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To want someone else to choose for me?

(10 Posts)
Cadastre Wed 05-Mar-14 10:20:24

We need to move house because our landlord is selling. We are living in a town of about 20,000 people outside Dublin city. I work in the city centre (about an hours commute by bus) and DH works in the 'burbs and it takes him about 50 minutes because of the heavy traffic. DD is in first year (sorry don't know the UK equivalent) and is happy in her school. We started looking for somewhere to buy but the prices are high for a small three bed semi. If we move further out it will be an hour and a half commute for me and one hour for DH. DD will have to move schools BUT we can get a massive 5 bed detached on 3/4 of an acre. If we stay in the area we are in now we've got a small choice. We just don't know what to do - what's best. Can someone else decide? Is that unreasonable?

Optimist1 Wed 05-Mar-14 10:31:49

Would you be interested in buying the house you're currently renting?

GhoulWithADragonTattoo Wed 05-Mar-14 10:34:48

Commuting more than an hour each way would be too much for me, especially with a young daughter. Ultimately this is about your priorities and not something anyone else can decide.

Piffyonarock Wed 05-Mar-14 10:38:30

I did an hour and a half commute for several years, but it was before we had the little ones. If you can make use of your commute time it might not be too bad, I used to read, knit and ended up part of a nice little group who all travelled together and am still friends with some of them now. The big house and garden sounds like it might be lovely for your home life. Your DD will probably settle well in a new school while she's so young. Might you find work nearer to the house in the future if you moved? Would you miss the facilities you have in the town you are in if you move further out? Based on what you've said I'd probably move further out for the big garden, but it has to be right for you and your family. Good luck :-)

henrysmate Wed 05-Mar-14 10:45:16

Could you "find" five hours a week for a new hobby? What do you currently do that you'd have to give up to work in that commute time to your week? How much do you like gardening? Could you find another 2 or 3 hours a week to keep on top of that amount of land?

Sceptimum Wed 05-Mar-14 11:00:29

Long commutes are awful. If it were me I'd be looking for a smaller place closer to work. I had a1.5 commute for 2 years and by the end I hated it.

Cadastre Wed 05-Mar-14 11:26:25

Thanks for all the opinions. It's a big decision alright. I'm tempted by the big house and garden but a two hour commute would probably make me resentful after a year and a winter the dark and cold. The house we are in at the moment needs a lot if work and is on the market for a lot more than we would be willing to pay.

Remember if your DD is in first year, she'll be getting more and more independent. She will want to visit friends by herself, go shopping (the dreaded Dundrum SC!) so consider if the country location has good public transport links (I'm out near Wicklow, work in Dublin city centre, and have a daughter in school about halfway in - luckily near family so it works for us)

eosmum Wed 05-Mar-14 11:55:19

I know what you mean, but to be honest if you're used to being local to everything it's difficult to change. Your dd is what 13? She is going to have to be dropped everywhere for the next 5+ years on top of a commute. I have family living in mansions in Cavan that cost less than half what mine cost, who commute to Dublin, they'd move back in the morning if it was possible. Between the cost of petrol and wear and tear on their cars and lack of time to enjoy their new surroundings it hasn't worked for them.

Cadastre Wed 05-Mar-14 13:00:44

Onthebottom and eosmum you both make great points. Cavan was actually somewhere we were considering hmm She's going to be 13 in July and has a better social life than both myself and DH combined! I felt really bad at the thoughts of taking her from the school because she loves it. We are in a town that Dublin Bus serves and I use it to commute to the city. I have a tax saver ticket that works out at a little over €90 a month. The Bus Eireann bus ticket would be €240 a month. I'm answering my own question really aren't I?

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