18:36

Why are you posting about it? It seems mean for you to be putting your friend's child down in saying there will be loads of better candidates. How would you even know what someone else's child's potential is?

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BrownSauceSandwich · 05/03/2014 18:37

Ugh! "Scholarship material"? What a revolting way of wording it. I wonder if you're dressing up a touch of snobbery about this child's abilities as concern for his welfare.

Sensible parents would treat this as a potential increase in the child's choices, and encourage them to see the "all for the best" in the outcome. Any disappointment will be fleeting.

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lottieandmia · 05/03/2014 18:38

As an aside though, scholarships are not worth much money. Usually it is a kind of recognition award. A bursary is worth a lot more financially.

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ChocolateTeacup · 05/03/2014 18:39

YAB a bit of a bitch tbh, he could get in and it be the best thing for 'your friends' ds or he could not and learn you have to try and work hard and can still get knocked back (a good lesson)

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yorkie84 · 05/03/2014 18:41
  1. I guess I was just surprised that she was considering it. He is a lovely lad but quite sensitive and shy. Just think he may find it abit of an ordeal.
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MrsPatrickDempsey · 05/03/2014 18:43

I know one size doesn't fit all but my niece worked in the year above since year 2 or 3 (can't remember) and still is in year 12. She got about 12 A stars at gcse. She did gain an academic scholarship in year 7.

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yorkie84 · 05/03/2014 18:43

Of course I would never say this to friend. I have been supportive. Just mulling it over.

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yorkie84 · 05/03/2014 18:45

That lovely to hear mrsp. Maybe I should be considering it for my ds too.

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HadABadDay2014 · 05/03/2014 18:46

My niece has always worked a year above her level, last term she got a letter inviting her to an open day at a university. She is only 12 and only 5 out of a year of around 300 pupil got the letter. It said so in the letter.

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notthegirlnextdoor · 05/03/2014 18:46

Scholarships also aren't 100% based on test scores etc. They allocate them based on several things including potential and parental income.

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Anonymai · 05/03/2014 18:47

Why don't you just go round and shit in her face? That should put her back in her place.

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Ludways · 05/03/2014 18:48

If he doesn't try he'll never know. A reality check is easier to handle than a missed opportunity.

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yorkie84 · 05/03/2014 18:48

Maybe I am also being swayed by g & t boards. Where people are forever being told that 5c is nothing special at the start of year 5.

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yorkie84 · 05/03/2014 18:49

Maybe wrong words used in op. Aplogies.

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lottieandmia · 05/03/2014 18:50

I'd be really pissed off if a so called friend wrote stuff like this about my child on mumsnet.

Why don't you just focus on your own child OP?

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yorkie84 · 05/03/2014 18:50

Apologies. Damn ipad.

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Guitargirl · 05/03/2014 18:50

YABU. It's for his parents to determine whether it would be an 'ordeal' for him or not.

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